Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

This isn't funny, Howard.

I have the little TV show here.

just keep him on the line.

uh, vivacious...

if you want to talk about this.

Anyway, Pig Vomit says to me,

You're gonna ruin this woman's mood.

[Lmitating Dog]

if it wasn't going right... you know?

which is a good sign, I think.

Naked Woman: Well, after the show,

It's great to see you.

I told you I work spontaneously. I think that I...

Even if I'd put you in the hospital

you didn't stand behind me.

Get out of here!

I need a life that is ours, that belongs to us.

beautifully big-breasted Robin Quivers. I love her.

Well, she's a Hollywood actress.

Come on back here, hold this sign...

E'I AMAR BARI ! GET THE FUCK OUT KHANKI KUKUR

You're completely on fire about having a baby.

# Ooh-ooh-ooh dee dee #

You pick music.

You got a great body. Let everybody see it.

Hi, everybody. My name is Gene Sternburn,

out to, uh, her new movie. It was really good.

Honey, if you're up there now,

No. They just thought I was an idiot.

Orioles over the Red Sox 3-2 last night,

Robin: Oh, goodness, what's going on?

I mean, no one realizes I got to be up

I mean, think about what a burden that is.

to create the appearance of having a large penis."

None of it. What the fuck is it?

the first time I was ever on stage with a 12-inch kielbasa.

I'm in the middle of important show research.

Well, I'm gonna set up lunch...

# Girl, you really got me now #

What would you do?

Woman Caller: Hi, is this Howard Stern?

This is Donna Porter with us on the show,

- Is this one crap? - Don't be a moron.

without people looking at me like, "Oh, God, that poor little thing."

He's everything and anything to me, Mr. Blackswell.

Come on! How can you say that?

Yeah, I had everything I ever wanted in life, you know.

because it's vulgar and obscene.

so I guess I was kind of curious to meet him.

L... I think I quit.

Are we off the air?

Howard: I had, like, no listeners,

It's baby time! I'm ready to give you a baby.

All right, enough of this nonsense.

I wanted everyone to wake up the next morning

Listen, I know I've been a real pain in the butt, OK?

I told you, shut up.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

One of them actually killed himself,

[Crowd Chants "Howard"]

What a fucking jerk.

# Plowmen dig my earth... #

I just gotta get touched.

I think you've been loyal to every person you've ever worked with.

and he proved this theory years ago.

I'm making a film for my film class,

Put me in charge of the Stern show.

Yeah, what were you?

Howdy, partner.

I just need to rest. I need to get some sleep.

It's cold, real cold,

[Overemphasizing] W N BC.

[Crowd Chants "Howard"]

Hey, everybody!

[Disco Music Plays]

I hate going out.

at first I really thought I'd won them over.

It'll just take 2 seconds.

and every fundamentalist group in this country hates my guts,

winds out of the northwest.

Woman In Movie: Hello?

And this is Howard's first job interview.

I am making a baby!

the most aggressive radio station in Detroit.

Tell me, uh, what's going on in the traffic?

A real man would have done it right the first time.

As a disc jockey, you're... you're shit... ha ha ha ha...

you're saying about us, you understand?

I smell smoke. Are you smoking in there?

I'm looking forward to joining the team.

It wasn't my fault.

But I refuse to work with this man one minute longer.

He wants to be on radio.

Could you turn the treble all the way down

Oh, yeah, he's been terrific.

Oh, Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard.

I really think this show's starting to take off.

Wow! He's getting awfully personal this morning.

I mean, Howard complains that his penis is too small,

What you see this guy he hardly worked in this movie at all always on the phone yakking yakking yakking Hah

# My mind was achin' #

The lovely and talented Fartman, ladies and gentlemen.

to New York's newest disc jockey.

But you got to admit, it was a funny bit.

I just realized, uh... that makes no sense what I just said.

# And nothing's bad as it may seem... #

Stop that. Stop.

It's an equation from hell.

You shaved your mustache.

In any language, pussy.

Come on, Pig Vomit.

[David Bowie's Let's Dance Plays]

You can't blame a radio station. It's my screwup.

stick around for the new guy Howard Stern

Oh, hello. How are you?

The average radio listener listens for 18 minutes.

but she started making a lot of sense.

and they screwed me. We gotta get back in there and beat them.

You're not getting the phone from me, Kenny.

Now let's go to our newest member

our ratings actually improved,

Howard Stern was lured away from Washington by a New York City station.

and I was not saying the call letters right.

I have no bulge in my crotch. I have a small penis.

# There must be some kind of way out of here #

I don't care, 'cause I love the taste of a man. Ooga.

My name is Howard Stern,

There's nobody listening.

They're gonna be lining up 10 in a row.

in praise of me!

People of New York...

Would you, please? Would you give us a record,

Kenny: I have, uh, Howard Stern outside.

That seemed like the obvious answer.

on the Howard Stern Experience,

I can't believe how late I am.

I should be talking about my personal life.

And thank you, Mr. Announcer.

and all scripts... and I do mean all scripts...

Answer most commonly given:

Yeah, sure. Of course.

I was in. This was it.

Howard Stern: You know, when I look back on this moment in my life,

What the hell is she doing?

Hold the sign nice and low.

Hi. Is this Betty Jean Rushton?

He's been very successful, and God bless him.

I'm Moti, station manager.

or other bodily functions."

Robin: Howard! You're married.

Appreciate it, Robin.

That would be it, sir.

I'm not kidding around... You are beautiful,

But I'm saying I was in the 103rd.

Come over here. You want to sit down on this couch?

Ooh, now, that's hot.

In fact, we're designing a more restrictive program

She could walk around with your father and little Clumpy pictures.

You know, we could name the baby and everything. Clumpy... Clumpy Stern.

So, it's not too bad, you know?

Beautiful. Beautiful. I don't believe it.

OK, I know what you're saying.

Oh, boy, do I feel stupid.

Senior year... Big year for me.

- Man's a... - [Jackhammer]

Kind of weird, you know?

2021, GET THE FUCK OUT!

I really got to go.