Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

It's not your fault. It was a lame station.

I've done quite a bit of light comedy in my younger years.

Oh, it's not funny?

Hey. How was it?

Howard, not everything is for your audience.

Thank God you're back, 'cause the show sucked without you.

You know what? You know what you are, Stern?

it's gonna cost half a million dollars

Anyway, her head went through the windshield.

I could have sex with you standing up.

It was 'cause I was making a kid.

This is Cheap Trick.

I grow on you like a fungus.

Come on, you're gonna have to move.

Hey, that's kind of wild.

We should be taken off the air.

Just fucking records! It's just this fucking place.

Uh, but I'll tell you,

I'm gonna gargle with this

# Cat scratch fever... #

Gabba gabba gabba gabba...

I've been coughing all day.

Hi. Al, you home?

My guess is we'll get coverage from 200, maybe 300...

Behold, the greatest. That is me.

He hit me, Robin. He's hitting me.

How would you know what's funny, anyway?

The average Howard Stern fan listens for...

Well, I've done it. Now the cat's out of the bag.

Excuse me for a second.

You pick up the phone, and it rings right into my booth.

I had no idea what I was doing,

You look! See that?! Blood, Stern!

Howard: Can I use your hair dryer?

Beats me. No one wants to work with him.

You have the radio show,

You're an asshole!

Howard: Alison's not coming to Detroit.

Hi, I'm Howard Stern.

Is it Monaco or Mon aco?

You have who outside?

And in a couple of months, we're gonna try to have a baby again,

You're so blessed.

I don't want to get that.

and say the call letters over and over again until I get it right.

to... Mr. Howard Stern.

you had every teenager in the country eating out of your hand.

Sure, come on in.

Not the myth, but the man.

Alison: No. I'm pregnant.

You're pathetic.

Come on, guys. Wrap it up. They're not doing it.

and, I mean, it's a legitimate film.

I don't want to do it anymore.

at WNBC radio here in New York City.

I'm gonna play a record. DC 101.

she actually invites me

Now, see, I don't care about what you did down in Washington,

[Cheap Trick Song Plays]

Oh, yes, I can, Howard.

Look, watch this.

All right, now, Let's keep going.

Listen, I want you to fire Dickie Davis.

Reporter: Love him or hate him,

That's right. And then what?

Hoo. Uh, well, we decided that Detroit has too many rock stations,

and I'm telling you, I really should've had more.

It is so late. I got to get to bed.

CCC, AM 1290, FM 107...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Shut up! You disgust me!

I mean, the way they were screaming,

You two are just adorable together,

Husband: What do you mean? You are doing it.

It's just like going swimming.

Who would've thought?

I know I can do that. I have that ability.

But this guy wrote a good book.

he wouldn't have time to put on pants.

She hates me. She thinks I'm total scum.

The nominees for best actor are...

And that's so healthy. It's such a good way to look at it.

Oh, my God. Look at that.

but I understand there's already been a problem?

but I'm an ugly man. I know this.

[Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever Plays]

and take me to work with him.

By the powers vested in me

was the most unprofessional and insulting experience of my life.

Howard On TV: I am Officer Howie,

And don't criticize Washington.

Ooh, look at that bra. Where did you get that?

I mean, it was fait accompli.

Wider and kind of...

and I would work very hard for this company

- Oh, my God. - This is Gary.

Overnight, I become the big boss.

I'm gonna hit you back.

You say a lot of offensive things,

Howard's Mother: Howard?

are you ready for this?

He was obnoxious.

It's an equation from hell.

She, like, signals for me to go with her.

Howard: I love you.

It had nothing to do with you.

Oh, baby, yes! Right there. Ohh!

occasional showers, and precipitation.

OK. That's it. That's it!

a little menage a trois tonight?

Ohh! Beautiful. You're a work of art. Did you know that?

You know, Robin, let me interrupt for a second.

Alison, this is Howard. Howard, this is Alison.

OK? So on the air is not for you.

Naked Woman: I've been thinking about you, too.

why do they listen?

- No way. - No, they do.

Fuck you till your asshole

I'll see what I can do.

um, is a great place to go.

Just tell me that you're ready. Are you ready?

I'm just doing what he told me, that's all.

Hi. Hi, I'm Camille,

The donkey's not part of the act.

All right. So getting back to what I was talking about...

But he was really onto something,

Ohio is number 2 & 3 in the market..

Oh, my goodness.

of The Howard Stern Show.

I thought you were going to control this guy.

Man, I'd love to have a stereotype like that.

Hundreds of people gathered in Central Park this afternoon

Would you mind rubbing them for a minute?

That's the way you are, you know?

Well, you must have felt fabulous.

I'm very, very honored right now

is my life mate, my soul mate, my love mate.

I can always count on you for help, man.

- Go up and get in... - OK.

No, no, don't push. Just breathe deeply.

This is Howard.

All right. You go first.

Why don't you explain to my audience

Just like the boys, Gene, I've got cock.

And you know, maybe it's a little premature.

the counseling center says there's a communications program

[Sighs] I'm hot.