Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

at WNBC radio here in New York City.

Howard: Can I use your hair dryer?

# Cat scratch fever... #

Alison, this is Howard. Howard, this is Alison.

- No way. - No, they do.

And don't criticize Washington.

I know I can do that. I have that ability.

That's right. And then what?

This is Howard.

but I understand there's already been a problem?

Overnight, I become the big boss.

How would you know what's funny, anyway?

Naked Woman: I've been thinking about you, too.

I thought you were going to control this guy.

All right. You go first.

I grow on you like a fungus.

Fuck you till your asshole

I can always count on you for help, man.

but I'm an ugly man. I know this.

Oh, my goodness.

[Cheap Trick Song Plays]

I don't want to get that.

I could have sex with you standing up.

You have who outside?

But he was really onto something,

He hit me, Robin. He's hitting me.

Howard: Alison's not coming to Detroit.

are you ready for this?

Husband: What do you mean? You are doing it.

Behold, the greatest. That is me.

of The Howard Stern Show.

Oh, baby, yes! Right there. Ohh!

Listen, I want you to fire Dickie Davis.

Well, I've done it. Now the cat's out of the bag.

to... Mr. Howard Stern.

- Go up and get in... - OK.

Excuse me for a second.

Alison: No. I'm pregnant.

why do they listen?

Why don't you explain to my audience

and, I mean, it's a legitimate film.

You're an asshole!

Well, you must have felt fabulous.

CCC, AM 1290, FM 107...

Ohh! Beautiful. You're a work of art. Did you know that?

Just tell me that you're ready. Are you ready?

My guess is we'll get coverage from 200, maybe 300...

It's just like going swimming.

I'm gonna gargle with this

Who would've thought?

You pick up the phone, and it rings right into my booth.

Look, watch this.

You're pathetic.

she actually invites me

Hey, that's kind of wild.

You look! See that?! Blood, Stern!

Ooh, look at that bra. Where did you get that?

Hi. Al, you home?

I've been coughing all day.

And that's so healthy. It's such a good way to look at it.

You know what? You know what you are, Stern?

But this guy wrote a good book.

Anyway, her head went through the windshield.

All right, now, Let's keep going.

Hundreds of people gathered in Central Park this afternoon

I'll see what I can do.

OK? So on the air is not for you.

You say a lot of offensive things,

a little menage a trois tonight?

um, is a great place to go.

I'm gonna play a record. DC 101.

This is Cheap Trick.

[Sighs] I'm hot.

Thank God you're back, 'cause the show sucked without you.

I'm gonna hit you back.

Beats me. No one wants to work with him.

and take me to work with him.

the counseling center says there's a communications program

The average Howard Stern fan listens for...

Oh, it's not funny?

And you know, maybe it's a little premature.

was the most unprofessional and insulting experience of my life.

I've done quite a bit of light comedy in my younger years.

Hey. How was it?

Hi. Hi, I'm Camille,

Now, see, I don't care about what you did down in Washington,

I'm very, very honored right now

he wouldn't have time to put on pants.

is my life mate, my soul mate, my love mate.

All right. So getting back to what I was talking about...

Hoo. Uh, well, we decided that Detroit has too many rock stations,

I'm just doing what he told me, that's all.

I mean, the way they were screaming,

Wider and kind of...

We should be taken off the air.

And in a couple of months, we're gonna try to have a baby again,

Would you mind rubbing them for a minute?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Man, I'd love to have a stereotype like that.

It is so late. I got to get to bed.

OK. That's it. That's it!

No, no, don't push. Just breathe deeply.

Howard, not everything is for your audience.

Howard On TV: I am Officer Howie,

I mean, it was fait accompli.

I don't want to do it anymore.

Come on, you're gonna have to move.

you had every teenager in the country eating out of your hand.

Howard: I love you.

Shut up! You disgust me!

Oh, yes, I can, Howard.

occasional showers, and precipitation.

Come on, guys. Wrap it up. They're not doing it.

Gabba gabba gabba gabba...

You know, Robin, let me interrupt for a second.

Ohio is number 2 & 3 in the market..

That's the way you are, you know?

Is it Monaco or Mon aco?

it's gonna cost half a million dollars

You're so blessed.

and I would work very hard for this company

Reporter: Love him or hate him,

- Oh, my God. - This is Gary.

Howard's Mother: Howard?

Oh, my God. Look at that.

You two are just adorable together,

Just fucking records! It's just this fucking place.

Uh, but I'll tell you,

and say the call letters over and over again until I get it right.

She hates me. She thinks I'm total scum.

It had nothing to do with you.

I had no idea what I was doing,

The donkey's not part of the act.

The nominees for best actor are...

It's an equation from hell.

It's not your fault. It was a lame station.

Sure, come on in.

He was obnoxious.

Just like the boys, Gene, I've got cock.

Hi, I'm Howard Stern.

[Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever Plays]

She, like, signals for me to go with her.

It was 'cause I was making a kid.

and I'm telling you, I really should've had more.

By the powers vested in me

You have the radio show,

Not the myth, but the man.