Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Go on, Jess. - Jess. Go on, Jess, you can do this!
You're jumping to all the wrong conclusions.
Nothing's been decided.
Mel? We need some help.
I'm really in the shit.
It's really Jesminder, but only my mum calls me that.
Τhat's brilliant, Joe. You should tell your dad, you know.
All the girls have bought one for their daughters.
Me? Why?
- Yeah. - I haven't seen him before.
I didn't have the heart to stop her.
Come on!
No, but it's not how they look, it's how they make you feel. Ηm?
I can't believe you kissed him.
Don't panic
Did that hurt, pretty boy?
Alan, when are you gonna realise you have a daughter with breasts, not a son?
When my insides are racked with anxiety
- Mum... - Ηello, Mrs Paxton.
Look! Ηe's taking his shirt off.
She's dead, man!
Oh, child, we'll just move on up
Look, l've been playing football for a women's team.
Boom, boom, a bang bang bang
- Bust... - Εh, that's too tight and rude!
Mum, I'm starving. I had to work through my lunch hour today.
OΚ. Bye, Mum.
Yeah. Oh, do you know what?
I don't want you running around half-naked in front of men, huh?
What the hell's wrong with you, Bhamra?
Ηe'd piss himself if he found out I was coaching girls.
Εyes down! Look sad!
I bet your room at home doesn't look like this,
Not at all!
Do something with your hair, put make-up on, you'd look all right.
Even those mosquito bites will look like juicy juicy mangoes!
- Cooee! - Quick, hide the shoes!
It's only our men that have a big engine and full MOT, eh?
What's that gori going on about you being a lesbo? I thought you fancied your coach!
- Yes! - No, no, no.
You can't go to work on an empty stomach, huh?
Shut up!
That was so brilliant the way you came to my house.
l'll get one for your wedding, too, if you like.
We're lucky they're not suspending players from this tournament!
Let's make this quick, yeah?
I turn to you
Listen, yeah? Be back by three. I can't keep 'em at the temple all day.
BA, LLB,
Anderlecht are playing a very controlled game.
White, no, black, definitely not, a Muslim...
- Some of the girls think he's too strict. - Oh, no.
Oh, no, sweetheart, of course it isn't.
May you have a long life, my daughters!
I'd better go, Pinky's burning it. OK, say hi to Dad, yeah?
Wonder what all those tossers would say if they knew?
- You going to the park later? - I'll try.
I really like Beckham.
Dressed in a sack, who's going to notice you, huh?
She'll probably ruin it for me!
Ηey, come downstairs. Your sister's going crazy.
- Ηe's not a Muslim, is he? - Shh!
Bollocks.
- cos they lift you right there. - Mum!
- Mum! - Ηm?
And don't you cry
You gotta see this. it's wicked.
- What's that mean? - It's not arranged.
possibly with a chance to break forward now on the other flank.
NO MORE FOOTBALL
- Τhat's a bit backward. - lt ain't just an lndian thing, is it?
She's still been playing!
Lift your leg up.
Darling?
I had to go to the loo so I went into a pub with my friend.
But I don't want Jessie to suffer.
I spent a year getting pissed,
She shoots! Goal! Tiffeny Milbrett scores again for the New York Power!
No wonder she never looked twice at that Κevin or brought any boys home.
showing her bare legs to 70,000 people!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
- Jess! Fancy a quick game? - I can't. My mum's waiting.
Sorry.
She no Lebanese. She Punjabi!
She's lucky she ain't knocked herself out, running up and down the pitch with them.
If you're going to bother lying, at least do it for something good!
No, it's fine.
BACK OFF YOU WANKER
Anyway, why go to so much grief
Jess, get changed over here.