Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Jessie's a good girl now.

Are you ready to go? See you slags later!

- Ηi. - Ηello. Nice to meet you.

What did he say, Dad?

It's a proper pitch with lights, corner flags, changing rooms...

- I mean, look at Posh and Becks. - Well, Beckham's the best.

- Get your boots on. - I haven't got any.

I don't need to feel close to my family, Jess.

not bring back food for you.

But it wasn't my fault!

Come on! Are you gonna dance with me?

Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?

You look lovely.

I usually play all over, but up front - on the right is best.

That even with the distance and the concerns of your family,

and Silvestre here at left back,

We can do what we want.

And you cannot slip

Oh, it's so amazing! Me and Jess there together, the pair of us!

- Ηow long have you been playing? - For ages, but just in the park.

I want Jesminder to go to college first, anywhere that she wants.

She's a footballer. She's on the team with me.

And the Old Trafford crowd warming now to the way Beckham is taking over.

Εnough about football. Come on, you're dancing with me.

At least I can still skin you alive!

I think she got confused like Teetu's parents.

Ηow could you be such a hypocrite?!

On the contrary, I vowed that I will never play again.

- What does she look like? - She looks like a jar of bloody Ragú, innit?

but can't make round chapatis?

I turned them down.

Look, we're not trying to cause trouble.

you know, in swimwear and sarongs and that...

Εveryone I know's a prat. They think girls can't play as well as them,

lt's that coach bloke, innit? I knew something was up when he turned up here!

When I jumped up to the grill to get the toast, my trousers caught alight,

Dad hasn't talked to me since.

Lesbian? Ηer birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

- Doesn't she look good? - She looks great.

at Old Trafford!

You lift my spirit, you melt the ice

Yeah, well, you fancying your gora coach is OΚ with me.

You think they will let our girls?

Oh, God, why did you give me two deceiving daughters?

Εxcuse me, it's getting really late. You'd better board the plane.

- Sweetheart... - See what you've done?

poured cold water over me and pulled them off,

Jules still has a shot.

Well done, Jenny!

OK, OK, fine, baba, let's just do it before something else goes wrong!

Stupid cow. I had matching accessories and everything!

Honey, all I'm saying is, there is a reason Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella.

- What? - I'm sorry!

Look how happy they are, Tony. I don't want to ruin it for 'em.

Losing to the Jerries on penalties comes natural to you English

I'm not blaming you, but it is the football.

Oh, here he is.

- Where do you normally play? - In the park.

or a proper Sikh with a full beard and a turban?

Going on about him and his private business in the papers like that.

- That's the best bit! - Yeah, you should know!

- Ηe's interested in both of you. - Me?

- No! - You are!

Don't be silly. I'm not promised to anyone.

They saw you at a bus stop kissing him!

And took me in so soon

Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!

vision and awareness - absolutely magnificent.

Will it be Scholes? Could it possibly be Ryan Giggs?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, that's it. Bye!

Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!

Cast off after three years of being married to a white boy with blue hair!

We need some pace up front. Jules could do with some decent service.

I'm so excited!

- Let me see 'em! - Ηey, come here.

Wow! And that's why you need an lndian boyfriend?

Jesminder, oh yeah, I'm sorry. I cooked a lovely curry the other day.

- Wonderful! - Ηave you read all these as well?

Of course I'd understand what that feels like.

You're lucky...to have a family that cares that much about you.

the sea salt has to be level with the mustard.

lt's a goal by Jess Bhamra!

Probably won't get it. Better not to count on anything.

Feeling hot, hot, hot!

- Yeah, yeah. Make it 34 and a half. - No, tighter!