Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Εveryone I know's a prat. They think girls can't play as well as them,

Yeah, yeah, yeah

- What does she look like? - She looks like a jar of bloody Ragú, innit?

I want Jesminder to go to college first, anywhere that she wants.

I'm not blaming you, but it is the football.

lt's a goal by Jess Bhamra!

- Where do you normally play? - In the park.

Εnough about football. Come on, you're dancing with me.

vision and awareness - absolutely magnificent.

- Doesn't she look good? - She looks great.

Yeah, that's it. Bye!

- Sweetheart... - See what you've done?

Look, we're not trying to cause trouble.

Don't be silly. I'm not promised to anyone.

And took me in so soon

Stupid cow. I had matching accessories and everything!

Well done, Jenny!

Ηow could you be such a hypocrite?!

poured cold water over me and pulled them off,

Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?

They saw you at a bus stop kissing him!

Honey, all I'm saying is, there is a reason Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella.

Come on! Are you gonna dance with me?

We can do what we want.

Going on about him and his private business in the papers like that.

Feeling hot, hot, hot!

Of course I'd understand what that feels like.

but can't make round chapatis?

Cast off after three years of being married to a white boy with blue hair!

at Old Trafford!

not bring back food for you.

I usually play all over, but up front - on the right is best.

I don't need to feel close to my family, Jess.

What did he say, Dad?

- Yeah, yeah. Make it 34 and a half. - No, tighter!

I'm so excited!

And you cannot slip

On the contrary, I vowed that I will never play again.

Dad hasn't talked to me since.

OK, OK, fine, baba, let's just do it before something else goes wrong!

Yeah, well, you fancying your gora coach is OΚ with me.

and Silvestre here at left back,

- No! - You are!

Lesbian? Ηer birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

- Let me see 'em! - Ηey, come here.

I turned them down.

- What? - I'm sorry!

We need some pace up front. Jules could do with some decent service.

Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!

Wow! And that's why you need an lndian boyfriend?

- Wonderful! - Ηave you read all these as well?

- That's the best bit! - Yeah, you should know!

At least I can still skin you alive!

Oh, it's so amazing! Me and Jess there together, the pair of us!

Jessie's a good girl now.

Are you ready to go? See you slags later!

Will it be Scholes? Could it possibly be Ryan Giggs?

Oh, God, why did you give me two deceiving daughters?

Look how happy they are, Tony. I don't want to ruin it for 'em.

Εxcuse me, it's getting really late. You'd better board the plane.

When I jumped up to the grill to get the toast, my trousers caught alight,

You lift my spirit, you melt the ice

Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!

- Ηi. - Ηello. Nice to meet you.

the sea salt has to be level with the mustard.

Jesminder, oh yeah, I'm sorry. I cooked a lovely curry the other day.

You look lovely.

I think she got confused like Teetu's parents.

That even with the distance and the concerns of your family,

- I mean, look at Posh and Becks. - Well, Beckham's the best.

Jules still has a shot.

She's a footballer. She's on the team with me.

- Ηe's interested in both of you. - Me?

You're lucky...to have a family that cares that much about you.

lt's that coach bloke, innit? I knew something was up when he turned up here!

But it wasn't my fault!

You think they will let our girls?

- Ηow long have you been playing? - For ages, but just in the park.

or a proper Sikh with a full beard and a turban?

- Get your boots on. - I haven't got any.

Probably won't get it. Better not to count on anything.

It's a proper pitch with lights, corner flags, changing rooms...

you know, in swimwear and sarongs and that...

Losing to the Jerries on penalties comes natural to you English

And the Old Trafford crowd warming now to the way Beckham is taking over.

Oh, here he is.