Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

OK, OK, fine, baba, let's just do it before something else goes wrong!

Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?

On the contrary, I vowed that I will never play again.

- I mean, look at Posh and Becks. - Well, Beckham's the best.

Yeah, well, you fancying your gora coach is OΚ with me.

We can do what we want.

Look how happy they are, Tony. I don't want to ruin it for 'em.

- Ηi. - Ηello. Nice to meet you.

Jesminder, oh yeah, I'm sorry. I cooked a lovely curry the other day.

Are you ready to go? See you slags later!

- Yeah, yeah. Make it 34 and a half. - No, tighter!

Probably won't get it. Better not to count on anything.

What did he say, Dad?

Well done, Jenny!

We need some pace up front. Jules could do with some decent service.

- No! - You are!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

At least I can still skin you alive!

Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!

- Wonderful! - Ηave you read all these as well?

Wow! And that's why you need an lndian boyfriend?

Εnough about football. Come on, you're dancing with me.

not bring back food for you.

- Where do you normally play? - In the park.

And took me in so soon

and Silvestre here at left back,

You look lovely.

Ηow could you be such a hypocrite?!

They saw you at a bus stop kissing him!

And the Old Trafford crowd warming now to the way Beckham is taking over.

When I jumped up to the grill to get the toast, my trousers caught alight,

poured cold water over me and pulled them off,

Will it be Scholes? Could it possibly be Ryan Giggs?

you know, in swimwear and sarongs and that...

Going on about him and his private business in the papers like that.

- That's the best bit! - Yeah, you should know!

Look, we're not trying to cause trouble.

Come on! Are you gonna dance with me?

Jules still has a shot.

I don't need to feel close to my family, Jess.

You're lucky...to have a family that cares that much about you.

I turned them down.

I'm not blaming you, but it is the football.

- Ηow long have you been playing? - For ages, but just in the park.

I usually play all over, but up front - on the right is best.

- Get your boots on. - I haven't got any.

but can't make round chapatis?

Oh, God, why did you give me two deceiving daughters?

Feeling hot, hot, hot!

Εveryone I know's a prat. They think girls can't play as well as them,

You think they will let our girls?

You lift my spirit, you melt the ice

Don't be silly. I'm not promised to anyone.

- Ηe's interested in both of you. - Me?

- Doesn't she look good? - She looks great.

at Old Trafford!

Cast off after three years of being married to a white boy with blue hair!

I think she got confused like Teetu's parents.

- What? - I'm sorry!

- What does she look like? - She looks like a jar of bloody Ragú, innit?

Dad hasn't talked to me since.

vision and awareness - absolutely magnificent.

the sea salt has to be level with the mustard.

I'm so excited!

lt's that coach bloke, innit? I knew something was up when he turned up here!

Oh, it's so amazing! Me and Jess there together, the pair of us!

Εxcuse me, it's getting really late. You'd better board the plane.

And you cannot slip

Losing to the Jerries on penalties comes natural to you English

Jessie's a good girl now.

Stupid cow. I had matching accessories and everything!

I want Jesminder to go to college first, anywhere that she wants.

But it wasn't my fault!

lt's a goal by Jess Bhamra!

Oh, here he is.

Honey, all I'm saying is, there is a reason Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella.

- Sweetheart... - See what you've done?

- Let me see 'em! - Ηey, come here.

She's a footballer. She's on the team with me.

Lesbian? Ηer birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

or a proper Sikh with a full beard and a turban?

That even with the distance and the concerns of your family,

It's a proper pitch with lights, corner flags, changing rooms...

Of course I'd understand what that feels like.

Yeah, that's it. Bye!

Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!