Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

lndian girls aren't supposed to play football.

Dream the dream

Mum, she's back.

And I don't fancy being busted by your dad again. You'd better get back.

see you slags later

I mean, I never bunked off school like Pinky or Bubbly.

Three players coming behind you the whole time, hunting you!

I love that picture. lt was taken just after we beat Millwall last year.

- Aren't they? Pretty girl like you. - Mum! Stop embarrassing yourself!

- Jules, take care of yourself. - Ah, see you later, mate.

- Give yourself three cheers. Ηip, hip! - Ηooray!

Oh, you still not up? Guess who's come to see you.

- But, Dad! - No! This is where you spoil her!

even these mosquito bites will look like juicy, juicy mangoes!

Don't smile! lndian bride never smiles.

- She was crying. - Our Τeetu also.

- Nothing as serious as this. - This, serious?

- but now it's... - Now what?

- Mum! - Paula, please.

Look at that kick!

'Scuse me. That suit...

I only had a couple of wines.

Oh, Mum, do I have to go shopping again?

- Jess, that's brilliant! - Yeah, nice one, Jess.

I don't ever want to see anything like that from you ever again!

- What the bloody hell were you thinking?! - Juliette, I saw you with my own eyes!

lt doesn't matter how long it takes

Your dad can't be as mad as her.

"Do Something With Your Hair, Put Make-Up On, You'd Look All Right."

What is wrong with you, Jess?

I couldn't understand what that Εnglish woman was saying?

when I was a teenager in Nairobi,

- Find out which date the hall is free. - I'll do that.

None of our boys are in any of the football leagues.

Violent conduct towards another player.

and I really want to go,

I can't. it's the same day as my sister's wedding.

Get those legs up!

You blow 'em up, just like a Lilo.

Look at her arse!

He's really taking responsibility every time they have possession

Tuck it in. Tuck it in. Tuck it in.

I thought I had a bad one on my knee but yours is gorgeous.

If I lose my patience

What, you mean...?

l've got to go, Mum, someone's coming. I'll see you later. Bye.

- You're all bloody mad! - Jesminder, don't use those swearing words.

Anyone can cook aloo gobi, but who can bend a ball like Beckham?

I have to treat you the same as everyone else.

I really like that lace Lycra one. Uh-oh, there's your mate.

The posh French mustard is the defender.

Make sure you keep this by your bed all the time, huh?

- Ηow did it feel out there? - Brilliant. Really, really great.

- Oh, I dunno. - You can't keep lying. You're too good.

paki but im indian

Pinky will meet someone new

Jessie, my darling.

John, have Εngland found the player to relive their World Cup glory from '66 ?

Can I not wear my tracksuit bottoms?

Ηussein's a Muslim name, their families are different.

But, Dad, the 25th...

Thanks, Dad! Mum!

- She's got it. - Got it!

I feel like I'm either going to let the team down or really piss them off,

You haven't seen any of it, have ya?

Bitch! Just cos she's still a V, man, she thinks she's better than us, innit?

At least l've taught her full lndian dinner. The rest is up to God.

Yeah, yeah. I'm a right sob story, aren't l?

- Oh, he's not my boyfriend. - No, I'm not her boyfriend.

I can't live without it

- They're due for a good stuffing. - Absolutely.

You're part of a tradition now.

l've never smoked.

Nah, it just looks awful.

Down one-nil. Come on!

You haven't left everything to the last minute?

Nah. No, he'd get sacked if he was caught shagging one of his players.

Well, we're joined in the studio now by Jess's mother, Mrs Bhamra.

just give us a shout downstairs if there's anything you two fancy.

There was, like, junior boys' stuff, but when he busted his knee,

Oh no, sweetheart, not the sports bras.

Joe, our coach! Joe, man, Joe!