Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

He'll be happy to hear that.
I have no independent recollection of going to the Chicken Ranch.
The deputy at the front gate keeps away onlookers
Well, I bet he's runnin' for office.
They're always confusin' crime with sin.
Really? Even after all these years we've been meetin' like this?
Don't I always?
No, no, no!
What?
I never told anybody this, Mona, but...
Well, it's just as well anyhow, Jewel.
Oh, you're kiddin' me. You smart-ass.
Don't move. Be right back.
The Watchdog Report. It's on tonight.
I was a deputy back then,
I haven't been to bed with another woman besides you in three years.
No one's blamin' you, Ed Earl. It ain't your fault.
I got myself a pretty good BS Detector
Well, I saw Dulcie Mae in town today.
Lookit here! Watch this.
Oh, it's all right, Ed Earl.
you can have anything done to you
Where is she?
Jeff Gerald, ABC News, Gilbert, Texas.
I don't know what you're talkin' about, "I don't look sexy. "
This University of Texas defense...
rests with the Governor,
folks been jumpin' on me
Y'all come back now, ya hear?
Some folks think that that's when the trouble started.
Ah. I'm glad I was late.
Oh!
There he is. Come on, boys.
While he was on vacation. Caught him dead to rights.
You know why? Because I trust you.
You did that real fast.
I intend to.
Unnecessary publicity? He's got me all wrong!
Well, I think that's wonderful.
The old Watchdog, Melvin P. Thorpe, got what he wanted.
I don't have to listen to this shit. Damn it! I'm the law.
Careful.
was at the back knockin' on the screen door.
And Miss Mona, she's gonna get hers, too.
Not that it's big news to anybody over three months of age.
They pay their taxes. Just like you and me!
He'll be along.
Yeah!
What do you mean?
I hear him talking but he don't come in.
Come on! Look who's here.
on this issue and uphold the law.
If I choose to, I'll close this place down till hell freezes over.
I don't believe in matrimony. It screws up a relationship.
Now, now, the way I see it, the Chicken Ranch served a purpose once.
For a report, here is Jeff Gerald in Gilbert, Texas.
If they can't find 'em, they'll rape 'em.
You got a point there, Ed Earl.
That one.
I know.
Hold this.
Remember? Did you remember to bring my check?
Oh, I'm so glad to see ya.
Billy Joe, light switch.
They like you, too.
Senator, roll call.
Mona?
on every "hell," "goddamn," and "shit. "
Only been one here for about 150 years.
I don't have one-tenth the trouble from Miss Mona's that I have from you
Yeah? Well, sing it to me, honey.
workin' for Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd.
I'd love to see that sheriff's face right now!
Little feet, little hands, got no peckers.
Y'all come back now, you hear?
Why?
You gave me your word and I took it!
So don't be tellin' me what my goddamn job is,
Get him, Sheriff.
I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast.
already in the legislature, while traditionalists and fundamentalists
Dad-gum it, Ed Earl! If you ain't a pluperfect fool!
or I'm gonna lock you up so fast your corset's gonna pop!
You wanted me to remind you about your 2:00 appointment.
Cut! All right, now, stay with me, boys.
He's gettin' some pictures for a piece on the late news tonight.
Didn't I? Yeah.
Why has the Chicken Ranch operation been so long ignored?
I didn't hardly get to even see them!
What did you figure the cameras were for?
What do you mean? I look like I always look.