Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

No, don't say do svidaniya.

Oh, it's okay. It's just a couple girlfriends.

You are here a little early, right. You didn't go to that bathroom, did you?

...out there. - No, thanks, Kenneth.

TODD: Unh, ah! Ava!

Tonight. Christmas Eve.

LAMAR: Oh, I got you now.

Gat's coming out

I don't understand what it is with you people and your trees.

For a massage. Heh.

No. No, no, no.

...to come to the party.

I'll tell the elves.

You look better. Hi.

BOTH: Thanks, WaffleBot!

I won't fuck her!

I love you too.

MR. PEREZ: It's a miracle!

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

- Aah! - Oh, my God.

HAROLD: I didn't know the nuns all showered in the same room.

[SINGING] Deck the halls with boughs of holly

How do I even know...

She bled to death.

Stop watching me in the bathroom!

I'll take care of the tree. You have a family night in Manhattan.

- I wouldn't say best... Yes. - Yeah. Yep. Besties.

MADEA: Who told you that?

GOLDSTEIN: For us Christians...

I can run it again.

Relax. It's not what it looks like.

You've all been waiting for:

This here's my partner in crime, Lamar.

Yeah, realistic, not fucking gay as shit.

But this may be the last chance we've got.

I'm just wondering...

Oh, this is not good.

Start talking! Now!

Nothing about lighter.

So, what's up with this package?

Oh. That reminds me. Remember that chick I met on the Internet?

Karate Kid style.

...the best way to communicate with a child.

Yeah, I was gonna say, it looks like you guys got some awesome sconces.

- Thank you. - Don't respond to him.

Hold on. We'll drop the tree off and then we'll go get you your virgin.

I already asked him. He said no. He's spending Christmas...

[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]

GRACIE: Excuse me, Neil?

...by a gang of Korean punks.

WOMAN: Back of the line, tech support!

Okay, great. Now she's having a bad trip.

- Hello? VANESSA: Kumar?

I can read your mind.

Has she seen your dick? Is it bigger than mine?

...my daughter...

- Start talking. - Okay.

Tell me what is it about.

...and then stripping and meth and biker boyfriend.

...but I'm gonna squirt some lotion on your back in about...

- Baby. Then let's get to it. - Oh!

[HAROLD GRUNTS]

What do you say, GUYS?

...I have an appointment to get uncircumcised.

...How I Met Your Mother and charity work, but we'll see.

It's not humanely male?

Just walk it off.

It was like being famous...

I can't... I can't...

Stop for Daddy. Shh, shh! Please!

NEIL: It'll be tough between...

What...? What are you doing? You can't just...

When I saw what Harold did for his family tonight...

Are you celebrating a real Christmas or a faux one?!

Ha-ha-ha. So are you!

KUMAR: If I was a tree farmer...

...be able to make your party.

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

One more thing! Merry Christmas to you...

https://x.com/pettuswx/status/2000993341521932787?s=46&t=L99Z0LujD4Qah6g4texq8Q

Here's one we did for Ja Rule. Ha-ha-ha.

No. When Maria's dad...

Maybe he fucks up all the time.

HAROLD: I can't get her...

Am I missing something?

Kumar, I really need to talk to you.

Dude, you are not depriving me of this:

This is like Duvalier Dank from October.

Any luck with the tree?

Die, motherfucker!

Oh. I guess Timo...

Cool about the clothes.

Probably because they're scared.

You better watch out You better not cry

I'll be right back. I'm just gonna drop this off.

I'm so sorry. Wow.

- Did you Pledge the banister? - Check.

I don't know. Hasn't the 3D thing jumped the shark by now?

...some sort of a warm liquid. I'll spit on it.

It's an investment, really.

Really? A tree farm'?

Doesn't explain the gay thing.

I don't smoke any more.

Wall Street sucks! Wall Street sucks!

Oh, wow. And you stunned fans when you said you were gay.

What? No! Of course not. You could do both.

[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]