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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
I'm so glad that you're here, Susan.
I've never looked forward to a speech more in my life.
- I feel you. - ["How Did This Happen" playing]
[sighs] People say to me,
That's the best speech by a returning alumni I've ever heard.
What does it mean to achieve?
No, no, no, no. [shushes]
[grunts, groans]
Oh, boy. Yeah.
- But she-- she's changed. - Mm-hmm.
Don't get me wrong. Jen is a self-obsessed bitch.
Really think no one's found it after all these years?
[Jizzlord] There we go. No more penis.
[screams, grunts]
[Jizzlord] You gonna be much longer?
[student gasps]
[song ends]
I don't wanna spoil it, but don't get too attached to the moustache.
[Jizzlord] The brush.
I'm sorry. [chuckles] Please take my jumper.
♪ Oh ♪
Look, uh, Carrie, you have no idea what it's like to be me.
[all gasp]
♪ Uh-huh ♪
- Mary, I swear, I-- - Ian, I know.
♪ Smoke rings blow From across the disco ♪
[clears throat]
- [gasps] - [Mary] I don't want to fuck Susan!
[stammers] Good one. [chuckles]
- What are you doing in here? - I was having a really quiet pooh.
Smile.
The brush is very powerful.
- This is the best day of my life. [laughs] - You are such a fucking child.
- Did you break her fanny? - It was a hairline pelvic fracture.
I said, do you remember it being this small?
When I demanded Nelson Mandela be put back in prison…
Do you not think that she was a bit of a drama queen
I'm so sorry. You're just such an easy target.
[Kash] Mmm.
- What are you doing? - Andy didn't get into the Conservatoire
What the fuck! Stop.
What?