Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You chickenshit...

Someone said Garbo, I think. Oh, yeah?

Fine. Close-up on Constance.

Hey, Josie! Hey, Nana!

She'll do it for cheap.

[George] That's true.

Joe, you hear what he just said to me? Listen to this psychopath.

Camera boy! The camera boy! You saved my movie!

Hey, Count? Count? [snaps fingers]

Tony. The prop guy.

Hear what I said? Yeah, I heard.

Bob, come on! Bob! I'm gonna cut you up!

[elephant trumpeting] [all clamoring]

I always wanted to go on a movie set.

You're still the kid I met 20 years ago, you know.

You've been given a gift. Be grateful.

Jack, do something!

[door opens] [car horn honks]

Well, put the kid on it.

for your pretentious Eugene O'Neill-Henrik Ibsen jerk-offs

[cheering, chanting continue]

[tires screeching]

He's supersmart with words.

Gloria? Jack Conrad. Listen, I need some advice.

You know I can't afford to get injured, Joe.

And camera! And sound!

Ah, people want the kiss, we give them the kiss. [cork pops]

Exactly! This is how we make the money back.

Camera! Camera! Yeah.

And she has no idea it'll end like all the others.

Why would I do that if you won't be able to use it? You told me to do it quiet.

Uh, Spain. Madrid.

Every fucking casting director in the city told me

No. No, no, no, no. No. No, no.

What's he telling you? What was he saying to you?

I know it hurts.

There is no why.

We're still having a problem with the firing mechanism.

No, 18th. Thursdays are always classier.

Fine. Get the wrangler.

Because I know that you've been trying to get my career going.

We've got an eight-part sign-out process. Let me go try to find a pen.

It's 25 for the vehicle and 30 for the transport of the livestock.

It is truly an honor to meet you.

It's probably the ether. It's...

[slow jazz playing]

It's you who gives me life.

[engine off] [Manny] Do you need anything?

[audience cheering]

Stop! [pats window]

I love you, Manny.

[guest 2] I'm not surprised. She never had any talent anyway.

[crew member] And camera! [camera clattering]

when they can't see there's so much more to be done!

We were just having fun! [sobbing]

I'm at peace with that.

Scene 17, take six. Mark.

Now go over, put it in the pot. Scream like a big, fat pig.

you know what the signs on all the doors read?

You could be a star again, Nellie. Again. It's you and me.

Claire. Well, Claire's a lesbian.

Marion Davies stutters a bit. Maybe supporting roles from now on?

We'd better hurry.

[elephant groaning]

you sick fucks!

this time with the Hungarian vixen, Olga Putti.

I hate when people put fucking toppings on ice cream.

Just next time say, "The Count."

Hiya. I'm Nellie LaRoy.

Is she here tonight? Can you point her out to me? Uh...

Nellie, we did it, okay?

Let's do a title here.

I thought they were in Mexico.

Cut! [bell rings]

and then you head to the phone, do the rest of the dialogue.

Nellie! [all gasping]

Like the ladies of MGM.

Spain. Madrid. Wow.

Yes, she is lovely and very talented.

And all I do is I give and I give! Pedro!

You'll never forget it.

Yes, sir. You got a permit?

Nellie, we have to leave now!

Suck a dick, Señor Avocado.

Just one more drink for old time's sake.

Exactly! Exactly! You can be in their life.

You're trying to bury the pain.

You fucking whore! I love you.

Imagine me at the opera? That would've made Ina's folks happy.

So, we give him the bag, he calls McKay, and the threat against Nellie is off.

For the 2709. I can do that. Thirty minutes.

All right, places, everyone!

Come on. Okay, no problemo.

I meant to call you. The reds chill her out.

Nell, why don't we just... Is it okay...

Well, the girl seems nice.

Uh-huh. How'd you like to leave MGM,

Up. Up. Up. Up. Up. Up.

I can move it right now. My whole year is wide open.

[sighs] Stupid...

Okay, everyone, a reminder.

[stomach gurgling]

And that's Noah's Ark?

[Jack] This is what we've been looking for!

Would you like me to tell you?

One drink and we leave. Right after this we leave.

Well, I'd like to work with you too.

Oh, okay. Yeah, sure, I mean, if you have half an hour to spare.

It was incredible! I just... How do you do it?

It's only 2:00. Don wanted to save the elephant.

Teddy and I saw Cottage Blues last week.

there's a 10-year-old kid and he's a prodigy at all these adult things.

[The Count] Hey. [Manny] Hi.

How many movies have we done together now?

as your humble servant bears witness

[Robert] Here we go.

Hurry the fuck up!

There's no exit except down the main staircase.

He saved my life.

have him ask her name and have her reply,

No, it's not fun. Yes, it is.

It's closed. I know it's closed!

A few minutes' drive. Wilson and I can take you there and back.

Up. Up. Rest of the body doesn't move.

Yeah, it's only one, right?

[sobbing] Please be nice to me, Manny.

What are the schlongs like on Broadway? You want some?

My camera's here! My camera's here!

[gears grinding]

Manny, you're scaring me. I need another hit.

How's the guest list looking for tonight?

Yeah. I just have one question.

[sniffles, speaking Spanish]

[laughing continues]

Teachers told me I was no good. Boys told me I was no good.

[crying, speaking Spanish]

Find it on that horizon. Yeah.

and feel he knows you, like... like a friend,

[water running]

I'm not... I'm just gonna...

Ina's mom always said,

You ever been on a movie set before?

That's right. Sounds like the best party in town.

Listen, I'm not asking you to fuck him.