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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Oh.
President Orlean's Supreme Court nominee, Sheriff Conlon,
Oh, my God.
That's done.
fuck you for putting this hood on me.
- Dearest Father... - Yeah, I'm...
No politics. None.
Still hurts me to think about that.
[electricity crackling]
Isn't she the same person who told poor people
Yes. Yes, hi.
Okay, can you just tell me what this is all about? Okay?
[explosion]
[Mindy] Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh.
...discharge the duties on which I am about to enter.
That's the only question. So...
If this comet makes impact, it will have the power of a billion Hiroshima bombs.
[chuckles] Mmm...
We're gonna put you up in a hotel somewhere.
This can't be happening. No.
It's definitely happening. I've seen it.
[Mindy] That is correct.
sending pictures of your cooch to your porn-star sheriff boyfriend.
[people clamoring]
I think that's Photoshop, Kate.
then what the hell happened to us?
and virtue signaling. Just get along.
I don't understand how many more times I need to tell you...
- [Oglethorpe] Oh, I see. - [Kate laughing]
I really liked you and I despise most people.
[overlapping voices]
Call Diogo, he'll freak out. Will you say hi to my friend?
[Kate] Unless you assholes are taking me to the Batcave,
- Shouldn't we practice it or write it out? - [woman 1] Can I get you some water?
Hmm.
You're really owning that pain.
It's somewhere between six and nine kilometers across.
[clicks tongue]
[wind blowing]
[monitor beeping]
But it's all math.
And I just said, "You know what, I'm gonna smoke whenever I want to."
Hey, man.
I'm sorry. Whoa, uh...
- Hi. Hi, baby. [crying] - [Jack] He's in tears.
I'm sorry. I've got a 20-year-old daughter. I've got to go see her.
[dramatic music playing]
[kisses]
[heavy machinery whirring]
I had the exact same reaction.
me after finding out lil Tay has an Onlyfans
- I'm scared. - Hey, come on. Come on.
- What? - No.
[man] I'm doin' an 8-ball.
My grandfather invented the flash-freezing process.
where Miss Dibiasky is a doctoral candidate.
[Kate] Hmm.
[sighs] Sit.
[indistinct chatter]
What is this gonna cost me?
but not the ones that check you in and they're not the masseuses,
Dr. Randall, you sure you're okay? You want a glass of water...
Americans during an apocalypse
Uh, about two years ago, our family dog, JoJo, died,
- That's The Daily Rip, guys. - [Brie] Have a great day.
I looked you up after we met.
is optimizing our prepubescent sense memory consumer sector?
Yeah. I mean, it could've been anything, uh...
the day that some believe Comet Dibiasky will impact the planet.
♪ For slapping Harry Harry's just a mug ♪
I just have more skin pigmentation than you.
And when these... Thank you.
Our algorithms can even predict how you'll die.
You know, the ones with the elephants and the ones with the bow and arrows.
Medal of Freedom recipient and outspoken patriot, Benedict Drask,
[Kate] That's great. What's your purchase?
What's the holdup, you guys? What are you waiting on?
Really? How large?
I'm definitely gonna have some more of this apple pie. It's so good.
of a breaking emergency sort of...
Which is the outermost part of the solar system.
- About this? - Yeah, look.
and sacrifice on display here.
We're being told that several of the BEADS have exploded on launch.
[Kate] I saw something I didn't recognize.
These Just Look Uppers
It's for everyone. You know? It's a popcorn movie.
- [chuckling] Whoa! What the hell is... What? - I'm so bored. Just tell us what it is.
in the manufacture of cell phones and, uh, computers.
What? I didn't...
[Drask] ♪ Oh, Susannah Don't you cry for me ♪
Um...
[music continues playing]
- [alarm continues blaring] - [indistinct chatter]
I love you too. All right. Yeah.
Yttrium, terbium, osmium, dysprosium, on and on and on.
- [man 1] Dr. Mindy. - All right...
Right.
I got it.
Madam President, this comet is what we call a planet-killer.
What do these trillions of dollars even matter if we're all gonna die...
I will, but in all fairness, I actually paid for the house.
Uh, it's a Xanax.
The feds will claim breach of security,
Okay, uh...
- I only take a quarter. Otherwise I get... - [Oglethorpe] Ah...
Can it destroy someone's house? Is that possible?
- [Yule] Where? Uh-huh. - Well, that's the Big Dipper.
[soaring music continues]
This is a final warning to control the launchpad.
She actually said that.
we had our scientists who went to, uh, the prestigious schools of Harvard,
[whispers] What's he doing here? Is he here for us?
- Well, what is that? - Oh, shit.
One cannot help but be moved by the bravery, ingenuity,
I think this whole administration
Honestly, I think I'd just rather drink and...
I wanna talk to this person. You tell me who said the science...
Luan Loud you place the wrong house fool
Didn't break eye contact and didn't even say "excuse me."
Listen, a lot of my colleagues,
Sir, the president.
Margin of error was for two to malfunction.
So I just wanna make sure that you're...
[woman] ♪ Inside the room Dr. Doom, prepare for the boom, bam! ♪
They're right.
What?
I fucking love US history
They asked me to go on once.
- Ten apiece ought to do it. - [Mindy] Oh.
And using Gauss's method of orbital determination
that you are typing your half-witted conspiracy theories on.
- Please don't encourage him, Dr. Mindy. - That's what he's saying.
Now that we have the comet's orbit, we will check the ephemeris
- What's he got to say for himself? - I love the producers here.
♪ All long day ♪
- Holy crap! - [woman] It's clickbait material.
The general.
Was that French?
She's already been briefed.
Economic collapse, loose nukes, car exhaust killing the atmosphere.
and going out on a limb,
My little bumblebee, will you marry me?
[horns honking]
My phone just purchased DJ Chello's latest single.
[fireworks exploding]
Grow up here, okay?
Well, Comet Dibiasky, which is what it will officially be named...
I'm Dr. Oglethorpe, but you can call me Teddy.
In case you didn't notice, the White House just blew us off.
The snacks are free.
Elon gonna be eaten by a bronteroc on mars or by politician. ........a what?
An unprecedented comet, nine kilometers wide,
[Kate] I...
Dr. Mindy, the president's plan to save Earth