Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- You know where I can buy some checkers? - That's embarrassing.

His Daddy's little pee-pee started all this.

The captain has just informed me that L.A. Airport is closed due to heavy fog.

I made a mistake, I learned my lesson...

- Joe, I'm right here. Will you talk to me? - She left me. I gotta kill her.

What is it? Am I talking too much?

There's nothing that I say that I can remember.

I'm not giving you a hard time. You either move the car, or I call the police.

This isn't fucking happening! It's not happening!

This is really happening.

Now, that takes 26 weeks.

It's a water bed.

- Only at night? - Ask him.

...but, boy, is he dumb!

Please! I won't be very long.

If anything like that ever happened to us...

...I met a cute, available...

I don't know. She asked me to keep him for one night.

Didi, what was I gonna ask you?

- What's your name? - Theodore Pierce. Teddy. Ted.

You're not like Joe.

I know of this funny little place.

I'm just so tired, that's all. I just don't know if I can stay awake.

Don't want to start a fire. They landed on the lamp.

You must be joking! That's 100 feet down there.

- We never said we weren't assholes. - I said I was an asshole.

You're going on your first date to your grandmother's?

- What if I had a date? - You won't have a date.

Happy birthday to you

- Did you notice that she didn't have a bra? - What do I know, 'cause I see it every day?

Thank you, but no.

Now, listen here, Teddy bear.

He goes riding once a week in Golden Gate Park.

Crazy as it seems...

...because it's a wonderful surprise.

- He said he'd be back in just... - Jake!

Clean this up. Now I'm a cleaning man.

Guess what he saw galloping through the fog?

What a pleasant surprise.

This isn't a dream anymore.

How old is that suit?

Is it from Theresa?

Tomorrow, 6:00, Tulio's.

That's a gorgeous animal you have there.

All right! Girls, go on. I'll be there in a minute.

My mother and father are Jewish.

...the doctor says...

Finished with your drink, sir?

Surprise of surprises.

What are they, Heads?

- Want Campari and soda? - Yeah, that would be nice.

Came in with a cardigan. They wanted him to put on one of their jackets.

Horseback riding?

...at the corner of Jones Street and Clay?

The only unpleasant surprise was that in two days...

You're a silly horse!

You better hurry. They moved the meeting up 15 minutes.

I beg your pardon!

Are you afraid?

- Come on, Charlotte! - I won't be long.

- You're taking my little girl to see David Boowie? - Bowie.

Are you sure that you can't handle this by yourself, Richard?

- Is Mr. Pierce there, please? - That's it, just like that.

- He wasn't due back until Friday. - But it's only Wednesday.