Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

If anything like that ever happened to us...
This isn't fucking happening! It's not happening!
I know of this funny little place.
Are you afraid?
What is it? Am I talking too much?
Is it from Theresa?
Tomorrow, 6:00, Tulio's.
Be good.
Now, that takes 26 weeks.
Came in with a cardigan. They wanted him to put on one of their jackets.
I made a mistake, I learned my lesson...
All right! Girls, go on. I'll be there in a minute.
...because it's a wonderful surprise.
Don't want to start a fire. They landed on the lamp.
Clean this up. Now I'm a cleaning man.
- He said he'd be back in just... - Jake!
There's nothing that I say that I can remember.
It's a water bed.
- What if I had a date? - You won't have a date.
Are you sure that you can't handle this by yourself, Richard?
That's a gorgeous animal you have there.
This isn't a dream anymore.
- What's your name? - Theodore Pierce. Teddy. Ted.
Guess what he saw galloping through the fog?
- Did you notice that she didn't have a bra? - What do I know, 'cause I see it every day?
What's that?
I'm not giving you a hard time. You either move the car, or I call the police.
More sleeve.
What is this?
How old is that suit?
- You're taking my little girl to see David Boowie? - Bowie.
His Daddy's little pee-pee started all this.
The only unpleasant surprise was that in two days...
- He wasn't due back until Friday. - But it's only Wednesday.
Don't move!
You must be joking! That's 100 feet down there.
...Irving.
Crazy as it seems...
Hello?
I don't know. She asked me to keep him for one night.
The captain has just informed me that L.A. Airport is closed due to heavy fog.
I'm fine.
...the doctor says...
You're going on your first date to your grandmother's?
What a pleasant surprise.
- You know where I can buy some checkers? - That's embarrassing.
- Is Mr. Pierce there, please? - That's it, just like that.
Shelly!
Thank you, but no.
Now, listen here, Teddy bear.
You're not like Joe.
Happy birthday to you
Finished with your drink, sir?
...but, boy, is he dumb!
I'm just so tired, that's all. I just don't know if I can stay awake.
You better hurry. They moved the meeting up 15 minutes.
He goes riding once a week in Golden Gate Park.
Horseback riding?
Surprise of surprises.
What are they, Heads?
Good-bye.
- We never said we weren't assholes. - I said I was an asshole.
Didi, what was I gonna ask you?
...I met a cute, available...
...at the corner of Jones Street and Clay?
Please! I won't be very long.
- Want Campari and soda? - Yeah, that would be nice.
Good-bye.
I beg your pardon!
My mother and father are Jewish.
Is it a woman?
- Joe, I'm right here. Will you talk to me? - She left me. I gotta kill her.
Julius...
- Come on, Charlotte! - I won't be long.
You're a silly horse!
- Only at night? - Ask him.
This is really happening.