Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Howard, what are you doing? We've got four other kids here to protect.

- Sure, Howard. Christmas on a pig farm. - Jesus was born in a barn!

I want you to get in there. You stay here. You don't move.

We should have gone to my brother's.

Mom! We have to go. Now!

Honey, I'll be right back. I promise. Just lock the...

I told you we should've gone to my brother's.

- Shut the door! - Where's Beth? We heard gunshots!

- Sarah, you know... - No, Aunt Dorothy, please.

sure. No problem.

But this is my choice.

I think our best bet is to stay put.

saving my ass back there.

What were you thinking, Max? That kid was twice your size.

Yeah, no kidding. Hey, these too?

My friends seeing all my Christmas decor on Nov. 1st:

- Okay? You understand? - Mom! Mom, please!

I like snowflakes but... I like my plan a lot better!

But this Christmas was darker,

- Stevie, sweetheart. - Thanks, Mom.

We thought the sugarplum fairies may have gotten you.

Was that the chance and hope that you mentioned, Jacob?

Help! Oh, God! Help me!

I think it's panicking, trying to get outside.

I could point her due east, hit the gas AND SHE’D BE STORMING THE BEACHES AT NORMANDY BY SUNRISE.

You know what? After what you pulled, you can do that alone. And quick.

What was I supposed to do, tell her she has to spend Christmas by herself?

Honey, we said no gun talk at the dinner table.

Well, we boarded everything up.

Omi, that's beautiful.

Wait. Mom, aren't we gonna watch Charlie Brown?

in the northern territories, in Alaska, Canada.

You know, Linda and I, we butt heads, but...

But what if you've been good, like, all year?

So, what's for dinner?

When they took Howie...

She'll be yammering about a rabid easter bunny come spring.

Don't work too hard, though. Sarah bought a bunch of cookies at the store.

I Know When Life Is Coming At You With His Pants Down

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Go!

in the darkness of a howling blizzard,

I just wanna say thanks for... you know,

- Beth! - Help me!

I don't know, honey. Democrats, probably.

when life is coming at you with his pants down.

- That's what a family is, Max. - Nothing bad's gonna happen on Christmas.

And if it's empty, we'll try the police station.

I don't know. Mom, what are you talking about?

- after Max's noodle incident. - After his what?

Are we gonna die?

That's a good girl.

Not mine. Must be from the boys in Brown.

- It's the truth! - Honey...

thinking you're such a spineless dick all these years.