Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

— Hey. - Hi.
—Okay, 15 minutes. —|‘m late. This is becoming a bad habit.
but that’s what we lived for: to push the envelope.
— Not bad, right? — Ouch.
until you learn to put a little faith in other people.
Uh, as it—— as it turns out,jake‘s a rabbi.
[Phone Ringing]
— It‘s not an issue for me. It‘s really not. — [ Sighs]
I almost didn‘t ‘cause I was so mad at you.
Mrs. Katz likes to sing "Ein Keloheinu" the way she knows it.
how much you want something exactly like this to happen to you, and when it comes,
— Hey, don‘t put this all on me. —Why, why?
— It‘s an ”almost“ stroke. — And what does that mean? What are we talking about?
— Anybody Steve Posner. — Sexual perversion.
Reilly .7 L et me guess: She became a nun .7
Look, maybe you‘re right, but can‘t you see that you‘re asking me...
Mmdoywmcll?
As much griefas I givejake, I think you‘re all doing it the right way.
Jesus, what happened?
I‘m not gonna talk about the meaning ofGod...
Now you guys get the dishes, and the ladies will talk.
Ithinkyou will find, Rabbi Schram, that this princess is no pushover.
J So though we cannot knowJ
Man, I was really starting to think I had a few things figured out there.
— I‘m sorry, I didn‘t mean to call you so late. — No, it’s fine, it’s fine.
—Yeah, I know, I know. No, I know. — No, you don‘t know.
I don‘t need a chaperone. Ijust need some help. Come on. Guys, please?
— So, it was a pleasure. — It was nice to meet you.
J Will turn into the goldJ
[Sighs] Oh, excuse me. I just got a little warm there.
I do shots.
— Okay. You let me know. — I will, I will.
— Made me a star. — So, how long have you two been together?
JJ[ Humming]
I don‘t thinkthere‘s room in it for what I‘ve spiritually committed to.
Oh, my God, you look so beautiful together.
—PeterJennings would be at the wedding. —Hey, speaking ofin—laws,
but when the three of us were together, it felt like we were livin’ on our own little island
I‘m saying, you know, you‘re—— I just thinkyou‘d want to do something about it.
No, you‘re not. It wasjust an impulse.
What happened?
neither of us is in a position to say what the other one does or does not do...
I order dessert, she says she doesn‘t want any. I get pecan pie.
[Anna] Remember the names ofsome ofthose kids we went to school with?
Excuse me.
Okay, yes, you are, you are, but you‘re our workaholic, and we‘re very proud ofyou.
there‘s not been a bachelor head rabbi at B‘Nai Ezra since the beginning ofthe synagogue.
Hello ? Pick up the phone.
because I have a very early conference call.
I mean, come on, sometimes that‘s not enough.
— [Whimpering] — Despite these early setbacks, we eventually found our groo ve.
—Yes, I am. —Yeah, me too.
—I don‘t understand. — Basically, I‘m like a plumber, except I fix leaky corporations.
To be serenaded by the Harlem freaking Gospel Choir?
It‘s a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all,
[Praying In Hebrew, Voice Cracking]
You‘re telling me that I should‘ve been sensitive to the possibility...
Because now I can retire. [Sniffs]
I‘m not gonna do that tonight.
J /f e verythin ’ glitterin ’J
J /’m runnin’ down the one—night standsJJ
worth ofsermons into one kind of big ” best ofi‘ sermon.
What are you wasting your time with an old friend when Emma Gerber...
She put God on the speed dial. I called it, it was the Elvis Presley Museum.
And, when lovers bore, which they will, sublimate.
— I didn‘t pull her into my bed. She pulled me into hers. — I don‘t believe that!
— Good. — It‘s so obvious you‘re thinking about her.
I got something foryou.
-Well-- — I don‘t thinkI could take it.
— Fourteen and a halfminutes. Please? — I have to go back to the mines.
JAbout a hopeless romanticJ
’cause, well, it was sort of one of those defining moments.
It wouldn‘t hurt you to call her, because her family is very wealthy.
— You know, ifthey—— —That‘s fine. I understand. I mean, when the beeper beeps.
Oh, my God, are there nuts in this?
— [Door Opens, Closes] - [ Cryi ng ]
You know? Plus,there‘s the whole thing about me being single.
So talk, vent ! Come on, vent! Go ahead, vent!
— Yes. Well, they‘re heavily supervised. — It looks really good though.
These tapes are my life. Exercise is like a religion to me.
Okay, how much does it cost exactly?
J You get what you get when you go for itJ
— well, you see the one on the right? — Mm—hmm.
He can only offer himselfas a guide to other fearful people.
,‘ /just know there’s got to be more;
— Feels good. — God. You know,
No! No, no, no, I am. I‘m just—I‘m just——
I have been violating that trust.
Come on, come on. Yes ?
In most ways, we were like any other two kids in New York,
J Kept it from you forso longJ
— You‘re too precious to be on the open market. — That‘s what I try to tell them.
Oh ! Tuesdays with Morrie. I love that book.
/ didn ’t go into explicit detail, but she knows we weren ’t holding hands.
— Give me 20 minutes. Come on. —Twenty minutes?
,‘ But what/ want to see,‘
This is Brian, by the way, in case you were wondering
,‘ ’Cause we fight like cats and dogs;
— Seriously, /really wanna talk to you, okay .7 Bye. — [Machine Beeps]
Okay Well, if those results are correct, then /sa y we have a deal.
It‘s totally great. It‘s so fine.
His father was a diplomat. He was always saying he couldn‘t get a parking ticket...
— You‘ve been doin‘ great. We‘ve been totally impressed. — You look so hot in your suit.
Got it, got it,
/ ’d like to talk about us.
Look, I have it right here in front ofme, and it‘s not right.