Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

We should have done that reality show... the Thomsons.
What's the matter with ME? what do I always end up having to beg people to love?
Oh, God. Really?
- Give him whatever he wants! - It's four times what we paid what's-his-name!
...but in the real world, where it counts, you're a fucking fraud!
Call 911!
You see?
He was right, though.
What? Hey, what?
that all say the same thing. I didn't know him.
- That's not true. - I know, but did you do it?
Okay.
I know. And you believed me.
Get a better one. Have some self-respect. Please.
- Or not. - Ouch!
Dude. Seriously?
Anybody.
Give me a minute.
Cut it out! I'm serious, Mike.
Could have been anybody, I guess.
No. It was how he tried to make up for it...
What is wrong with you? He tried to...
Then we should ask her to leave.
Is it bad? Did you even see it? Let me read it.
Okay. I was just....
So I'm going to work with the chicken.
- She brought me down. - And stayed?
The truth is always interesting.
I can tell, because you... I just want to give you a range.
Why would you do that?! We were onstage!
I pretend just about every place else, but not out there.
Oh, shit!
- What are you doing? - Posting a photo of you on your Twitter page.
That's amazing. You don't look anything like each other. What do you do?
The point is, you don't know the guy. We fucking get it.
Okay, well, I just wanted to say that.
I think it's really happening.
Just find me someone.
About being humiliated out there!
Are you okay? You seem....
I'm not even here.
- Are you excited? - Yeah.
I got that coconut water you wanted.
It's good. It's great.
...and dive back into that cultural genocide you guys perpetrate.
I don't know... what do you think, boss? You want to do this with me?
I just sat there. They're crying, I sit there.
It's actually going well.
This is what I do. You wrote this adaptation?
Why?
Wow. So what has to happen in a person's life for them to become a critic, anyway?
- Almost there, buddy. Last preview. - Okay. Cool.
Not because I didn't love Nick, and not because I didn't love the idea of it, but because...
Listen, what I said...
That's pot. Relax.
Can we not get hung up on knowing lines? Can we just work on this? Tear it apart?
Birdman!
Yeah.
Tell me something.
I know where to go.
Come here. Come here.
How do you suppose I do that? How...
Crazy, druggy, wise-ass daughter, milf-y wife with perky tits.
- Come on, what? - You're drunk.
You were really good, cabrón.
Why must actors have to resort to this?
You're the original. You paved the way for these other clowns.
Riggan, they're ready for you.
Handsome.
You wrote a few changes and mumbled, you self-absorbed prick.
Okay, I don't even know what the fuck that means.
Eddie, please, give me the gun.
It means, my reputation is riding on this, and that's worth a, a....
Leave her alone. If you're not drunk, don't talk like you are.
Nobody? My massive hard-on got 50,000 views on YouTube.
That's fucking horrible, man. I'm sorry.
I was up to my chest when I felt the first one.
Popular? I don't give a shit.
Measuring your worth in weekends?
And he told me it was because he couldn't see her...
I'd pull your eyes out of your head...