Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Freeze, Mrs. Dubois!

Part of the fun of Halloween is its ways of teaching us life lessons.

I lost my hair 20 years ago,

Your call has been forwarded to an automated...

Hubie Halloween

- Our kids are so creative. - They are amazing. Mmm!

Think you've been watching too many scary movies, Louise.

Have fun, Pubes.

Ah, Officer Steve. You always had it going on.

And I know he would get a great chuckle out of this.

Oh, you fostering this mumbling zombie now, too?

Oh, yeah, I don't have any kids. As far as I know.

- Officer Steve! - I'm sorry, buddy.

His shirt was torn up. He was barking at the moon.

PUT ME IN COACH

I feel like you're the second most frequent caller we get.

Right between…

Who is nice and kind to 'em and makes them feel loved.

but most especially in Salem, America's unofficial Halloween capital.

What is it, Sergeant?

Nothing broken, physically speaking.

Walter Lambert. Seemed like good people.

But there's a situation going on here!

Please hate Sausage Party (2016), Escape from Planet Earth (2013), Planet 51 (2009), A Serbian Film (2010) These movies are so annoying and disgusting and overrated like Cuties (2020)

Mrs. Phillips, I'll be with you in a minute.

I heard some odd noises when I was walking by.

It pisses me off.

Hasn't had any sex.

It's not even dark yet here in Salem,

I dropped out three years ago. Shut up.

"Best looking."

So, Violet Valentine.

Not sure what's happening in this creepy town,

It's fun working with you, always.

But what he does have is hope.

- Untie us, now! - Are you paying attention?

A question. How would I go about getting the information to you?

She's not answering.

Why, yes, Hubie. Why wouldn't I be?

- He was my... - You be quiet, too. You next.

Maybe sometime you and I could possibly…

But I guess that's why you're a hero.

I don't know his name. The goofy idiot from the supermarket deli.

You're the best person I know.

- Right, baby? - Yes, we do. Oh!

Good night. Please keep the fishnets for fishing next year.

And it's gonna be a great day in Salem. Right, Jenna Thomas?

Megan McNally, you like underclassmen?

Just do your job. No breaks on Halloween.

Hubie, how long have you lived in Salem?

Mr. Lambert! Get over here!

It's Sunday, dumb-ass.

- Just hang up your phone. - Please stop.

You know, age is just a state of mind.

It's been your favorite holiday since you were knee-high.

Are you here to protect me from this weirdo man that's trying to hit on me?

Never mind that. Cop a squat.

Here she comes.

Could you possibly point me in the direction of this strange vehicle?

All right. Let's go see if we can get ourselves a confession.

Yeah, but you know what? I hope he comes looking for me.

And all the candy that was part of the tower before it collapsed,

That was so terrifying!

Your tombstone says that you have yet to die.

PUT ME IN COACH

Ouch. That even hurt me.

It's a shame what they've done to your lawn!

But I happen to be an excellent listener if you want to, you know,

You mean in human years?

I swear to God, if you jump out of one of these bushes,

Somebody put a firecracker in my mail slot.

You hear this? Can I borrow your gun?

I don't know. That sounds like a big boner.

Scientists would call him a lyco-thorpe.

- Bitch used a burner. - Mm-hmm.

When he gets here, I'll handle the scaring.

You are cursed!

It's not a costume.

- Good to wash off the dirt. - Here, let me help you.

I would never hurt you.

- Have you? - I...

I think I saw a little kid get lost in the Corn Maze.

Move quickly and quietly toward the exits.

Oh, I see you in the hallways

Anyway, you take care, Hubie. All right?