Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What if I wanted him to be more than just my friend?

(INHALES DEEPLY)

I shouldn't be d riving.

The one about not being good enough for you?

I brought pizza.

You're wrong about what happens after you die.

You're an awful writer, assigned to an awful century.

And I'm just waiting for that mansion, you know?

You look awful.

But I'm saying, it doesn't have to be, just by...

Is there only one place you go when you die?

Talk to you later.

It's hard to describe.

She still doesn't fully understand how I said or did all those things.

and I'll probably have three more drinks by the end of the night.

-Because I have plans later. -There's a few...

-But everyone knows that you are. -Hasn't happened yet.

Losers are losers. That's all they'll ever be.

Why are you here?

I'm Bob: I work for Coke. And I'm asking you to not stop buying Coke.

Did you buy new clothes?

But later on in the story, his luck's gonna change

and I'll probably never hear from you again, but...

CROUPIER: Congratulations, sir.

And you see the world in a way that nobody else sees the world,

Today I was handed a very impressive promotion.

Who says your kids will be better than mine?

I feel like when I set the price up higher, it takes it out of the realm of petty crime

MALE NARRATOR: Coming soon from Lecture Films,

Yes, I do. I could walk out that door now.

-That feels better. -Good.

Oh, and I think I'm getting fired today. How about you?

because Mark's in love with you and I enjoy watching him fail.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

-He's not happy. -Well, how do you know?

-Your name is Doug? -Hi, Doug.

I'm gonna say that, judging by the look of this car,

Think of the children! Think of the little babies.

in my situation.

-Uh, no, I kind of gave up on that. -Why?

-But, I mean, you know... -It's too bad.

You probably sat on the remote and changed the channel again.

Because she's happy with me.

But all of that was interrupted when a giant, flying spaceship

I'm Mark. How are you?

-The rent's 800. -I know. I haven't got that.

Coke's very high in sugar, and like any high-calorie soda,

What about if you forget to feed your dog?

I would touch girls' boobs.

Hold the elevator.

Morning, Shelley.

Changed the can around a little bit, though.

Will they have their own mansions?

It's the way of the world, Mark.

There's a very good chance you'll lose all this money here tonight.

You can see the colours are different there,

What's this place called?

Yeah, you have, look.

when you die, all the people you love will be there.

He lives higher than the clouds, too high to see him.

If I gave you my number, would you call me?

Unfortunately, none of that changes the fact

-What about being late for work? -Mark: No, that's...

I've got to keep my mouth shut from now on. Why did I...

-What, you told other people you hated me? -Yeah.

We've been through so much together.

It will be the best screen play ever written by anyone.

And all of the survivors of the Great Ninja War

Anything at all?

Man in the sky forbid.

I was thinking.

Let's go to the editing bay, where we can watch them put the final touches

(Crowd Laughing)

MALE REPORTER: In London, England, they wait.

-Yes. -Did he capsize the boat?

and no expense would be spared.

Because it would make me happy.

Yeah, that guy's evil!

(STUTTERING) It is, it is.

But you'll always be a loser.

You've got two options. Option one, I send the police to your house, right?

I'm sure it's the drink you've been drinking for years

Or just even better paper.

Each day is worse than the last.

I'm gonna think about this later.

You get three chances.

I'll let you work.

and brought the robot dinosaur to its knees, saving Mars, Earth

I know I'm in my 40s,

We both know that one day you're going to lose your looks.