Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

No, I came to say good bye to you,

If the dog dies, it's bad, but it's not... I mean, don't do it on purpose.

Mum, listen to me.

Tell me something about your family. I don't know that much about you.

Can I get a discount on a ten-speed?

Did you want large bills or small?

Where will you go?

The world's gonna end unless we have sex right now!

That doesn't sound like a happy life. That sounds like a long, miserable one.

-Why can't we be together, then? -Because of the whole genetics thing.

Tell them it's for kids.

I mean, you might lose your job if the boss doesn't like it,

but also the thought of sleeping with you sickens me.

If you could make the world the way you wanted it to be,

just because you come from a more privileged family

Well, you're stupid.

Do we have time to get to a motel, or do we need to do it right here?

Well, I was gonna rob your house.

I just don't want to go in there today. I just don't, you know?

I'll have the fish tacos 'cause it's what I had last time I was here.

Oh, then go right in.

You did admit yourself that, you know, we got on.

based on your looks, your financial situation and your position in life,

You're getting paid for it, so let's take the message in case I don't get...

We have to have sex right now!

Well, I'm not gonna do it now because you're in.

That's why I came over here, actually. I wanted to give you this invitation.

and successful and famous changed your genetics,

Oh, and Shelley thinks you're an overweight homosexual.

I'm gonna send that bottle back.

Oh, I... I want to date her... I want a second date.

We'll have two beers, and we'll take them over there at the roulette table.

BOB: (ON RADIO) Thanks for that, Jim. Next up, Mark Bellison.

until one day, a great writer by the name of Mark Bellison

In Rome, Italy, they wait. In New York City, they wait.

I think she's probably checking on the date. It won't take long.

MAN: (ON TV)...first used roughly 4,000 years ago on Celtic chariots,

Ne çirkin bebek

-Huh? -... if you slept with me on the first date.

but sometimes you spend your day in bed, eating and crying.

Mark: Today, I stumbled upon something that no man has ever stumbled on before.

I just need to get... I know, I'm sorry. Pardon me. Pardon me, please.

Gervais: So if you're a chubby, little loser like this guy, for example,

Come on, let's up the stakes a little bit. Come on.

Mark: He spent the last years of his life in jail.

No. Sorry, can we just meet up? It'd be best.

You haven't lost yet, man.

What are you doing here?

-Anna. -You are so handsome.

I had a better time than I thought I'd have.

But, you know, it's more than that.

It's the 1300s. What am I meant to write about?

I love you, Mark.

Oh, yeah. That's pretty much off the chart. You're drunk.

if you do bad things, you won't get to go to this great place when you die.

You're almost definitely getting fired.

You are so much more than just short and fat.

She's a prize on your arm. And your kids will be, too.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

I'm so scared, Mark.

Mark, how's it going?

Taking their stuff, doing things to people they don't want done,

I'd get all the money.

I'm gonna get a snack. Do you want a snack?

Well, that's fine. They'll leave their mansion. They'll come and live with you, won't they?

It says here that you only have $300 in your account,

Hey, you're Mark Bellison.

when he tells the world's first lie.

(Exclaiming GLEEFULLY)

Does he have my genetics? My confidence? My charisma?

Did you come to beg for your job back?

He's also taller.

I mean, I don't think you have the choice to keep it in.

It doesn't. O u r kids would be little fat things with snub noses.

MALE NARRATOR.....proudly presents The Industrial Revolution.

-Brad Kessler. -Brad Kessler?

Don't blow this.

that their genetic match-up will be most likely to produce favourable offspring

Okay. Let's try that.

And I lean over and just turn it off.

Because I love you.

-Yeah. -ASSISTANT: Okay.

but it won't affect what happens to you after you die.

Not only am I the head writer of the coveted first century,

I don't have a lot of hope for you either, but I wish you good luck.

-Hi. -Are you here to abandon an elderly person?

and they shouldn't expect their calls returned,

What else would you do? If you could do anything.

Are you still lonely? Have you found someone yet?

They're saying you know something different about what happens after you die.

It's Monday at noon. You're not supposed to be at home now.

You know what I think of him. I think he is the world's biggest douche bag.