Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Johann Gambolputty

-Send her a letter. Out! -Get your hands off me, man.

-Always. -And a woman will be impressed,

You ought to know better than to come to a bartender for advice.

(POP SONG PLAYING)

and her tennis coach.

-It better! -(ALL LAUGHING)

I hope you're not suggesting that you'll marry her.

Drink or be gone.

(UPBEAT REGGAE SONG PLAYING)

(SINGING) I got the hippie hippie shake

It doesn't make you a bad person.

-Proctologist's dream. -What?

I don't know, you looking for anotherjob?

this is just a part-time gig for me.

(DOUG CHUCKLING)

See if there's a white circle from her wedding band.

I bet I can still spook you.

-Now come on. -I'm not going to make it.

How will I ever know that you're being honest with me?

It has been an adventure. (CHUCKLING)

-Will she be all right? -Yeah, she'll be okay.

The Death Spasm

I'll take one of those orange things.

I was worth so little to you

But you can't do it now, can you?

And blew the fucking lot.

-BRIAN: Good evening, Henry. -Hey!

Jesus, everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end.

-He killed himself. -Brian!

-Good afternoon, Miss Mooney. -Hi.

I don't deserve it.

What's the matter?

You wrack your brains day and night to come up with a moneymaking scheme

and he doesn't even rate a beer on the house?

I make drinks so sweet and snazzy

So, is this one-night stand time?

One of my rum specialties, perhaps?

-We need solid credentials. -A marketing degree is a prerequisite.

Blue shirt, fifth row, wake up!

I am the world's last barman poet.

Did you say you'd like to see the specials, sir?

yes boing boing two trolleys yes boing george and me grandmom's got listeria and she's 333 years old! boing boing with that parkinson's boing dear boing! yes faye boing retirement yes boing boing yes cinebuzz boing yes gone cankles at 827 years old! you're divorced!

A guy who gets an erection on his birthday if the wind is right.

Fetch, Krabinu, fetch!

-Is that all your daughter's worth? -How much will it take?

You can still go out and make a million. Don't worry.

-Waiting. -You think so?

She's got millions.

You don't get rich giving things away.

-What the hell's this? -That's for you.

Kinda makes you curious, don't it?

Positive thinking!

You'd have to get over on her,

$50 says you don't even make it over the bar.

I guess that's what you learned in college, right?

Coughlin's law?

-I've come to see her. -She's not here.

Come on, we could make a fortune.

get “fuck me” tattooed on our foreheads

You wanna wait three years?

WOMAN ON TV: Wake up! On your feet, come on!

WOMAN 3: Pink Squirrel.

You stand in this bar and be struck by lightning.

(MIXER WHIRRING)

You look like a guy who dyes his hair and shaves with a Brillo pad.

Put him in a room full of women

Give him a minute. You'll love him. All women do.

God knows I've tried to beat that instinct out of him,

I want to go home.

Yes, but how is a bartender going to get his hands on any of it?

lies the greatest concentration of wealth in the world.

Mighty Casey has struck out.

Just because he gets lucky with a rich chick...