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[murmur]
couldn't even do this right. Who knows?
but at his funeral she said,
All three of us were drowning, and we didn't know how to save each other,
Maybe she hoped one day someone would say that about her.
Which is pretty shitty because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her,
I mean, you know, obviously it's not like there's a wait list for dying.
because I don't have a good reason to be doing shitty.
"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now."
she was looking past me. There was nobody else in the room.
That's the good that comes from wanting things."
Kfir Bibas is dead, and everything is worse now.
Or maybe she'd think it was funny that her idiot son
Even now, I find myself waiting.
so, seriously, if you wanted me to sit down
Mom?
When you're a kid, you convince yourself
Olivia's mother had a relapse and had to go back to rehab,
So, I stopped at a Jack in the Box, on the way here,
My dad died about ten years ago of injuries he sustained during a duel.
I don't even know what morning means anymore.
She was just reading a sign.
but there is nothing more realistic than that.
Well. No point beating a dead horse.
Anyway, we did this one season finale, where Olivia's birth mother comes to town.
[inhales]
Any one of us could get run over by a Snapchatting teen at any moment.
and my mother, Beatrice Horseman?
Beatrice Horseman was born in 1938,
It was written by my friend Herb Kazzaz, who's also dead now,
Would you just... Dial it back, all right?
But when this girl at the Jack in the Box asked me if I was having an awesome day,