Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Can't you see why everybody from my high school stays in this town?

I embarrassed myself in front of your family,

OLDER TED; So, that was Thanksgiving 2005,

But this is an American holiday.

And we grew to the proper size, and then we stopped.

I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment.

- I'm just... - Just promise!

You know where he hasn't been? To heaven with Samantha.

Oh, no, dear. Sixteen cups. Mayo's in that cabinet.

- I'm Amber. - I'm Ted.

Hey, Barney's not gonna get all the glory today.

Bask-ice-ball? Not ice-ket-ball?

- just tell me, I'll do it. - Ted, I'm glad you asked.

Remember when I said I'd find you a girlfriend?

- You can't fire a volunteer. - Apparently you can.

one pregnancy test.

Yeah, you were sitting pretty, till I whacked you with that mallet.

Home. Yeah, we get so much extra food, no one can eat it all.

You wanna scoop stuffing your first day out?

This was day six,

Thanksgiving in a strip club. Who's in?

Do you have everything you need? Toothbrush, pajamas, underpants?

Well, sure, in St. Cloud,

I peed in an alley, which happened to have a church,