Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

(IN DISTORTED VOICE) Bye-bye.
Lou, if I was going to fuckin' kill you, I wouldn't use a gun, okay?
Wait, why are you alive?
You look exactly like a butler.
I've been in it for, like, three days, and it's really loud.
So come on, it's a party, right?
Did you just say high five instead of high-fiving?
You’re a fucking nerd
Okay. I love you.
Look at your dad.
Wait... Hey, hey, Lou, what do you think about,
we're here to stop his future murder.
Okay.
You’re a nerd
I do appreciate you.
I promise you,
Oh, this room is so much better than the other room.
Uh, Mr. Dorchen, could we get this board meeting started?
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
(LAUGHS)
And our son, consequently.
I like that. Okay.
You want me to do the dance?
LOU: Right, right, right, right. Okay.
(LOU SIGHS)
Ten fucking years! It was a bitch to make, dude!
Give me the nitrotrinadium, Brad! Give me the fuckin' nitro!
Hmm? Mmm...
I knew it.
- (PHONE BEEPING) - Hello.
- It feels so personal. - Mmm.
You guys should absolutely come to my wedding.
Whoa.
I don't wanna go to your sister's either.
Come on.
This is my favorite part!
Boobs
Ah, here we go! Here we go!
- The fuck? - Yeah, seriously.
to have my father at the wedding.
(CHUCKLES)
You're a fucking nerd
Be very careful, it's my only one. I only trust you with it.
What's going on? Lou!
Shoot him? (LAUGHS)
We've grown quite a bit over the years, haven't we?
plenty of truths and more than one dare!
Oh, hell, no!
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
It's like you shoved a fucking Buick up my butt.
- Wait, are you married? - Yeah. Well...
Ha! Ah!
Who's a nerd now, motherfuckers, huh?
and asking it to love me.
Um, hmm...
(SCREAMING)
Not a lot of coats, right? Not a lot of coats.
that happens to be in a playground.
Penis Court is now in session!
- Oh. - GARY: Stick it right there.
MAN 2: Swallow a watch!
No, we gotta find Brad.
- So you're the butler. - No! (SCOFFS)
I just want you to know that despite what I said before,
Thank you, Jacob, for making sure we don't starve to death.
Shit! What's Happening?!
when your dad gave me the idea for it 10 years ago.
Hey, Nick, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick.
me when
Still haven't found my killer, and there's a car trying to run me down.
As your head of R&D, I have to tell you
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
No.
(CHUCKLES)
Didn't you see the cocaine? Look, look, look.
But we went 10 years in the fuckin' future.
Ten years of my life.
and you attach yourself and you just fuck 'em all up.
Just like I copyrighted the word well,
Anyway, do you guys want some fresh clothes?
is this toxic power couple named you and me.
How about a fucking spoiler alert?
It's been a minute.
Boom! Shotgun to the dick! (GRUNTS)
As a joke! As a joke!
part of the scale.
I mean, the way the sun is just dancing off these leaves...
If they're not gonna say it, I will.
For your information, today I recorded an original piece.
We found our mini-cake bites.
ALL: Celebrity Choozy Doozy!
(GASPS)
Mr. Webber.
- How does it work? - This!
It's more like a lie.
NICK: We gotta go back to the past to save the future.
Okay, shut up. I'm at Choozy Doozy.
you're not gonna like this.
I bet there's not a person in this room who,
I'm Adam Yates Stedmeyer.
(SIGHS) She's one of the good ones, man.
Think that'll hold you till later?
Oh, the other thing.
I'm going to kill you before you can kill me again!
- (CHUCKLES) - Guilty.
but now I'm Zero Under Fuck Me!
You need a car, one shows up.
which means that here, in the future,
(BOTH LAUGHING)
I'm sorry.
that everything that you've experienced and said up to this point is just a fraud?
Goddamn, it's good to see you, man.
Hey, listen.
Really?
I don't think you hear me at all.
(BELL TOLLING)
(IMITATES COCKING SHOTGUN)
From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York.com,
Maybe it's a lead. It's a fun lead.
Well, if it's a Shitty Parent's Handbook,
- Hey, Adam... - Yeah.
Why are you alive? We're in the future.
Yes, yes, yes, yes! Come on!
You're not smart! You're just a car!
I'd like to help him.
The nanobots are attacking the narcotics.
and a murder mystery? Yes, of course it does.
Because those are both just hypothetical future scenarios.
With predestiny, it dictates
don't take a shit in a sandbox
BOTH: Hot tub time machine.
Or we don't have to do any of that
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Hmm. Son!
JACOB: So there are no more sex taboos?
Why are you more handsome?
That's... Who would do that?
then you tell them to go fuck themselves.
- What? - I'm walking.
- Stop! - (NICK AND JACOB GASP)
will you just keep an eye on him?
Yeah, what the fuck?
You okay, buddy?
LOU: You look like an egg gave birth to another egg.
It was really stressful. I'm exhausted.
Why aren't you fucking that doggie?
A little help here.
- You're my best choice. - You're my best choice.
Oh, I should shave this, right?
Oh, this is some stupid shit.
He's really got to fix his privacy settings.
peeking its dick around a corner, snatch it!
Or we can just go to a strip club. (GASPS)
- That is the one. - (SIGHS)