Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

IF YOU HAVE TO. THIS IS THE 75th-ANNIVERSARY ISSUE.
OH, MORNING, SUGAR. YOU GUYS LOOK TERRIFIC.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK ON THE FRANKLIN WITH PARIS.
OKAY.
TODAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I FOUND A DANCE PARTNER.
YOU SEE, ONCE AGAIN,
PALE DOES NOT MEAN MAD COW DISEASE.
Lorelai: MMM...NO. WHY NOT?
THE ONLY THING HE DOES HAVE IN HIS WHOLE LONELY, PATHETIC EXISTENCE IS THIS MARATHON.
SCORE! I KNOW. I AM COMPLETELY JAZZED.
YOU'RE LIGHT -- EASY TO HOLD UP WHEN YOU GET TIRED.
OKAY, YES, I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THEM,
AND SHE THINKS I LOOK LIKE ELIZABETH TAYLOR,
FLIP ALL YOU WANT, PAL. THIS AIN'T THE OLYMPICS.
I WONDER WHO HE'S DANCING WITH.
MA'AM.
EVERYBODY, GRAB YOUR PARTNERS.
YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO
LOOK, I'LL BE BACK IN 10 MINUTES.
YOU WOULD KICK TINY TIM'S CRUTCH OUT FROM UNDER HIM, WOULDN'T YOU?
LAST YEAR WAS THE 74th-ANNIVERSARY ISSUE OF THE FRANKLIN.
[ SNIFFS ] HELLO!
STANLEY APPLEMAN.
I'M QUITTING THE CONTEST!
[ SIGHS ]
I KNOW. I HEARD YOU ALREADY. FIND A PIRATE TO SIT ON.
WHAT BETTER TO HELP YOU STAY UP THAN A CUP OF STRONG COFFEE?
OW! YOU OKAY?
ONE OF YOU IS SUPPOSED TO STAY HERE -- H-HEY!
I'M GOING HOME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT.
TAYLOR! WAKE UP! IT'S OVER!
OF THE TOURING COMPANY OF "RIVERDANCE."
KIRK, HOWEVER, IS GONNA BE CRYING LIKE A LITTLE, TEENY GIRL.
JUST BECAUSE I AGREED TO POSTPONE A NEWSPAPER SESSION DOES IN NO WAY --
FOLLOW ME.
CONTRARY TO YOUR BELIEF, THERE ARE THINGS IN LIFE
NOTHING SAYS COFFEE LIKE 6:00 IN THE MORNING.
WILL BE YOU AND ME INSTEAD OF KIRK.
THEY'RE OUT!
ACTUALLY, IT'S -- IT'S NOT BAD AT ALL.
SEE? FUN! AND NO ONE'S EVEN THROWN UP YET.
IF SHE SAYS "YES," THEN I WILL DANCE WITH YOU.
HOW DID YOUR WIFE GET A PICTURE OF ME, STANLEY?
I CAN'T. THIS ISN'T LIKE THE BOWL HIS MOTHER GAVE.
WE COULD MOVE THIS SATURDAY'S FRANKLIN THING
OUR TOWN IS HAVING A DANCE MARATHON THIS WEEKEND.
HAVE YOU EVER HAD MAD COW DISEASE?
WE HAD OUR CHECKUP, SO HE'S GONNA SIGN US IN AND SCOPE OUT A GOOD SPOT.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT -- TO B.A. HISTORY?
WE'RE NOT RAISING MONEY TO RESTORE THE BRIDGE. WE'RE NOT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WELL, I WAS JUST --
I CAN TELL. SO HOW'S IT GOING?
OKAY. WELL, UH...
* OH, OH, OH *
I MEAN, GIRLS LIKE SHANE -- WHAT IS IT WITH THEM?
NO, HE'S NOT.
IT MAKES ME WANNA RATION SUGAR. WHERE'S JACKSON?
IF WE'RE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO NEED A TARP.
I ACTUALLY NEED TO SIT DOWN.
HOW MUCH LONGER? OH, CHIN UP, SOLDIER.
I TOLD HIM TO CALL ME IF THERE WAS ANY TROUBLE.
THANK YOU.
THE COVER WAS OF A DEEP-FRIED MARS BAR.
YOU'RE ASKING ME TO DONATE FREE COFFEE TO HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
DO NOT LET HER STOP OR LAY DOWN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
I VOTED THAT SHE ACTUALLY SAY SOMETHING.
I WISH I COULD BRING THEM BY,
YOU DIDN'T WANNA USE IT? I WAS STARTING CLASSES.
THAT'S OKAY. THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE.
THE LAST COUPLE LEFT STANDING GETS A TROPHY.
IN THE ONE TINY, SHORT CONVERSATION WE HAD...
SECURITY!