Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Get some sleep, Dad.

It's been an honor.

- You're so messed up. - Yeah?

It's your birthday

I called her, but she didn't call me back. She sent me a text.

I'm not an affectionate person.

Oh, she wants the dick.

- We're having sex. - I know.

No. Things were getting too intense, so we decided not to see each other

Have fun at the wedding, and tell your sister congratulations.

- He's so old. - Yeah. He's getting older.

But, yeah. That's why I hate planes.

So, what's up with not calling me back?

Ohio? No, you can't.

This is a gift right now.

You have no idea, the stories that I could tell you.

They're the best. I love them. I'm super straight, though.

- What? - "What?" Let me ask you.

- Hey. I'm Sam. - We work together at the hospital.

This Friday is Valentine's Day.

No, we don't need her. Make her leave.

Christmas. I ran into her at a party.

No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who's come to your house uninvited.

and our favorite TV shows.

With nothing else? Just "H-i"?

What? Why? You don't even know me.

No, but that was you, and it felt poignant

because you started taking off all your clothes.

But I'm telling you, be hurt.

I'm mean. But you're fucking crazy.

I may have to kill this dog. I just haven't decided how.

Wait. Can we talk about something else? Like, literally, anything else?

Hey, you think when he's busting a nut,

Do you think you can get used to it?

- What do they call it? - Coxswain.

- You know this is never gonna work. - Why not?

I'm gonna get the bill. I'll pay for it.

- 'Cause of the carbon footprint. - Yeah.

This is a frat party.

Yeah, she's crazy hot, Adam. She's like a sexy scientist.

When his tongue game be weak BHCMD

That's not good.

No, Adam, I don't. I think he wants to fuck her in his Prius.

I should head out.

I just wanted to follow up that text with a phone call.

- Yep. - Let me just...

- This is amazing. - Yeah.

It's just no one is as...

I should probably get ready now. I don't want to be late.

- I don't know about "babe." - No?

You can just get it.

You texted me that it was an emergency,

- I'm assuming that's a good thing? - You make my heart skip a beat.

I am following your instructions diligently.

What's going on?

it's hard, you know? Sometimes I laugh.

Are you trying to get rid of us?

Knowing that... my own son had sex with my girlfriend?

Give me your best shot.

"The Purple Drank"?

- And, yeah, that was a 90210 reference. - Yeah, you're super straight.

I don't know. They could be anywhere. Here's your coffee.

- That's it. I'm going for it. - Going for what?

Why? Is this about me not having a date?

Yes... What is it?

I know. She probably forgot to take her meds.

Hi, it's so nice to see you again.

Awesome. That's awesome for you.

Oh, but she can.

But the good news is, she wants to put you on staff.

- What are you doing here? - I just moved here a week ago.

- You eat the fucking ice chips! - I love you so much.

Because he loves Lil Wayne, OK?

- Did you smell my hair? - No.

You looked great.

and we're gonna look at the twinkly lights, and then...

Sure, I just, I don't know, I had an idea, I just went with it.

I got it! I got it.

- So, yeah. - OK.

It was like you were cheering while you were doing it.

and I might be kind of good.

google maps, nice

which is like ten times worse.

I'll get your number.

You're not gonna hurt me.

I didn't know that... I'm sorry about everything.

We didn't break up. We never started.

- Are you being jealous? - Of that guy? Come on.

- Patrice. Hey, I know you. - Hey.

So, my sister is getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow, and...

What are you doing at a party of frat?

I can actually take care of her, you know?

I don't know why I didn't get that. How did you know that?

Hey, do you know that girl?

Like a sexual woman?

- So? - I don't know.

I'm the bride. You have to do what I say.

It's Shira, and you look like you could use some coffee.

with an over-the-jeans cock rub.

You're... You're calling me because you're at your sister's wedding,

Listen, we should keep this simple.

...try to stay away from women who want to fuck you.