Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I'm chaperoning my daughter's Girl Scout dinner in 45 minutes!
Of course I forgive you, Peter.
Damn it, Lois, they're already here! This is all your fault!
Oh, my God! Meg, are you okay? Do you need mouth-to-nose resuscitation?
Oh, no, they're closed.
Hey, look! There's something written inside the lid.
Mom, Dad, I accidentally set fire to the living room rug!
Geez, you are not gonna let this go, are you?
- My treasure! - Oh, my God! You hit your own son!
Oh, I wonder what's in that!
- What do you mean? - Come on!
As you can see, we are predominantly an East Coast beer.
"May he rest in peace.
Look at you.
Those numbers still don't add up
"Expires May 16, 2006."
Quick, Neil! Sign into the neighbors' Wi-Fi so we can get that clue.
- I'm not going anywhere. - You can't stay!
Why would you do that?
Or maybe he misspelled it because cursive is hard,
And don't forget, if they have small children
Oh, man!
Guys get older, they stop paying attention to hygiene,
All right, let's go!