Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

-Mira, papi. Big Time! -What's up? How you doing?
-Did your father tell you that? -No, but everybody else in the world.
-Can you? -I can't wait.
Oh, yeah.
We feel responsible for the both of you.
We know you've been locked up five and a half years. Pussy is pussy.
Ohh!
@champagnepapi #scorpion
No. I don't think nothing like that.
Look, you've got to come to this school.
It's been a long time.
ESPN gets religion as we follow a day in the life of Abraham Lincoln senior...
I want you to go to Big State, son.
Within one week, a truck came and moved you and your kid sister out.
All right.
-We got game, they got game he got game -What's going down
-We need to stay out in the hallway. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-You going to cry now or something? -Why you got to push--Whoa!
If we work together, we can both get what we want. You know what I'm saying?
Gibby
I ain't even got to ask it
seven days before.
Yeah, huh? Come on. Sit down.
I'm talking about when he was with the Bullets down at Winston-Salem Stadium...
He played himself-- four years, varsity, at Big State.
What do you want, what do you need What will you find
Buddy, you know what this is?
I just don't want to see you beholden to somebody for something you done took.
But he knows how to pass. He plays with his teammates.
You really think you're slick, huh?
-Everybody in the hallway. -This is a party. It's a long hallway.
First quarter, Knicks up one. Jordan for three?
-What are the assistant coaches doing in the hallway? -Yeah. Right here, man.
-I do. -How you spell it?
I hope you don't think we're too forward or aggressive with the highlight film...
I got Calculus.
God bless you, son. I believe you do.
Off the court, I can't tell you a damn thing.
Hey, hey, you know how much Hilfiger this buys?
To be a good actress?
Through the fast lane in the game
-Yeah? -The ones in the front.
Who the fuck does she think she is?
Yup
-139, 150 with tax. -One-fifty? Where the holes at?
Pygmy buzzards be hovering over you trying to get that loose change.
30,000. That's a small trailer home in North Carolina...
Now listen from the beginning 'til I reach the ending
-First, number one-- -God ain't shit.
We know all about you. We love you.
When I watched Kenny Anderson's stuff,
-How you doing? You all right? -Okay.
You know, we're going to get married...
I know how you feel, son, but the fact remains he is your daddy.
Everybody says you're going to play pro ball and have your own Nike sneakers...
First thing that's going to take you out is these drugs they got for you.
Look, son, why don't you-- What you got there, a Range Rover?
They think they know it all.
Oh, so you just got the court built inside the house, huh?
Jake, please sit down. Sit down.
Call 9-1-1. Go ahead. Call 9-1-1. Go, go.
-That's my baby. -That's right. My boy.
-Go to sleep. -Good night.
Behind the game behind the game
Yeah.
-Not good. -What's wrong, dear?
Don't even lie. Tell me the truth.
The thought of reparation's got him playing with the population
-It don't make no sense. -It makes perfect sense. He smells the money.
No official word yet on how he escaped.
If man is the father the son is the center of the earth
-Maybe we could start being father and son again. -You ain't my father.
You're going to get mad when you get pushed?
because of what he's overcome in his life.
And, uh...
Bitch, what-- Get your motherfucking--
Stop right there!
Take Yo Pepto Bismol Bottle Ass on in the Bedroom Why the Fukk Yo Chuck E Cheese Kool Aid Man Looking Ass Gotta Talk to Auntie Like That?
What did I tell you about listening to what people say?
-Huh? -Hello, Uncle Jake.
What's up?
Let me think about it.
-Coach is back. -I need to see you in my office now.
Thank you. I just did it. Built it from scratch.
If my mother ever saw me with a white bitch, she'd spin in her grave.
Well, technically, it's mine.
When you begged me to get that abortion, I believed you.
More than your eyes can see and ears can hear
'Cause when you get mad, you can't play.
I'm just saying that there's a reason and I can at least admit it.
Sip, sip, sip on this.
I want you meeting the assistant coaches.
Check the papers Well, I bet on ices
Just coming down the court, you got a defender in your way.
You hit those?
-Yeah. I feel the same way. -Do you? That's good. That's lovely.
I'm going to take care of you, with interest if you want!
Why waste all that valuable time commuting back and forth...
It might feel good It might sound a little something
-Just call me the leprechaun. -That's your last basket.
-Jesus! -Look at that.
That's right.
Hey, how you doing? I'm Jake Shuttlesworth. I'm Jesus' father.
Daddy, how'd you get out? I thought you were going to be away a long, long time.
Two thousand.
Always messing around. That's why I can't mess with y'all, man.
Hold on. This is the right place for me.
-Jesus. -I don't know yet.
You want to throw up, let us know. We'll pull over.
@ folks hatin on drake
Yeah, that was luck, anyway.
Yes, Jesus! Oh!
Take a seat right there.
Full athletic scholarship, that's all?
You having a good time? Because you look so good.
-Man, thank God it's Friday. -Friday?
Go get it, the ball. Go get it.
that's been missing us for mad years.
I'm John Chaney from Temple University.
-We got to play for real. -And don't be confused
Let's go, Doc! Hurry up.
What’s up with all the familiarity
Why you allow this, this, this... pimp, you know, to just--
-Okay. -No. No, Jake.
You ain't got to worry about me no more.
-May I ask you a question, talk to you about something? -About what?
All those lips, all those hips? All those honey dips?
Yeah. I'm a lucky Negro.
All right, I'm, uh--
Don't be talking about my mother, all right? Please.
Let's get rid of this first.
Don’t be a hater
-Why don't we go inside? I'll show you my house. -We'd love to.
And I'd appreciate it if you don't ever walk through that door ever again.
That's one.
-We're glad you're here. -We're having a little talk.
All right.
Go ahead. Take off.
You puke back there, my main man Crudup will see to it...