Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- What's that you're carrying around? - What is that?
- You never know. Wanna make sure. - What is the seat-belt situation?
How'd that come up?
Ha, ha. Pretty sweet. All right, so I'm guessing we saved the business.
Only one of the largest catalog retailers in North America.
- He forced us... - Dale wouldn't even do puss.
- I'm gonna fuck your wife, Dale. - No, no.
He kidnapped himself. He'll sneak in any second.
But we got this.
- That's the plan. - The American-dream thing.
No, I don't mind holding. I just barely even called you right now already.
- Sir, we have the signal back. - Thank God.
...outsource manufacturing to China...
- Thanks for getting us snacks, dude. - You earned it.
With all due respect, you know what makes a guy like that tick.
- Will you stop? - Please?
- Okay. - Dale, you are one lucky man.
Otherwise, we gonna take your boy...
Okay, we don't know a ton. But I bet we know someone that does.
- I can't hear. What is he talking about? - Our nut sacs, mostly.
Just because your dad called the cops doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
What, uh, a woman?
- Why? - I always wash my hands.
- You have gloves on. - Stuff gets under there.
To all the absurd info in other resources Mike's reply!
Nickkurtdale.
Truth be told, Pop and I...
It's a $500,000 order.
Are you quitting on the plan?
- Do they think that? - I could see that.
Okay.
The boss is gonna love that.
He's gonna be way too heavy. Let's move.
FUCKING MCDONALDS
Look up Boulder Stream. Boulder Stream.
- No, no, no. Let's go to the unit. - Sorry?
No, I'm not gonna sleep with you.
- Take off the incriminating pants. - Run around in my underwear?
- I have to piss. I'm nervous. I'm sorry. - Shh.
Oh, no.
You wanna carry an unconscious dude down the street?
- Oh, my God. - Hey, man. Yeah. Whoo-whee.
Ah! You had us.
Bad example.
You're our bodyguard.
- Oh, shit. - They're gonna know you were here.
- It was a good thought. - Going back. This is great.
- Name me two movies, then. - You said name one.
- Yeah. Yeah, sure. - Okay.
Fucking 2019
And through risk and hard work, I made my own American dream come true.
But because you took a bullet for the detective, DA got rid of the biggies.
[wheels chugga]
- Oh, God. Goddamn it. - He called the cops.
...we get to meet three guys who are chasing
over a barrel and showed you the 50 states.
- Can you scoot over just a smidge? - Huh? No, I sit in the middle.
Because of the hue of my skin I know where to get date-rape drugs?
- It's better than our original idea. - A lot better.
Kill them.
Congratulations, boys. What an accomplishment.
The Waterboy The Wedding Singer Reign Over Me The Cobbler Commando The Warriors The Outsiders The Goonies Little Nicky Daddy Day Care Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith
Why can't this crazy bitch get it through her head?
- Please don't let me die with him talking.
FUCKING DVD
It's just ridic... I can't... It's so upsetting.
Take a vacation. Lighten up.
- Yeah, my e-mail? - Not yours.
And he was oddly squeamish about his own asshole, which is weird.
Move in. Everybody move in now.
- That's even better. - No.
Hey, that's awesome.
You can see them poking out behind that sheet.
You lose your job. Too bad for you.
Come here, you. Happy birthday.
- Oh, Jesus. - Wouldn't it be good to see him?
Hey, Kim, seriously, though. Can we keep a dry sink from here on in?
He's spinning out.
- Train! Train! Train! - Train!
- I heard you say it. - I didn't.
- He's gonna do it. - Here he goes.
I'm sorry. There's a hole in the back. I'm gonna stick my finger in it.
- Bed's made. - I can't believe this.
Good luck out there
FUCKING NIGGERS
Can you explain what's happening?
- Why would we do that? - Shh. Shh. What?
...along with a ransom note, a big old bottle of nitrous.
I'm not gonna kidnap someone based on 9 to 5.
- I'm not gay. I'll be right out, okay? - Come on.
I'm sorry, that name's not official yet.
All right.
No, that's not... Oh, wait.
He married his maid?
- What kind of dad doesn't come home? - Shut that down.
- Will you calm down? We have a plan. - We have a plan. Just relax.
Look up Boulder Stream. Boulder Stream. [Christmas carols singing]
- Please don't kill me. - Fuck!
- And some balloons of course. - We're the us.
This is the one Peyton Manning threw and the guy caught it in his helmet. Keep it.
- Uh, I was a boy. - How old were you?
Really? Yes. No, of course. I know exactly who you are.
Wait, wait, wait. I got an idea. I got an idea.
Okay. Okay.
- My asshole... - Asshole dad.
- First draft, final draft, right? - How about that? Nice job.
That's why I wanted scary letters.
- Can we not keep anything to ourselves? - Fuck me. I'm so sorry.
I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where you find pay phones.
- He took my kids. I'm gonna do something. - Easy. What are you gonna do?
Let me see it.
What are you talking about? You're acting like you have Stockholm Syndrome.
Kill Shot is in position.
- Cogs? - Julia.
Yeah.
- Look, you're upset and... - Oh, shit.
Yeah, and since he did...
- It makes us more colorful. - Yeah.
It was a bad idea, it really was.
If the worst thing that happens from this clusterfuck is your domestic problems...
- I sit in the middle! - Hey, hey.
- Okay. - You smarten up, and you don't even do it.
- Holy shit. - What's going on?
- Different situation. - Shit, I'm sorry.
You got that cash?
A lot of guys wear pink.
Ow.
Hold on, pal.
I was trying to hit him.
I really appreciate it. I mean, you made me smile.
Look at this. Unknown caller.
Hey, whoa, Dale.
Wow. The ransom drop is only hard if the police are involved.
- Sure we shouldn't have called ahead? - No. He's gonna love it.
- Holy shit. - Lookie there.
- I mean, you have to... - You have to...
Are you kidding? It's great.
Thank you. Where's my dad?