Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

to accept the party's nomination...

Not 10 minutes after you fired me, I had two offers for jobs.

You know what they say about first impressions.

I don't think everybody appreciated what you did in there.

-Of America. -What America?

We got shrimp puffs and cheese snacks...

I'm the government. I can do anything.

Your coming out party. Campaigns cost money.

Construction workers, nurses.

I'm a real American.

I tell you how business is. Business is great.

If you rob me, I'll whoop your ass.

What am I going to do?

I can't decide whether we should have a DJ or a band.

God bless America, and no place else.

Didn't you see me talking?

This is Nicollette White, she's your executive director of internal Liaisons.

Whose baby is this? It ain't mine!

HEY NG, IF YOU DON'T KNOW... YOU BETTER ASK SOMEBOY...

-It's like that? -That's the way it is.

Now, we'll lose, of course, but the minorities will be happy.

because everybody watches videos, MTV, BET.

What can you do when you're feeling low

yes beryl biserette? what do you want? i want to do some stowpolcrowarkkfcing in stoneville.

-Why did you change the channel? -He's scared!

Now give me one reason why you shouldn't.

Mays Gilliam, and his future First Wifey...

We'd like you to run for President.

You ain't talking about my clothes.

And that's what we want, a man of the people.

Presidential candidate Senator Gaines...

Dress for the job you want, not for the job you got.

When I have a son, I hope he's fortunate enough to get stuck up right there.

Tell me you didn't say that.

I could've got you into the council next term. Now you're red-lined.

How can you stop crime if you don't know no criminals?

I'll be right back.

Mays Gilliam is turning the establishment on its ear...

That's why we picked him.

I thought you could do something real good in Security!

Now, back to the Jay-Z song already in progress.

It's just a saying. Come back!

Who’s baby is this It ain’t mine

After a slow start, Mays Gilliam has made some dramatic changes...

After what you said, you need a foot put up in your ass.

there won't be another black candidate for 50 years.

America is the richest, most powerful nation on earth.

You just represent yourself.

You ever been to a horserace? My dad used to take me when I was little.

Thank you. Thank you, children.

It's on! Guys, come here!

Every time you're doing good trouble just pops up

but I'm trying to go through that Neptune feel--

You got a damn nub!

No, you can't win without California.

I'm not worried about Lewis. I'm running my race.

It looks like Gilliam might just pull an upset in Illinois.

I know. The mayor is fed up with you.

-You didn't see me on the news? -No, I didn't.

between Washington, D.C., officials and transit authority operators...

in his presidential campaign.

-The kids liked me. -You were very genuine.

the night before the election.

Who the fuck you think I'm voting for?

What kind of house is she supposed to get with $40,000? A crack house?

They take a poll for everything I do.

More beef than East Coast, West Coast rap. Check it out!

Now, before I go, I got one more thing to say:

I think I want 150, maybe 200 people.

You can't just pick some guy...

Knock out your kids. It helps.

Nice to meet you. What do you do for a living?

There's been an outcry that something needs to be done about school violence.

Look at my little brother! You said you'd call when you got here.

When I see it I think about the guy who has to scrub Lincoln's balls for minimum wage.

-Got tickets to the symphony. -Really?

you got just enough money to get your broke ass home...

I'm from the Athlete's Foot--

We need to study this issue, and appropriate legislation...

The first thing I'll do is make you my First Lady.

Your mother's ass is so big, when she sits down she's three feet taller.

You're not gonna believe this. We got the Teamsters!

They ain't stealing their money, they stealing our money!

Gilliam is done and Big Dave says, "Waa-waa!"

I'll be fine. I'm just gonna walk.

He really thinks he can make a difference.

I'm not crazy! Gaines was 20 points behind. It's ten weeks to Election Day.

Don't worry. I've been talking to the people downtown...