Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

“I’m like a hit it, continue to hit it... ... both physically & emotionally, kind of guy.”
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Well, I heard WhyPhy's coming back in a big way.
- Really? - Yeah, yeah.
That's a weird time to be Q-tipping.
- Fuck! Fuck! - Shit!
Oh, my God.
It's like a Batmobile.
Get your wrinkly hands off me!
See, you're fucking this up. You talk way too much.
- Great. - Yeah, maybe we will.
Next up is Brad McQuaid.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna split. I'll text you later.
Like, well, we fucking can, bro. All you gotta do is join the team.
I'm just saying, the kid sucks.
What the fuck? It's the same case!
She seems nice.
- You serious right now? - You...
- Nice to meet you. - Worst thing to say.
Dad, this is Doug, a guy that I'm dating.
We'll see what we can do.
Are we going to fuck?
Name one other person who has this.
My name is Jeff
We shoot dicks off here in Jump Street.
Come on, man, hook me up.
- Are we gonna fuck? - No, we're not!
You guys might want to hold on, 'cause this shit is coming down.
I just don't want to start off on the wrong foot with this guy.
That's a pretty random question.
Hello, football.
I'm having sex with a human woman.
All right? And when I'm with you, it just feels like you hold me down.
Are we gonna fuck?
Focus!
Boom, motherfuckers!
Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man.
Is that my bathing suit?
It's on now, dawg.
It's pretty gross.
Why don't you hold hands?
We Jump Street, and we about to jump in yo' ass.
No, I don't want out, okay?
I want to see you get crazy!
Why is it hard?
You can say whatever you want.
I was thinking about the case,
It was supposed to be our year
You can’t even see the muthafuckas
What, like when we were drunk or something?
Yes, thank you.
You're hilarious, dude. What's your name?
You are so old and weak!
- Bull's-eye. - Bingo.
I picked up on that early. Please, continue the dialogue.
It's a fascinating principle...
I'm your bitch.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Not always.
How you bitches like Jump Street now?
You're literally wearing your badge.
Girl fight.
we made breakthroughs
"You're dead You are dead
Shit!
...a slam poem in her honour.
Got it.
- Are they even still chasing us? - Yes, they're still chasing us!
This is crazy, all these
'Cause we have guns.
You're dragging me down. You're really heavy.
Like, a meat Q-tip.
- I got him in the dick. - Yep.
For starters, Zook has it.
You're dead. You are dead.
Look where you're going!
Shit, your trip sucks.
You took a bullet for me, man.
- Thank you. - No problem.
- Schmidt! - What the fuck, man?
55
This is fucking bullshit. Shit!
My name's not Doug, it's Schmidt.
- Pirates! Baby feet! - Paper clips! Bananas!
Snap, we're still saying the same thing. This is amazing!
- You did it! Yeah! - Yeah! Yeah!
"Fieto," not a word, but I'm gonna accept it.
Cover me. I'm gonna go long.
Don't do it, Leatherface.
I don't know if that's what I want.
- Hey. - Hi.
He is angry Hahahahahahahahah
Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker!
Thanks, Mom. Listen, we're undercover, okay?
What's wrong with those classic drugs from the '90s?
Safety.
How are you?
Hey!
Yeah.
Yep.
I'm just saying, it's, like, all fun and games,
I don't know. Maybe the school directory or something.
You could've gone in a parking lot, you went to the sculpture garden?
so high.
- We did it! - Dude, fuck, I'm...
Mercedes just took my dad that way!
What can a black man do to get some water around here?
- Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, man. - Yeah.
- You want to go first? - I don't want to die.
You gonna push me over with your walker?
Let's go.
Do you know how expensive that's gonna be?
Let's hear it for your Metropolitan City State Statesmen!
You're Dead. You Are Dead.
- Awesome. - Yes!
What the fuck y'all doing? Y'all rationing around here?
Nice twist.
I can't jump down! I'm not, like, fucking Spider-Man!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
But you can't allow yourself to be held down by a guy just because he won't let go.
No, it's not the thought that counts. It's fucking taking the bullet.
I think I know exactly who he's talking about.
They're destroying everything!
Are we gonna fuck?
We can't waste any more of the department's money!
Get the fuck out of my office.
"Slam poetry!
Move!
But this pork shit? Got to go!
Are we gonna talk about how weird you were today with Dickson?
It's gonna be fucking worth it, I promise, all right?
Nice, right?
What's up, dude?
And if that happens, WhyPhy is going viral.
What if we actually went into the Secret Service
- Brad. Wait... - Brad.
Bracken is the loser!
You're not gonna die. Just get the fuck up here!
No, we're not. If it was a white person, I wouldn't even care.