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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
[laughs]
I already graduated from the School of Hard Knocks.
Why would anyone want that?
♪ But I'll be standing In your hallway, Lola ♪
The Hot Pocket, my friends, was simply too hot.
Now get up.
[pop music continues]
To say the roof of my mouth was sloughing off in sheets
they'll rub together any gooey parts they got
♪ To me ♪
Wiping it off…
But our daughters aren't helpless objects
[bell rings]
♪ Chicken and cheddar ♪
Time for all the dads in the house to take the purity pledge.
♪ She got dads ♪
My father's not moving into assisted living.
It's really her.
I mean, clearly, I should try on
[grunting rhythmically]
You wanna put on a pair of high heels and step on me, Daddy?
And you need to move out
That's my mom.
-What do I do, Maury? -I think you just gotta do your time, bud.
Oh, good call.
♪ Fetuses should be allowed to drive ♪
♪ With voices on TV ♪
♪ It was Cookie In a counterfeit housekeeper suit ♪
♪ I'm a champion, I'm a goddess ♪
um, I love you more than the sun loves the sky.
Ooh, maybe loosen it up, you know, like a pickle jar?
Noted. Miss Skumpy, your life sounds very lonely.
-Ooh. -Ew, Dad!
Nice to meet you, Mr. Foreman-Greenwald. I've heard a lot about you.
Ooh, you're a really strong hugger, sweetie.
Ho, ho, the cave of wonders. Shall we snoop?
I don't know, Lols.
Bye, Felicia.
♪ Like a sad Macaulay Culkin ♪
It's been six-and-a-half days since I've feasted upon her essence.
I love you, Dad.
We'll use the money to set you up in a very nice assisted-living community.
[chuckles] Aw, Dad, you're… you're my favorite comedian.
Get the fuck out of our house.
This is the best night