Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

The brick on the ground says "Property of Christian Black."

There was just nothing I wouldn't do for my children. Hot, hot...

Did you break my fucking stool?

I really wanna show you.

and no future prospects.

First off, you'll get grounded.

I hate you the way black people hate cops.

I want you to give yourself to me sexually.

"Thank God I'm not you."

Yeah, just don't pass her around like we did her mama.

He gonna be like, "Oh, girl, no, it's just skin tags."

Your mother fucked everybody in the neighborhood,

My God, she has a nickname?

Okay, I'm gonna go so I won't be late for your interview.

Oh, come on, I can't compete with that!

I think I'm pretty good at this.

All right, just sign here.

I'm studying literature

I hate you the way Republicans hate ObamaCare!

Christian, you don't want somebody like me.

to make a man an oversized sandwich

Ooh, Daddy, I want you to write a song about me.

So, what do you think?

We passed her mama around like a baton, man.

Wait, wait, wait, don't move. Don't, don't...

Oh, my God, what kind of jet is it?

Yeah, yeah, it does.

I wanna go all the way.

No more of this pussy-ass punishment

but I've never seen anything like this.

Between global warming and the world economy crashing,

It's not little! You're just little people!

What kind of sick pervert beats you for their own enjoyment?

You know? You grab a beer, right?

You two are fucking.

So, for Eli, I have prepared Balangu.

- How about them? - Like who?

- I require at least two or three. - Five.

Or like Taye Diggs or Quincy Jones. Or even Ice-T.

And I love when my dick's in you naked

Damn, you must be giving that bomb head!

Yes, Ms. Steale.

And strike out anal fisting

You gotta get your shit together, Ms. Steale.

You're right. If you were my dog, I would do this.

You thought you were gonna do this shit to me?

Don't feel bad.

I know how it goes.

Bitch, I'm talkin' 'bout Lil Weezy!

I don't know who that nigga is with his shirt off.

I hate him. I'm gonna call him.

- Isn't it? - Yeah, it's the fucking charm.

Three million, 746 hundred million times.

I was just saying. He said it to her,

Please, have a seat.

I gotta go to the ladies' room.

Right over there.

you're obviously gonna have vaginal fisting. I mean, it's a given.

- Hey. - Don't get me wrong.

No, they're not! Okay, Hannah, you're mine, okay?

That was my sorority paddle!

'Cause, girl, you burned it

Anal, yes. Fisting, sure.

Are you ready for the ride of your life?

the odd rolled-up $100 bill that's got a little bit of powder on it.

That feels weird. What is that? It's so hairy.

Now, count off.

Thank you very much.

That song sounds so sad

Mai's the one that I worried about the most.

Oh, my God, I'm coming!

- Whoa! - Huh? Unable to make good decisions?

I love it! More!

- Hey! Hey! She said no! - Stop!

I'mma go punch a bitch in the throat.

Yes, I am wasted.

And sometimes the pain is not in your mind!

Yes, I would, if I met the right person.

It is awesome to meet you.

Come on, let's get you up.

- Ugh! It tastes weird. - All done?

Let me fix it for you.

and Thing 2 for Halloween this year.

So, tell me about your family.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Well, they just talk a lot, you know?

Okay? And I double-bolded that.

Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.