Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Eh... Handcuff.

Rookie move, Mr. Black.

after lunch and two games of racquetball.

And strike out vaginal fisting.

God, my arms are really starting to hurt.

My name is Eli.

I mean, it's not even legally enforceable. You know that, right?

I was one hand job away from losing valedictorian to that bitch,

I'd like to fuck you into the middle of next month.

We can't see them through your pants.

That's painfully uninteresting.

Listen, I don't fuck white girls, okay?

I think I have everything that I need.

I'm not too sure, but I think cinco comes after tres.

I'll fuck you. I ain't gonna like it, but I'll do it.

chlorophyll, wood chipper, plastic sheets

You can't come out like that.

Jesus Christ! Just spit it out!

Here, now, help me outta here.

Please, call me Hannah.

You could date white women.

Flo Rida is lucky.

That McCafé menu got a girl gushin'.

You'll get better with experience. Just keep working on it.

That's the one with Ryan Gosling

Like you's all bent over, and you're crying. You look a little crazy.

It could've been Sam Jackson in Ride Along.

Give me that. Give me that.

Was I rushing or was I dragging?

Why are you showing me this?

Holy shit, you're good!

Who knows what kind of crazy wig he would have been wearing?

God damn it! Motherfuck!

I mean, you're the first woman I've seen Christian with.

You let guys put it in your little rusty bullet hole

and a wedding where we invite 500 of our closest friends,

And then I will send you to your room

Let me know when those space Pampers come in, okay?

Oh, this is a great time.

Girl, he's staring at you like some real

Can I help you with something?

What, a black man can't have a nice place like this?

Oh, you have no idea what joy we have had from having our kids.

that first made you fall in love with literature?

You'll find someone. Somebody who wants to be open

You know, I thought you'd turn out not to be shit.

I fucks with your stepdad.

When you're in this room, you do as I say.

I'll see you later, woman.

You're exactly what I want.

Come on, there's other black actors!

Are you a romantic?

"Bitch, you got 47 skin tags on your dick?

It's like a Ronda Rousey fight. You blink and it's over.

Then they start throwing around all these big SAT words

And your favorite, of course, hot sauce!

No, Bill Cosby's a sick motherfucker.

and I thought it was cute.

This was not in the contract!

I mean, if you're gonna do anal,

You sign that, but then you get that paper, boo, all right?

That tastes horrible.

I mean, I like long walks on the beach.

I'm gonna go and visit her, actually, in a few days.

Gosh, my eyes are hurting.

- Fuck yeah! - Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Oh, girl, that's cute!

Oh... Okay. Yeah, of course!

Lots of sex, we have more sex.

Save me three boxes!

Welcome to my world.

Twenty-seven times is the fucking charm.

Well, it was important to me

Yeah, he's lucky.

Perhaps a little bit of flogging?

with Kateesha at the university.

Last time I went to coffee,

Now, for the last father-fucking time,

- Hannah, this is my mother, Claire. - Oh.

You gotta calm them niggas down.

I know. But I have softer whips.

That's not even a real language.

I'm putting that in there in bold.

I can't help it when a tall, athletic brother

We do. Great pleasure. It's been a pleasure.

I've done this before. _