Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

That's painfully uninteresting.

This was not in the contract!

I've done this before. _

You sign that, but then you get that paper, boo, all right?

I mean, if you're gonna do anal,

You can't come out like that.

You know, I thought you'd turn out not to be shit.

- Fuck yeah! - Whoa, whoa, whoa...

I fucks with your stepdad.

It's like a Ronda Rousey fight. You blink and it's over.

Yeah, he's lucky.

Oh, this is a great time.

That McCafé menu got a girl gushin'.

and a wedding where we invite 500 of our closest friends,

And your favorite, of course, hot sauce!

that first made you fall in love with literature?

Are you a romantic?

Here, now, help me outta here.

Then they start throwing around all these big SAT words

What, a black man can't have a nice place like this?

God, my arms are really starting to hurt.

Oh, girl, that's cute!

Come on, there's other black actors!

Can I help you with something?

Let me know when those space Pampers come in, okay?

Welcome to my world.

I'm putting that in there in bold.

You let guys put it in your little rusty bullet hole

Who knows what kind of crazy wig he would have been wearing?

Listen, I don't fuck white girls, okay?

Holy shit, you're good!

Well, it was important to me

Was I rushing or was I dragging?

And strike out vaginal fisting.

When you're in this room, you do as I say.

I'll see you later, woman.

It could've been Sam Jackson in Ride Along.

That's the one with Ryan Gosling

Oh... Okay. Yeah, of course!

I'm not too sure, but I think cinco comes after tres.

Why are you showing me this?

Rookie move, Mr. Black.

chlorophyll, wood chipper, plastic sheets

You gotta calm them niggas down.

Last time I went to coffee,

Lots of sex, we have more sex.

That tastes horrible.

We can't see them through your pants.

My name is Eli.

I'd like to fuck you into the middle of next month.

I can't help it when a tall, athletic brother

after lunch and two games of racquetball.

Twenty-seven times is the fucking charm.

Perhaps a little bit of flogging?

Eh... Handcuff.

I mean, I like long walks on the beach.

You'll get better with experience. Just keep working on it.

You'll find someone. Somebody who wants to be open

We do. Great pleasure. It's been a pleasure.

I'm gonna go and visit her, actually, in a few days.

and I thought it was cute.

I mean, you're the first woman I've seen Christian with.

You're exactly what I want.

No, Bill Cosby's a sick motherfucker.

I was one hand job away from losing valedictorian to that bitch,

I'll fuck you. I ain't gonna like it, but I'll do it.

I think I have everything that I need.

Like you's all bent over, and you're crying. You look a little crazy.

Please, call me Hannah.

Give me that. Give me that.

That's not even a real language.

I know. But I have softer whips.

Save me three boxes!

- Hannah, this is my mother, Claire. - Oh.

God damn it! Motherfuck!

Flo Rida is lucky.

Girl, he's staring at you like some real

I mean, it's not even legally enforceable. You know that, right?

Jesus Christ! Just spit it out!

Now, for the last father-fucking time,

And then I will send you to your room

Oh, you have no idea what joy we have had from having our kids.

"Bitch, you got 47 skin tags on your dick?

with Kateesha at the university.

Gosh, my eyes are hurting.

You could date white women.