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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
You are gonna clean your shit up. You're gonna stop all this drinking.
Then let's have dinner and get off the phone.
Keep your hands where I can see them.
- Oh, bingo. 119. You're right. 119. - Yeah, great.
I love you too.
I'm gonna have to put you in the cooler.
But we're not mysterious.
Maybe a little aftershave?
You're just being an asshole because you're drunk, and it's not okay.
Well, that's one smart little birdie.
Yeah, I'm aware of that. I know that.
- Bullshit. - Watch your language. It happened.
You tricked me, Tammy.
Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove
Well, fuck you
- I got this covered. - Okay.
Are you the grandma?
Yeah, it's... It's cool. It's okay.
Oh, my God. Here, let me help you up. Come here.
- Shitty. - Very shitty.
Ooh.
Little prick.
Ooh.
How about salmon? Give you a little cup of BBQ sauce on the side to spice it up.
He's coming over. He's coming over. He's coming over.
I'm not surprised. You always were a quitter.
You know, I don't think...
You look really pretty.
- Where are we? - We're in Missouri.
Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove
What was I supposed to do? Just stand there while she said shitty things to me?
It does sound better than "flies on shit."
I know I don't need you, and I don't need your money.
No, it's pretty.
It's an old folks' home. Like a prison for old people.
Mm, mm. I am loving this brisket. How's yours?
I'm sorry, Deborah, but it is a stupid house. And I hate it.
Yeah.
I tried to save you from that.
- I'm gonna take away the barbecue sauce. - Oh, man.
- Ha, ha. - It's not funny. I saw that on a show.
You know I like my girls a little bit older
Yeah, and she was super bossy.
I thought you were serious for a minute. Heh...
I had a six-month relationship with one of the Allman Brothers.
Suzanne
I like your hair like this, by the way. It's nice.
Bird doesn't come out of squeezy tubes.
- What? - Yeah, I know.
Oh, no.
Hey, officers.
You get a Fitbit Charge HR and you get a Fitbit Charge HR Everyone gets a Fitbit Charge HR
One little beer can't hurt, right?
Sorry.
Just wondering where your wife is tonight.
My grandma needs to get out of there now.
Hey, Tammy. I haven't seen you in ages.
- Really? - I don't know what it is.
What?
- Don't go. Tammy. - Grandma, I need your car keys.
- She's not breathing. She's dead. - What?
Oh, my God.
Help me, Charlotte.
Tammy, have you ever been to a lesbian Fourth of July party?
You're right. I didn't mean to, you know...
Whoo!
- This way, baby. - Grandma.
Pew, pew, pew.
You know I'd do anything for you
You need to focus on getting your shit together.
Ooh!
- Uh... - Nothing. Short list.
Yes, I do remember you.
I used to think that it was me But now I see it wasn't
- I told you. - Oh! You made me smell it.
Yeah, I'll see you in court!
I tried to sleep with your father.
Tammy!
- One. Two. - I'm calling the cops.
I think she took my keys.
But don't make me... I don't wanna have to choose between you.
Well, I mean, you didn't do it.
You wanna go to prison for robbing a store?
You never did appreciate nature.
little pass at you...
Yeah. I don't need them, but, um, I'm taking them.
- All right. - Hi there.
I know who he is.
Well, they're mine. My foot was hurting...
- Oh, it's too late for that. Ha, ha. Come on. - Ha, ha.
I do not want you to hurt Greg in any way.
- That's it. Little bit more. - It's crushing it.
Ambulance got here first, but she's gonna be okay.
Is it? Is that just my finger?
I'll take care of that one. You take care of that one?
- Put it on. You're killing me. - All right.
I can't believe that's possible. You do that with a chainsaw...
It isn't magic, you know.
You're not gonna die here alone. You're gonna die here with me and Don.
Midnight rider
Don't give him cash. Put it on your card and dispute it later. I do it all the time.
There we go.
Yeah. It's probably complicated.
Okay. Would you like to do the honors? It's your craft.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Yeah, nice try. I'm not buying you beer.