Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

How are you feeling?

Jesus, with this shit.

Oh, well, my husband isn't home. He's got the checkbook.

We were never friends, Piper. We weren't...

'cause a minute with you two is better than Plan B.

An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison

I'm just getting started, bitch.

What's it like when he comes to visit?

Want me to read it? I am going to read it.

Besides, whatever she was doing clearly ran out, right?

She works up front, eats souls for fun?

I got mad control over my epiglottis.

There's other people in this prison,

I covered for her when she got here. Hmm? Just like I did for you.

What? It's locked. Are you okay?

And it deserves to be celebrated.

Y'all are like some cautionary tale shit.

That's what you're supposed to say, right? It's a baby.

Five-hundreds. That's science.

Of course, honey.

Oh, wait. Crowning. Let's look at crowning.

Trailer park all-star with the classy neck tat?

I'm not some cool story at a yuppie fucking cocktail party.

I think there are pictures.

Your mother sucks cocks in hell!

That's it. Now leave me the fuck alone.

They won't even find out I was using.

But I just need to get... Out!

and she's like, Where's Pete? Yes.

My mighty staff?

After this comes the book deal, and then the movie deal,

And no one is shitting in any cup, okay?

I don't know. Polly made a last-minute Evite so...

I mean, shit. What's the point?

You wanna know how she gets the contraband in?

She made a mistake, okay? She's 19 years old.

You see any babies around here?

To the first of many articles in world-class publishing and the like.

You two should tour high schools for abstinence,

My father, he sold candy out of a box.

Now, the prison doesn't need a case of the junkie jitters on record,

so I had to let the guy run the meter until Polly's dad got there.