Stan Knows Best - American Dad! [S01E03]

That's funny. I'm funny.

- Don't egg her on. She'll never come back. - She hates it in there.

- How dare you. - How dare I? How dare I?

By morning she'll be back wearing footsie pyjamas, sucking on her Lion King blankie.

Hey, foxy.

I just have to remind her how great life is at home.

I've been studying. I even watched that Meg Ryan movie where she plays that burn victim.

- How's your French toast? - Smelly and ungrateful.

groin kick

- But she got rid of those things years ago. - Not in here she didn't.

That's gross.

Yeah. Who's your daddy?

But this American toast is delicious.

It's so cold and draughty. Which is great for a Michelob, but I gotta sleep there.

That's the one place you want them to have hair.

- Sure is. Japanese, to be specific. - Stan. I don't want a new daughter.

What is she squatting over? Hayley, that's not how you make coffee.

Fine. I'll go up to the attic. I'm supposed to bring pneumonia back to my planet anyway.

- I didn't order rude service. - Roger, why aren't you in the attic?

- Is Roger moving into Hayley's room? - No, he is not.

- He had the laid-back attitude of a stone man. - You mean a stoner?

Stan, I want my baby girl home. Just go down there and apologise.

No. No apologies. George W taught me that.

Stan. Our little girl is back.

Most girls have to go through chemo to get a wig this nice.