Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh, yeah. We're taking it this year, fellas.

Hi. It's the quote-unquote "auburn-haired girl in 307."

Hey, ladies! Happy hour is upon us at the Fox.

DALE: Until we get out on the field, Jakie.

At his own peril,

it's about the way the ingredients make you feel.

We're gonna need a couple more.

- Michelle, Val, this is Jake. - (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

BOUNCER: Let's go! Come on!

Give me a fucking break. Finn. Finn. Finn.

...those two things together?

- I'm up. - Yeah.

(STRAINING) I can't. Fucking I can't.

Okay, fucking no cover, free beer! We can't afford not to go!

No, I have routines.

I'm gonna come back there, and I'll fucking make you my bitch, man!

Maybe that, too.

Gotta get some meat on that boy's bones.

But it's the same thing that you're saying with the performing arts.

Willoughby isn't even his real name.

You know, I'll still have a few hours

(BOTH CHEERING)

JAKE: I mean, they say it's called "O Canada,"

We just having good times, baby

That's gonna be erupting like Mount St. Helens

Yeah, yeah. The Blue Jays almost picked me up,

- (EXCLAIMS) - (EXHALES)

- How's it going, man? - Hey. Two-dollar cover.

ALL: (CHANTING SOFTLY) Derek. Derek. Derek. Derek.

because that's what they want you to believe.

- (COUGHS) - Oh, yes. I mean, look,

You know what they call me?

FINN: How's that for incentive?

Did you give her two solid inches, Beuter?

You don't really mean that.

Ah, we noticed that you never made it home last night.

Who’s this fuck

(INHALES DEEPLY)

PLUM: This guy? JAKE: Yeah.

- I hear Val is fun. Go for it! - All right, cool.

- Hey, Bradford. - Yeah.

I think I got a tear in my eye, Jakie.

That is so sexy.

I'll fucking go home.

It's this physiological phenomenon.

PLUM: You know how well you'd have to see the ball

and just talks about what a pro prospect he is.

COMA: Yeah, I think that, too.

Can I borrow you for something really quickly?

- First time wearing cologne? - No.

but I feel like it's important to give back, you know?

JAKE: All right, bro.

PLUM: You got some moves. Alison, right?

What matters is just getting in that groove

Yeah, Season 2, Episode 5, if I'm not mistaken.

So you wrote about Aphrodite and being a baseball slut.

All right, that's a fucking stare down!

Wait, wait, wait.

What, Disco Boy now wearing a cowboy hat and boots and shit?

Hey, girls, how you doing? I'm Roper.

DALE: God damn it, Plummer!

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

Oh, cool. And you're a freshman?

I'm actually studying to be a cunnilinguist.

knowing there's no way you'd ever play pro ball?

It's my first days of college

We can stop now. We can call it five bucks.

Single-minded, and...

I'm just... I'm curious. Maybe you study

below the chest bone in the solar plexus,

And don't forget, he does have

A probabilistic framework and projecting meaning

- (MUSIC CONTINUES) - (LAUGHING)

it semi-paralyzes the whole torso.

Have you noticed, whenever we're around baseball,

How's that sound?

Waking up on Saturday like

Yes. As soon as you tell me.

See, he tells girls that he has an average cock,

Tomorrow, same time, all right?

Give me the room alone for a bit.

- Like the one in Fame? - Kind of.

Sound Machine, all right.

- Fuck off with that shit, boy. - (LAUGHS)

if you ever wanna play this game again...

Yeah, you need this. Yeah.

- Cool. - Okay.

COMA: Go get some glasses, Brumley.

- What the fuck? - JAY: Let's go!

JUSTIN: This is my old high school buddy, Jake.

It's all coming around.

if I gotta face you down the line in pro ball,

Hey, you return that with one scratch on it, Nez...

Dude, did you guys hear?

for the Freshman Numb-Nut of the Year award, right, guys?

JAY: Well, I'm a fucking raw dog, all right?

- You have. - (CHUCKLES)

FINN: Ah, you mean when a girl asks? That's easy.

And now, I can officially welcome you to Oz.

Hey, Finn, did you mention hung?

I'm gonna go upstairs real quick. I'll be right back.

All right, boys, let's go!

Maybe one of the best days of my life here, Nez.

and check out my album collection, you know?

Astrology? Mr. Cause-and- Effect Rationalist? (LAUGHS)

The Druids fucking knew it.

- Um, hello. - QUEEN: Oh, hello.

They just got me five minutes ago.

Are you the guy that says,

Just return my album, man.

Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

(JAKE LAUGHING)

You know, can you find a way to overcome all obstacles

Uh, we've got our party tonight.

I'm like, fuck it!

All his shit's gone, man.

You know, not only are you not the best guy on the team,

- Strike! - BRUM: Come on, Plum.

Are you insecure about the duck feet?

and you got your albums.

Okay, so should I come over like right now?

ROPER: (LAUGHS) Holy shit!

...or I'm doing anything particularly "respectable,"

- Just warming up. - Mmm-hmm.

- Oh, you gotta see this. - Yeah.

Only been at college an hour

- Yeah! - So she gets surgery,

They're talking about his dick, man!

Almost every single episode.

Aren't most athletes kind of...

Man, your life's gonna fucking suck.

They'd been investigating it for a while,

Fuck that shit.

Get out of my shot.

You cha-chao before you even know it

I'll go back in late summer, graduate, do that thing.

All right then.

JAKE: It's a thumb on your fucking chest, Nesbit.

Well, now you just plain hurt our feelings.

Now, we're actually around a few potentially interesting young women,

Could've gone to anywhere in Texas.

Yeah. Yeah. Hi.

"How's your ballplayer doing?"

to get this over with right here, right now.

- Let's go. Let's go. - I'm not gonna do anything.

or are you talking about marriage?

I think it's a little bit of both.