Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Yeah, man, 95-mile-an-hour fastball.

Go show her them albums.

Yeah, man, I must've wasted, like, $200 in quarters

You know how strong you'd have to be to do that?

Not all the time.

Hey, shake something, don't break something.

- Look at you, ping-pong pimp. - Yeah!

She's cool, you know?

You wanna know why?

Yeah, it's a mustache. That's a mustache.

Bunch of fucking numb-nuts!

Hey, it's part of the scholarship.

PLUM: That was not good.

JAKE: Was that a big deal for you, transferring in senior year?

you know, moving into the dorms on campus?

No, no, not until Coma gets in here.

They're great. Devo and The Cars,

And from Detroit, Jay Niles.

Dr. Finnegan, so epicurean Indulge in the BMOC

the giant waterbed-shaped iceberg right in their path.

in the bathroom stalls,

PLUM: Damn you, Jake!

I feel like The astros will win the world series

We suck so fucking hard.

- Uh, no. - Good.

What's up, man? Jake Bradford.

You don't get it!

That ain't close to touching 90, son. Who you fooling?

ROPER: And what was I supposed to do, huh?

Hey, wait. Hey, no.

you have to drive to Caribou River Park Reserve

You look like a Bible salesman.

really succeed, the only choice you have

- And I was like... (GRUNTS) - "What is he doing?"

A good bet would be, I don't know,

Whoa. Hey. The bitch stick?

- GIRL: Oh, my God. - Oh! Hey! (LAUGHS)

Uh... No, I'm scared now, but, yeah...

That's what I'm talking about, man!

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

- You talkin' to me? - No, can't you see?

- What the hell is this? - Please.

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

if you want, you can spend as much time

What the Charlie Pride are you talking about?

just getting reamed by these little fuckers.

Look, man, I got a little lady downstairs

PLUM: What's up, Mac?

Don't bring your ass around here!

Oh, man, that's funny.

On the field, you know. Up here, benchwarmer.

So won't you come with me and please be my friend?

Having the guts to look fucking stupid.

- Hey there. - What's up?

with something to focus on, you know,

See all that fun, all that laughing?

I didn't get beat up or anything.

- No, no, no. - Double or nothing.

Alcoholic beverage in there. I'll be danged.

- FINN: Beautifully played. - Oh!

FINN: Jeez, ball hit the mitt before you ever even swung.

You know, just look for two beautiful houses

DALE: Damn. Hey.

DALE: Hey, look,

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I feel like the Tigers are going to make the playoffs next year

NEZ: I'll take one.

Like, what would it be like to go through life

Coming at you! Coming at you!

who just kind of spouts out all his stats

is to mentally toughen the fuck up.

- ROPER: That ass is golden. - Absolutely, say no more.

JAKE: You're looking at it, Plum.

'Cause they know that I'm the best

Our home and native land!

up a mountain over and over and over again,

Okay. Let's go!

Finn's got his dick in the door.

I hate all this Cotton-Eyed Joe,

Investigative Journalism is not an official major here,

Yeah, that's it, man.

it's just not happening.

Man, guys, she says she might be pregnant.

- It's growing. - FINN: Was that hair?

JAY: You know what, man? I only know 150%, all right?

Thanks. (GRUNTS)

to take batting practice off Jay Niles

I took special care. I didn't say that word, okay?

Master of disguise.

(SINGING) I'm Rope a Dope A proud Cherokee

Ladies! How was your summer?

So, my obnoxious teammates actually helped me on this one?

- The one on the right. - The tall one?

Oh, you know, it's kind of a dress-up party tonight.

- (GIRL SQUEALS) - (ALL GROANING)

You know, man, but my girlfriend, she lives out of town, right?

trying to shore up our pitching staff.

"Well, that's what I told Mrs. Franklin. She told me to go fly a kite!"

I feel like the Astros are gonna make it to the world series

Fuck losing the playoffs. We're taking it all this year.

That's not gonna cut it.

- I wound easily. - (SNICKERING)

Nice fucking life you got here, Joe College.

Who the hell are you?

Think before you do something stupid, please.

Dude! No cover and free beer.

PLUM: A fucking cat.

I'd appreciate that, all right?

abaceada-ddad-dedb-abeb-adbaebebeebe

You can't win. Once they get up on you, you're fucked.

- A real drink! (LAUGHS) - Yeah! Yeah, do that!

JAKE: Hey, I'll see you later, man.

but we'd like to invite you to a baseball party with...

Freshman superstars.

My name is Willoughby I know the master plan

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - English.

Don't fuck it up, man. Let's go.

who maybe wants to come up here

Hit it, bitch, I'm 95 strong

Anyway, you guys all pass?

I think you've had enough, raw dog.

People might think you're method, I don't know.

- I don't know. - Yeah.

ROPER: All of you.

All of our true assholish nature is emerging.

BEVERLY: Bachelor number two!

You'll always be the champ, Nesie.

- The leg stuff. - How does that happen?

- Detroit? - What? What?

Let's break that school record right fucking now.

It's like having sex with a girl