Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Like a party or something.

Out, actually, for the rest of the day and most of the night, though.

You're a freshman, too. Not supposed to be hazing me.

It's a little fucked up!

PLAYER 1: I'm not doing it.

- All rightie. - Okay.

Triple or nothing. Huh?

Oh, yeah? All right.

What, the old "What's your major" question?

Cheers for the beers.

I'm climbing that tree, Jake!

I feel like the Astros are going to win the World Series

Friends don't strike out friends,

Nope. I'm telling you, it's absolutely impossible.

Like Nez. I hate that guy.

Yeah, he's in there.

MAC: That's right, freshman.

Okay. Pretty soon. Then I'll see you then.

to fold like a lawn chair?

But now that I don't play

I know that for a fucking fact!

- Really? - Yeah. God, I can't wait.

JAKE: Hey, you gotta walk me through this, man.

danced the Cotton-Eyed Joe in kicker attire,

FINN: I know a lot about the human body,

Yeah. I mean, every guy here

Did I ask you guys to be in my room right now?

- "is a cock jockey." - JAKE: Oh.

in my room pretty soon.

Nesbit. A pleasure.

as evidenced by this ill-fated and ill-advised adventure

Okay. Well, get ready.

NEZ: Yes, sir! No, no, no! Get this, get this.

You're making us look bad. Just sit down.

Yeah. Hey, new guys, listen up.

Like, I know what we're doing here.

(CROWD CHEERING)

NEZ: Yeah, no, the registrar's office discovered it.

MAN: Have fun, boys.

- (HONKING) - Tit-tit-tit-tit-tit-tits!

You know what I'll do?

Humans were telepathic, man.

ROPER: You guys have no idea.

- Shit, they don't? - No.

- (FLICKS KNUCKLES) - (NEZ GROANS)

- You warm? - Yeah.

He didn’t beat me in karting and now I’ll smash him in golf I’ll take that bet... any amount you want (no more than £20 I’m skint)

You know, it's a gift to be striving at all, you know,

FINN: It's creepy! ROPER: Tell me about it.

You're not one of those guys that thinks that

- So, I gotta get two? - Yeah, Mac, two.

Nah, man. We just went by the house.

The inside is even weirder.

you can play an E pentatonic scale at 100 miles an hour

When you said you liked the quiet guy in the back seat best,

Party later tonight at the baseball houses.

(EXHALES) Did he just fucking... It's a fucking screwdriver!

Coming around talking shit like that.

Listen to how it goes up.

artsy-fartsy theater major friends.

you know, you're barely even good enough to be here.

- Fuck! - You're up, man.

heading to the Student Center.

ROPER: Well, look at this lovely bunch of ladies.

JAKE: Okay. Stop, stop.

BEVERLY: (IN BRITISH ACCENT) Bachelor number three,

Hey, what position do you play?

(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

'Cause I'm a superstitious fella

Shut his fucking mouth.

They, like, recruited us freshmen to help set up.

and all that fun stuff?

Yeah, hey, you know what, do what you do best, Niles,

You don't really seem like it.

You should be investing this energy elsewhere.

meet them in the middle and...

Screwdriver! This place is fucking awesome.

- Yeah. - ...and you're addicted to winning.

might make you feel tough,

- What am I thinking about? - Baseball.

It's not about you! Go fuck yourself.

Master plan for a higher man

You got a football team that'll win about three games a year.

You gotta suck its dick.

Thank you, Willoughby. I'm Finn.

I don't care if he grew up on 40 fucking rivers,

It's this physiological phenomenon.

Say cheese, baby!

QUEEN: Ooh, a good one.

- Lookit. - What? What's up?

Boy, you better stay out of my way

What's the five-knuckle shuffle?

but it turns out that she's beautiful,

Bye. Call me later?

- Sure, man, 309. - No, 307.

So, what's this thing you're doing later?

COMA: The only thing you killed tonight

All right, think about this.

"it's how those atoms are put together."

Guys, were we supposed to wear a costume?

And not only do those guys not give a fuck about you,

All right, I got fucking swimmer's lungs. I'm a river rat.

JAKE: Yeah, you got that one where the lady,

If you're not there, then you probably don't care

DALE: Finn's in his average cock mode.

- Now we're full up. - (ALL LAUGHING)

No, I don't, actually.

But there's only 25 of us. We're the best team on campus.

Listen to this progression here, okay?