Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh, okay, don't mind me.
Angie, you look amazing.
You know, at someone's house out of town.
- Good to meet you, man. - Good to meet you.
Ah. C, she say if her roommate's gonna be there?
It's Beuter Perkins until we tell you otherwise.
You go to a show, meet a couple of cute girls,
Now he's giving me the old-fashioned stare down!
sometimes endearingly clumsy, or is that just her?
Bullshit. Bullshit. Just...
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
All right? This is where it all starts.
"What if he smells my breath?"
Today
Guys.
on how to get your shit together, okay?
What does that mean?
(COUGHS)
I'm just trying to fit in
PLUM: Oh!
The topic was to take a Greek myth and relate it to your own life.
Who gives a turd what some egghead professor says?
Get it on there, man.
Yes, it is.
ROPER: Okay, Finn, you're up.
Probably meeting up with her at a party later tonight.
you have to walk out on the tundra,
Hey, look, you gotta start the semester with 12 hours, all right?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
DALE: Oh, Thompson? He's a football player.
Known to get a little drunk
Two, two, two, two! Ball's in the gap!
Are you gonna ask me to dance, or are you just gonna stand there?
Big difference.
(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)
- Yes, sir. - (LAUGHS)
So, all of y'all play on the baseball team?
Don't bring him back here again, you get me?
It's like a puzzle, man.
JAKE: Yeah?
but it's not helping out any of your fucking teammates.
Just what we need, another fucking pitcher.
ALL: Oh!
Yeah.
(PLAYERS SHOUTING)
So, you were really good at baseball in high school?
"Go fly a kite!"
What miserable updraft wafts you three hither?
Yeah, but a good year.
- This ain't no frat party. - (WHISTLES)
And where's, uh, San Luis Obispo?
- No, F that and you. - No, Jake, Jake!
on this bitch last summer,
Jake's got a big party tonight.
You're the new guy?
- Thirty! - Like a three and a zero.
Anybody who fucks with me, they don't get fucked with back!
Two hours of drinking before the team meeting.
Did you tell her?
Let's get it.
- Is this the Mad Hatter? - MAD HATTER: Yes.
Look, she's just taking your little chicken-fried nuts
isn't fucking music.
- Whoa, fuck! - That's for you, babe!
All right. Jake Bradford
(SIGHS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hands on the wheel and fondue my cheese
No, like they say, pressure's a choice.
(GRUNTS) D, I don't know. Why?
Be my guest.
and work hard all year, right?
For you vets, I expect you to show the new guys around.
Show us your PITTS!!
Now, I'm Nesbit No shame with no game
filled with Greek gods who care.
Where?
Well, look at you. (SCOFFS)
Yeah?
You guys aren't the All-Stars you thought you were
- They made all that up, too. - PLUM: Yeah?
NEZ: I've never been able to do it.
(CHUCKLES) At least take the sunglasses off, man.
`
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
You know, they're just... They're a little scared of us. You know?
Your fucking junkyard dog routine from fucking Detroit
I do.
- A big pile of what? - Bullshit!
all we talk about is pussy.
All the guys around here punch me
especially when we're freshman friends.
It's a major you can actually practice before graduating.
We're just gonna do a quick wardrobe change,
She's just giving you shit for it because you left her back on the farm
We're gonna shift our focus
Jesus fucking Christ, damn it.
- Uh-huh. - It's just a players-only practice
DALE: Get ready, boys, your college careers are about to begin.
majoring in all kinds of shit here.
Dodgers win. You're such a dick.
if you ever make it there.
You know I'm a fucking ballplayer, all right?
Mmm.
It's my good luck helmet. You know what I'm talking about, Finn.
Hey, ladies, uh...
that wasn't quite good enough to play pro ball,
MAC: He's fine. He's just fucking weird.
Said she wanted to squat on your boner.
FINN: Act like you've read a book before. Jeez.
Welcome to the fucking party, Jake!
Come on, y'all, my name ain't Beuter. Okay, guys? It's Billy Autrey.
Beer for breakfast My Cap'n Crunch
Fuck yeah!
- That's special. - FINN: Let me talk, man.
Yeah. Yeah, you is a team player, ain't you?
You ol Terrance Howard shaky voice ass you ol James Brown Little Richard Ray Charles singing ass You ol Della Reese big ass you ol Snoop Dogg smokin ass you ol Carol Kane white hair ass you ol Whoopi Goldberg Spike Lee glasses ass you ol Bert and Ernie lookin ass
- Come on, let's get a beer. Come in. - Yeah.
"What's he like? What's he do?"
Plus, I think Mr. Finnegan set up a room downstairs for that.
Cherokees are never leavin ' the top... Douglas
but they think he's been doing this to other colleges.
after you went to all that trouble.
onto a completely random sequence.
Really? No fucking way!
think that the quiet guy in the back seat was cute?
No girls upstairs in those bedrooms.
there's gonna be some guidelines for living here.
Yeah, I did, believe it or not.
We goin' make a little trouble
Like a fucking vacuum cleaner down there, man.
(MOCKING FINN)
- Excuse me. Bye. - Yup. Bye.
Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Well, you notice how everybody was somewhat courteous
(EXHALES)
He's being modest.
- All right. - Those your bags?
It's gonna be a strange year, man.
Here.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
DALE: Whoo!
Would I have walked up to you
I'll show you my buns if the booze is free
PLUM: Nah, dude.
That I'm not gonna be playing this game forever?
What are you talking about?
(ALL JEERING)
I'm gonna fucking defend myself!
Too fucking philosophical for this shit.
from these stupid little competitions.
on top of another really fat girl,
(ALL LAUGHING)
- Having a tail. - Cereal?
I told you so, man.
Hey, have you noticed everything around here's a competition, huh?
Good job, baby! Good job!
Sounds of amateurs
- You locked in? All right. - Yeah.
I think.
You know who drinks a screwdriver?
That's what he implied.
Huh.
- Oh! - ALL: Ugh!
If you guys want more beer, go to Howard.
And if you're not serious about that, you might as well go home.
I don't know, man. Finn's got that Leeann chick in there.
- Wanna come in? Okay. - Sure. Yeah.
What do you say?
not because they get shot, but because they get overrun.
What? Let's go! Come on! What'd you say?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, dude.
and his 95-mile-an-hour fastball?
They gave us two houses. Man, we've got it made.