Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What's that buzzing I hear?

- Hey. - Ooh, look at those moves. Whoo!

Step one: First impressions matter,

It's gonna be free. The first one's always free.

Okay, I will keep looking.

What are you doing?

I mean, I've been working on it for a little bit, so...

Guess what else.

- No, just Bianca. - Jesus.

People ask you questions about them, right,

GIRL 2: Flash mob hump session on Toby at 3:30?

BIANCA: It all started senior year, about a month before homecoming.

Whoa whoa whoa!

If you must know, I've never been on an actual date before.

...Mr. Wesley Rush.

I mean, not to me. I never went to a dance when I was a kid.

I never should've called you the DUFF, okay?

You do. Come on.

[PLAYING SIMPLE TUNE]

paid by taxpayer money

A, don't leave your curtains open,

Ah, kind of looks like a penis, only smaller.

WESLEY: Hey, Billy.

What? What are you talking about?

- ...all night. - Wait, what?

- Try to keep it in your pants. - Next.

- Hey. - Now, that's a classic look.

Drumroll, please.

and that's definitely mightier than a sword.

and then you, um,

[BIANCA CHUCKLES]

What's wrong with porn?

Date night. I worked up all my courage

You look beautiful.

Plus, Wesley would never leave me for some DUFF anyway.

The one who doesn't look as good, thus making their friends look better.

BIANCA: Although Jess' menu of dudes was never-ending,

their eyes filled with this, like, sparkle, you know, with, like, childlike wonder,

and, uh, maybe try on a new attitude while you're at it.

Why is your hand messed up?

but to the majority of kids in school,

a princess, a bully or a basket case.

Was that a little laugh? There was a little laugh there.

So then I just started writing poems, and those poems became songs and...

I just... I can't see Wes.

- You're listening at the door again? - Yes, I was. This is juicy stuff.

Damn, dude. All right.

where you realize who you are, you accept it,

Then I am taking you off of Instagram.

When my parents got divorced, my mom wanted custody of me,

JESS: B, really?

Why, thank you.

I am the gatekeeper.

Now he's doing the second most important job a DUFF can do,

you should just be straight-up with them

- Go. - Okay, I'll tell you how it goes.

- What are you doing? - I just have to...

Mine is this way, though.

I have feelings for you.

Oh, well, you didn't really miss much.

- We good? - We're good.

Looks like the lessons are off to a real great start there, coachy.

- ...I'll round it outwith old trusty... CASEY: Not the flannel.

- Wow, you really dressed up. - Oh?

See Sweater Guy over there?

If you asked me at the beginning of senior year,

- Wait for it. CASEY: Bianca, don't do it.

Because, like everyone else in school, he knew what I was.

- Hey, Trevor. - Have fun tonight, Trevor.

I couldn't possibly care less.

do they have dates to the homecoming dance next weekend?

I would bang her so hard we'd both need helmets.

Believe it happened yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, um, it's a working title.

Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you, Toby.

[STUDENTS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

Our school serves pizza five days a week,

So stop messing it up for those of us who do.

What happens here?

BIANCA: Ma, I'm off to my big night.

Well, it's either that or all the duck-head poses people do on here.

intertwining with the poetry of the lyrics.

only you can define yourself.

[SIR MIX-A-LOT'S I LIKE BIG BUTTS PLAYING ON PHONE]

Now it all makes sense.

- Huh? - Wow. Um...

There once a boy named Toby Tucker Bianca Piper just wished he would...