Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

you little blond piece of trailer-park trash!
That's so embarrassing.
Amber, how do you feel?
I’m the winner and I’m going to state
Love ya baby!
Amber does my hair once a week.
The whole thing's just kinda sad and lame at the same time.
And what's going to happen here is that this is going to look...
An ambulance? Call a ...
I don't really have time for guys anyways.
Take a memo, sweetheart.
You go find the guy who cut 'em off.
I know.
Mom's out here in the front row.
You need to put on your physical fitness outfit.
reporting live from the Food Shack for KRLH News.
I'm gonna quit the pageant.
I was just saying that, you know?
you're signing up for the pageant.
So, anyways, my mom gave me this thirty-aught...
I must say...
I can sum up our entire philosophy with this glass.
Oh, great.
a little more like Diane Sawyer than my mom.
This is Amber Atkins...
or prison.
Oh, Ma.
Take a memo, sweetheart!
We need more bars.
She always keeps her flame burning bright.
After some extensive investigating...
Fuckin' beauty queens blowin' chunks everywhere.
I'll be line dancing.
Amber Atkins.
hairy-legged women libbers might say.
And the winner of the spirit award goes to...
"Jesus loves winners. "
"AMER-I-CAN!"
Hey, what he got that I not got?
and rip your fat little heads off!
A salmonella dysentery outbreak...
And you...
The American Teen Princess Pageant...
I think it went really well.
Gladys, the Judges Interview.
How quickly they forget where this all comes from.
One of our reporters has just been shot.
Mom, will you be so kind?
You'd be like heaven
for... car accidents. Insurance.
Oh, you bet.
that teenage beauty pageants are a good idea?
Good things happen to good people.
Sonsabitches had one job!!! Shielding & Kapton Tape!!!
Gladys says a couple of youse...
Never judged a pageant before in my life.
that I know I've been waiting for.
I gotta go!
This is this is… Nazi Germany!!!
Hi, guys.
Oh, you’re cute
It lasts longer.
remove this.
Hi, monkey.
I'm Peter Atchison.
People ask me where I get this.
It's OK.
Don't go in the bathroom.
Aren’t you due or something?
Speak English You Stupid little retard
"Take down the goddamn Freda sign...
Pink cheeks and...
I'm going to be smiling for a year.
Makes me...
and still find time to look beautiful...
Would you excuse us for a moment?
You shut your goddamn mouth, you goddamn retard!
and when they're looking at your teeth, God willing...
if you wanted to do something...
has brought about her untimely death.
Here she is
to compete for the title of American Teen Princess.
I gotta get ahold of Ted...
Cross on the left and arms up on eight.
I know who the winner is
Let's get out of here!
He's buried next to my grandpa.
Yall had one goddamn job... Shielding and Kapton Tape!!!
I guess I could answer that.
while you run to the john.
I didn't do anything wrong.
She got called down to the bone gardens.
Oh, Miss K.
They like to take out of there. The villain Rose shakes her butt? They like to take out of there. The villain Rose shakes her butt?
OK, due to budgetary cutbacks...
Our next contestant is ready, so let's welcome her...
come and get it!
the world's largest Conestoga wagon.
We've got kids in the audience.
over here at the tiki bar...