Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

but this one is extra-super-special to me.
Yeah, sure. It's my lucky number anyway.
'cause my two favorite people in the whole world...
My dress will reek, Mother.
Loretta, never have kids.
- OK, ladies! - Girls, come on.
My mom had Mrs. Lopez make it.
Oh, well...
Hunting season.
Are you attending Outside Lands? Nah, I think I’m like due or something
American Teen Princess Pageant really changed my life.
What is...
Those were different times.
Are we on cops?
This is... this is...
I'm the judge!
Yeah, and they say smoking's bad for your health.
Come here.
a little bit different here in Mount Rose.
we have all been waiting for.
No, she never hid the fact...
Did I win?
What's my problem? Sit your skinny little ass down.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe she said...
Oh, are we on "Cops" again?
You know what? Benzo's gay
It'll help you smile...
or Harold.
Aka Minneapolis St. Paul
Where do they get this stuff?
Remember, figure eights, ladies.
So, Molly, tell movie man what you talent do.
Don't fall for it.
She's happy?
You'd think they'd have the parking lot of America...
The communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them.
You guys know the retard's pants are open?
And the year before that was...
Mount Rose American Teen Princess.
She's pregnant!
I know who the winner is.
Thank you very much.
That's right.
Yeah. Darn good friends.
I'm quitting.
It's been about two months.
Oh, Amber!
Wyoming.
But you know the rules.
I mean, you guys got a camera...
Could you tell us anything about the controversy?
put your knees together.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
With a scholarship of five hundred dollars...
And repeat.
It's me.
You piece of shit trailer trash!
Funny, you don't look dead.
If you turn 18 and you’re not a total fry, it’s just what ya do.
Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
Well, it teaches you what's really important in life...
Look, number one rule in a funeral home...
And now, our second runner-up...
I haven't told my boyfriend yet.
I hope it was worth it.
W- i-s-c-o-n-s-i-n.
found my tap costume on the roof of their trailer...
Kenny! Kenny, come. Come, Kenny.
I have a little secret weapon of my own.
and certain things you aspire to, yeah?
This is exactly how I pictured it...
Well, I sat down to have a beer, and kablooey!
Have you decided what your talent is going to be yet?
Once a carny, always a carny.
If you catch this in your mouth, I'll give you a present.
I'm gonna be honest.
Every year... every damn year, I tell 'em...
Tendu...
It's weird, though.
Oh, great.
Let's give a big round of applause...
We gotta go to state
To America, Dad.
Ow! Leland, stop it!
The girls are changing. I think you should leave.
Just put another book under it.
God, Iris, you taped your shows over it.
Now get up there.
Ladies, it's time.
That's it.
Didn't even get to keep my damn tiara
That's right. From Mount Rose.
The secret is... the hutch is included in the price.
- Shut it. - It's true.
Then we have the...
Do you like to swim? NNY
so you watch the Jell-O salad, OK?
always offer to pay them off in tacos.
So you've judged a lot of pageants over the years?
I'd start walking out of this town...
Alabama.
One, two, three!
- I hate her! - We all do. Let's go.
to "New York, New York. "
Ladies, listen up. I'm Colleen Douglas.
Is this my mark?
Booger This diaper
The American Teen Princess Pageant!
Thanks.
My mother, 'cause she could solve world hunger...