Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Here. - Thank you.

'cause I've got to call all of these Congress people.

It makes a big difference to know that she's calling from the Oval.

Could be more. Probably fit a lot of corn in there.

I mean, you treat the Constitution like a build-your-own-pizza menu.

to forgo a traditional Thanksgiving

Oh, listen, I'm not gonna need you this weekend or tomorrow,

You know what it is? You want to fuck my wife, too, don't you?

How do you feel about the term Turkeypocalypse?

of salmonella poisoning linked to contaminated poultry.

What are you asking him for? He's not a doctor.

Yes. We will be right back after this short break.

Kent: Well done.

- What? - What just happened?

Now, the beauty of this procedure

Husband? You're married?

My husband and I are having his whole family over for turkey.

I hope you die a horrible death

So do you have a list of spectacular dumbasses?

- In Maryland, ma'am. - Oh, that's where I'm from.

I hereby declare Drumstick and Cranberry

For my family back in Connecticut, we ditched the turkey.

Kent: Ben is bringing over Vice President Doyle.

My wife and I are trying to work some things out.

My eyelids are seriously starting to look like Keith Richards' ball sack.

I'm pretty sure I said be and also careful.

- Oh, please. He wishes. - Ma'am, Mike just announced to the press

- There you go. - We're gonna have a mutiny.

The first ever Thanksgiving,

God, it still sounds so weird saying that.

Got a little something for you.

Shit, I don't even know who's at my house.

Oh, honey, I can't.

At each of today's programs,

And I noticed it, so I confronted him with the evidence.

How'd it go with the New Hampshire Napoleon?

I invited Richard to come back with us for Thanksgiving tomorrow.