Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

'And it tastes great.'

'All aboard the Coconut Express. Next stop, Loony Town!'

# I'm not sick, but I'm not well And I'm so hot

He'd written the Nicene Creed all over his legs.

'You're not really at Highgrove, are you, Jeremy?'

Er, sorry about that, Joe. He's famously flighty.

Look, I have mortgage statements. Mate, I'm...

Off on my merry way.

writing a book about the Byzantine Church, but for the general reader.

No, it's turned, it's fucking turned on me.

You can't see it, but it definitely exists.

or throwing my iPad out the window.

'Telephone, telephone, sunglasses, smiley face, crucifix, and "enter."'

I'm going to make you cry delicious tears,

He's a devil, he's a saint.

And I'm thinking Herodotus and a bowl of muesli.

unless you include John Julius Norwich's so-called History Of Byzantium,

'Oh, I'll buy you a ploughman's, Angus,

I'm getting my shit together.

I'm sorry. It's a no.

What do you mean, no shooting? I was going to get shot?

We need to leave.

Yeah. But he's been made redundant, sadly.

HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

In terms of praxis, the difference between Russian and Greek

This programme contains strong language and adult humour.

A muffin? You're going to stand here, waiting for a massacre, eating a muffin?

I'm growing up and getting an actual office

'Love amongst the mustard gas.'

'Oh, God, help me.'

Well, guess what, I've got one word for you.

Next thing I know, he's gone off to Turkey for five months.

for facilitating an armed fucking robbery.

Shit! Right, text pub man, tell him not to shoot Mark.

Er, I believe it's Greek, Mark.

but in the end I'd probably have to say the Queen.

'He's just a big, beardy pen thief.

'Storage Wars, Walnut Whip, wank into a flannel.'

The big, brainy, wife-hogging shit.

Go on. I'm going to do it.

I've got you the goods.