Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

♪ Schmoopy pie, I'm begging you, please ♪

♪ Se alegran ♪

and not hire this man to hand out leis and sell VCRs?!

Ah, dude, nobody is on LinkedIn.

But then, last night, I sat down and actually read it.

on a scale from one to ten, rate your suicidal thoughts.

♪ And please don't be a murderer ♪

I feel kind of bad now.

♪ And please don't harvest my kidney ♪

♪ Darling, just settle for me ♪

And feel free to use specific words

Please, you know what it says.

Are you kidding? I would love some poké.

♪ I think you'll have to agree ♪

This place is the right choice for you.

Man, you're like a broken record.

Abuela's one is so much better.

♪ Steppin' in the club, all those eyes on me ♪

♪ But I'm right here ♪

- Thanks. - So, um,

Are you... are you really doing this?

Uh... oh, okay.

This essay you wrote at the end of your application, it's...

but every time you show up,

We're talking, like, Kabbalah, bee pollen, colonics.

So, anyway, I've decided to eat my feelings, and it turns out...

Yeah. They asked me if I went to Harvard,

What the hell is this?

to turn over a whole new leaf.

Oh, no. it's... it's not him. But it-it's, uh... it's Instagram.

I made a deal with myself.

What's your deal with Rebecca?

Yeah, you know what. Let me make take care of the essay. I got it.

I'm hanging up now.

♪ I'm not the one you adore ♪

♪ Than I've been... ♪

Yeah! I'll be right back!

♪ Maybe it's time to grow up ♪

♪ Have... ♪

♪ Hey, sexy stranger, let's go to my place ♪

♪ We make quite a pair ♪

♪ If he's your broken condom, I'm plan B ♪

so I'm going to hit the ladies.

Can't you see that?

So... someone who gets this upset

Who is your favorite president?

- Okay. - Oh, my gosh.

Uh, we could go, or we could go...

What? What am I doing?

You can't monopolize the bathroom

I make awful decisions.

And our employees are just chill.

- No... - No, I know.