Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

♪ Cuz we been... ♪

Thanks. [sighs]

[softly] Sorry, Josh.

[Natalie] Okay. So?

or my picker is broken.

Oh my God. [laughing]

- Off! Off! Off! Off! Get this off me. No! - Just stop. Stop.

[scoffs] Come on, Josh.

[Natalie] I totally love Christmas,

- [squealing] - Oh wow!

- [man] And? - [crowd murmuring]

Well. [clears throat]

- Oh hey. He mentioned the store. - [Josh chuckles]

- I met someone. [exhales] - Mm-hmm.

Why would you do that?

[Josh] I'm happy to be your emergency contact,

[Grandma] I've seen him in something.

♪ Christmas comes this time each year ♪

- I can't do this, Josh. I can't do this. - Yes, you can.

[woman] Sure, dating has never really been easy,

Uh, why don't you come inside and wait?

Ooh. Yeah, well, looks like now it's just for me.

♪ Holy night ♪

This is gonna be your most epic Disaster Date yet.

Then ask your dad for a loan. I feel like he's the target customer.

but you're a good kid with a big heart,

If you want him to notice you, do something different.

And Natalie, I want you to meet my old friend Tag.

So let's all raise a glass to future Mr. and Mrs. Lin,

- Yeah. - [gasps, screams]

We're maybe just a little bit more than just friends.

- Can we... can we go back inside and... - No, I'm not going inside!

Nothing's changed?

I don't know. It... it doesn't feel right.

Cali Asskicker.

Here's the thing.

Well, five years of braces.

♪ I wish I knew how ♪

[crowd cheering]

How are you feeling back there, Natalie?

[woman] Merry Christmas. Can I help you?

my, um, my mom, she used to read that to me when I was little.

- [Bob] Hi, Chelsea! - [Barb] Merry Christmas, honey.

- What? - One move at a time!

and see what would happen. I got 85 matches in five minutes.

- We were just talking about it. - We talked about this for hours.

because the only way it ends for them is disappointment.

It used to help me sleep, but I honestly can't

Unlikely. Natalie just flew in from California this morning.

[clears throat]

[emotional music continues]

humans were originally created with four arms, four legs,

and given the stuff we used to smoke in his basement after school,

♪ I got the green light I got a little fight ♪

♪ What a bright time It's the right time ♪

Are you implying that this is my fault?

falling in love with a version of you that doesn't exist.

[whispering] Come on. Everybody's looking at us.

- ♪ 'Cause baby, it's cold outside ♪ - ♪ Maybe just go outside ♪

♪ For love ♪

[Josh] You've studied this in depth.

So where did you lovebirds rush off to last night?

Um... I... I think that might be implied.

Well, it's meat today, but then what are you going to lie about tomorrow?

but you'll get the ending you need.

Exactly what you'd expect.

It doesn't really matter.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- ♪ Where we drift and call it dreaming ♪ - [growling]

But you should be thankful because it's why you have a job.

- I think she cut me. - It's okay, baby. I think she did too.

An aggressive climber. I climb all kinds of things like

It's like a... You know those [chuckles] blue-collar mechanics guys

Then just change it. Say, "I enjoy rolling with my homies."

[continues coughing]

I'm sorry. So, you haven't even met this dude yet?

[Natalie] That's easy. Hands down, Die Hard.

Everyone's miserable, though.

Shimmering Pines.

Also! When you're talking to him, throw in some rock climbing lingo.

Grandma, the car's that way!

that's not exactly an address you forget.

Good work, Josh.

I actually teach a survival course in Yosemite every summer.

Careful! Careful! Careful! That's a wax warmer for candle-making.

[Natalie scoffs]

Okay, all right, show's over. Nothing to see here, all right?

Ooh yeah, uh, grab me a Green Latifah with an extra shot of wheatgrass.

Listen, you're not the only one that can stalk people on the internet.

- Geisha? - No.

[scoffs] Why are you being all weird?

♪ God damn, I got blood on my hands ♪

[Natalie] One, it takes place during a Christmas party.

- [radio chatter] - How could you possibly know that?

[Barb] Let's just... [laughs]

- Say yes! - Yes! Yes!

The key is to not focus on the wall, but to focus on your first move.

I told you to stand up, not get down on one knee!

- [knocking on window] - I know you're in there, you mofos.

Come on, Kerry, answer the phone.

you flew across the country to surprise me for Christmas.

The other half, a storybook romance.

[Josh] Okay, let's take a deep breath.

[Natalie] Oh God, I hope so.

Thank you, Grandma.

[breathing heavily] Oh my God!

Oh, look! It's going to print! Little lovebirds.

Natalie! You coming or what?

That's one hell of a hobby.

Oh, sorry, that's just for me.

"Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fairs."

He's from Game of Thrones.

Do I really need to explain?

[Natalie] But I can't do it anymore. I... I... I can't lie.

You make candles?

Duh, first class, honey. I'm not a peasant.

I wasn't expecting company, uh, tonight. I'm Barb. I'm Josh's mom.