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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
May I see yours? And can you show me Josh's?
Plus, he and my brother would just tease me about it.
It was me.
- We don't have to... - [Owen] Yes! You remember this one?
[inhales] uh, we just couldn't keep it to ourselves anymore. Um...
Tonight I'll be assisted in the kitchen
What is this one?
♪ Some days it don't come easy ♪
[knocking on door]
Uh, and I'll be right back. Anyone need anything? No? No? Okay.
I just can't, I'm sorry. I...
I'm kidding. [giggles]
- Here are your drinks, guys. Get involved. - [woman] Thanks.
I mean, you know,
And you?
He knows the difference between there and they are, which you'd be surprised by.
♪ It must have been something you said ♪
but Santa's actually kind of creepy when you think about it.
but I'm pretty sure I qualified for the winter Olympics in Beijing. [chuckles]
- Get this off. - Don't undo that, come on.
- [Natalie] Do you have a hamper? - [Josh] It's over by the closet.
this smells exactly like Grandpa.
Okay, look, I... I can explain.
that I never really stopped to look at my own.
Shut up. Are you joking?
Ugh. "Bottom Gun"?
height and facial symmetry are repulsive.
It's a pretty decent photo of you, though.
we just got so darn excited, and, uh,
Two, it snows at the end. Number three, there are presents involved.
[breathlessly] My EpiPen!
And those teeth.
Not the baby Jesus. Don't. Don't. No, no, no, no.
- Yeah, try me. Oh! Okay, fine! - No. Oh!
Music prevents stretch marks, Owen.
you would not have swiped on me. [grunts]
You do not trust anybody unless he sends you a photo
♪ Counting the days Been waiting since last year ♪
♪ Little Saint Nick ♪
The Lin household?
I want to avoid mentioning that I'm in a wheelchair.
Something a little bit more upbeat?
- [Bob] Aw! What a duet! Terrific! - [Barb] What a beautiful voice, Natalie!
I don't complain.
Natalie, she didn't come to New York for love. She came here for a story.
Yeah.
- ♪ Merry ♪ - ♪ Merry ♪
and after spending, uh, the last week with your beautiful bride-to-be,
Tag Abbott, he may as well have been Zeus's son...
but personally, I find him so inspiring.
[upbeat music playing]
What if he finds out I'm engaged to my cousin?
[Natalie] Owen really likes being the center of attention, huh?
Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.
Did I fly from LA to surprise him for Christmas?
Uh. [laughing nervously]
♪ Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again ♪
I am not having sex with you.
[holiday music playing]
Are you seriously looking for sympathy right now?
You said, and I quote, "I wish you were here with me for Christmas."
[driver] 4.9 stars, and I offer snacks.
No, it doesn't matter what I like.
♪ On the corner of Main Street ♪
I've turned my horrible love life into a successful online writing career.
I... I... I don't know.
He does that every single, solitary time, even Halloween.
Oh, this is not the date. It's just a warm-up.
- [panting] He's gone. - Are you sure?
- [Natalie whimpers] - Now, close your eyes.
Oh! Well, that is awesome.
♪ Her hair curls In the damp of the night ♪
Oh, you're... you're... you're serious.
Well, maybe if I'm helping you with something,
Being seen with you? That would be a huge win.
if I pretended to be his girlfriend for the holidays.
What kind of psychopath creates a fake profile
- [indistinct chatter] - [Barb] Oh my...
- Oh. - It was, uh...
♪ And these are the days that never end ♪
I can help you get him.
my family is pretty intense when it comes to Christmas presents.
♪ You say you wanna move on and ♪
But relax, Dr. Foye is the best in town.
We ain't sharing.
And what strengths are those?
[Natalie sighs]
She's doing the rounds.
He ended up being 20 years older than his photos.
to meet up with a guy who is literally the polar opposite
- [Barb] It's so good to see you! - [Bob] Honey! Wow!
I got you. One sec, baby girl.
Okay, okay. Come here. Come here.
- [Josh grunts] - [Tag] All right, Josh.
♪ Slow down, that's quite a pour ♪
[footsteps receding]
- ♪ Christ the everlasting Lord ♪ - You're off-key, Dad.
And then, your second. Okay?
I think this might be the real deal.
Good evening. Any questions on the menu?
and he likes his girls the same way.
- No! - Yes.
[Natalie] No way. You were chubby as a kid too?
I don't know if I have them.
From my stepmom's side, so that would technically make us step-cousins.
[chuckles]
Yeah, don't you think this is going a little too far?
Oh! Thank God you're not dead.
I don't count carbs.
I mean...
Ah, that's funny, because I didn't know what to think
Bear with me. Um... [sniffs]
Oh! I've never felt more alive!
Any questions?
[both laughing]
but I got a pretty great stepmom now, so...
- [exhales deeply] - [text tones]
- ♪ Holy infant so... ♪ - [gasps] Oh!
[Natalie] Half of you love a great Disaster Date story.
- ♪ This evening has been... ♪ - Totally consensual.
Walden?
- ♪ Very Merry Christmas ♪ - ♪ Very Merry ♪
["Read My Mind" by Golda May playing]
Kids in middle school used to ask me which chin I really used.
Uh, I'm gonna show her a grand tour of Lake Placid and the store.
[ethereal tinkling]
this might be the most sane thing you've ever done.
So, I decided to come here and surprise him for Christmas.
Why the hell would you do that?
The common denominator is that it's a bunch of LA assholes.
["Curls" by Bibio playing]
So...