Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- ♪ Merry ♪ - ♪ Merry ♪
What is this one?
Music prevents stretch marks, Owen.
Are you seriously looking for sympathy right now?
Bear with me. Um... [sniffs]
♪ Slow down, that's quite a pour ♪
Oh, this is not the date. It's just a warm-up.
♪ Some days it don't come easy ♪
I just can't, I'm sorry. I...
Oh, you're... you're... you're serious.
you would not have swiped on me. [grunts]
[knocking on door]
Oh! Thank God you're not dead.
[chuckles]
Yeah, don't you think this is going a little too far?
Not the baby Jesus. Don't. Don't. No, no, no, no.
Did I fly from LA to surprise him for Christmas?
Tonight I'll be assisted in the kitchen
[inhales] uh, we just couldn't keep it to ourselves anymore. Um...
Why the hell would you do that?
Okay, look, I... I can explain.
Walden?
[Natalie] Half of you love a great Disaster Date story.
Plus, he and my brother would just tease me about it.
She's doing the rounds.
The common denominator is that it's a bunch of LA assholes.
- Get this off. - Don't undo that, come on.
- [Bob] Aw! What a duet! Terrific! - [Barb] What a beautiful voice, Natalie!
You do not trust anybody unless he sends you a photo
So, I decided to come here and surprise him for Christmas.
Uh, and I'll be right back. Anyone need anything? No? No? Okay.
I think this might be the real deal.
But relax, Dr. Foye is the best in town.
Uh, I'm gonna show her a grand tour of Lake Placid and the store.
this smells exactly like Grandpa.
Okay, okay. Come here. Come here.
Oh! Well, that is awesome.
[Natalie] Owen really likes being the center of attention, huh?
♪ Little Saint Nick ♪
- [indistinct chatter] - [Barb] Oh my...
It was me.
- Here are your drinks, guys. Get involved. - [woman] Thanks.
So...
The Lin household?
[holiday music playing]
and after spending, uh, the last week with your beautiful bride-to-be,
[Natalie sighs]
Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.
Yeah.
It's a pretty decent photo of you, though.
♪ And these are the days that never end ♪
I'm kidding. [giggles]
- We don't have to... - [Owen] Yes! You remember this one?
- No! - Yes.
- ♪ Very Merry Christmas ♪ - ♪ Very Merry ♪
[ethereal tinkling]
Ugh. "Bottom Gun"?
♪ Her hair curls In the damp of the night ♪
[driver] 4.9 stars, and I offer snacks.
♪ You say you wanna move on and ♪
And those teeth.
I am not having sex with you.
♪ On the corner of Main Street ♪
but personally, I find him so inspiring.
- [Barb] It's so good to see you! - [Bob] Honey! Wow!
Ah, that's funny, because I didn't know what to think
if I pretended to be his girlfriend for the holidays.
but I'm pretty sure I qualified for the winter Olympics in Beijing. [chuckles]
["Read My Mind" by Golda May playing]
He does that every single, solitary time, even Halloween.
I want to avoid mentioning that I'm in a wheelchair.
- ♪ Christ the everlasting Lord ♪ - You're off-key, Dad.
- ♪ This evening has been... ♪ - Totally consensual.
Good evening. Any questions on the menu?
- [Natalie whimpers] - Now, close your eyes.
Two, it snows at the end. Number three, there are presents involved.
Kids in middle school used to ask me which chin I really used.
[both laughing]
- ♪ Holy infant so... ♪ - [gasps] Oh!
I don't count carbs.
Being seen with you? That would be a huge win.
- [panting] He's gone. - Are you sure?
and he likes his girls the same way.
[Natalie] No way. You were chubby as a kid too?
Shut up. Are you joking?
♪ It must have been something you said ♪
♪ Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again ♪
we just got so darn excited, and, uh,
He knows the difference between there and they are, which you'd be surprised by.
And what strengths are those?
Any questions?
I don't know if I have them.
May I see yours? And can you show me Josh's?
- [Josh grunts] - [Tag] All right, Josh.
No, it doesn't matter what I like.
From my stepmom's side, so that would technically make us step-cousins.
Well, maybe if I'm helping you with something,
I mean...
♪ Counting the days Been waiting since last year ♪
I don't complain.
And you?
Something a little bit more upbeat?
I... I... I don't know.
to meet up with a guy who is literally the polar opposite
He ended up being 20 years older than his photos.
that I never really stopped to look at my own.
- [exhales deeply] - [text tones]
- Yeah, try me. Oh! Okay, fine! - No. Oh!
["Curls" by Bibio playing]
but Santa's actually kind of creepy when you think about it.
I can help you get him.
We ain't sharing.
[breathlessly] My EpiPen!
What kind of psychopath creates a fake profile
height and facial symmetry are repulsive.
- Oh. - It was, uh...
Uh. [laughing nervously]
[footsteps receding]
You said, and I quote, "I wish you were here with me for Christmas."
And then, your second. Okay?
I got you. One sec, baby girl.
my family is pretty intense when it comes to Christmas presents.
I mean, you know,
What if he finds out I'm engaged to my cousin?
but I got a pretty great stepmom now, so...
[upbeat music playing]
Tag Abbott, he may as well have been Zeus's son...
Oh! I've never felt more alive!
Natalie, she didn't come to New York for love. She came here for a story.
this might be the most sane thing you've ever done.
- [Natalie] Do you have a hamper? - [Josh] It's over by the closet.
I've turned my horrible love life into a successful online writing career.