Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

But then, suddenly, while starin' up at the moon,

For $475/month...

I hit pay dirt when I got a job with a traveling carnival,

who's filling in for shannon mckinley? karon austin.

It was grossing everybody out,

Someone shoves an M-80 up a bullfrog's butt, blows him to pieces, he comes back to you to fix it. You win twice, brother. It's good biz.

How do you make your mowing lines so straight

Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the towing business...

- Hey, you're grounded! - Hey, TV people! Why are y'all goin' away?

I am always nice to you Joe Dirt

Nobody wants you around, period!

Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the cell phone business

Don't you see? All the tourists at the canyon that day my parents lost me,

"What's up, baby?"

my friend: Louisiana has the most criminal activity me:

Might as well ask Why is a tree good? Why's sunset good? why are boobs good?

Yeah, dream on, Kirtboy

You're not just an Indian. You're Kicking Wing. All right?

August. I don't got this one.

What a great weekend!

- Right, so what'd you do? - Right, so then I needed some money.

Old? This look old?

Life’s a garden. Till it.

You like to see homos naked?

practice taking third and under George and I will be there in a minute

Well, that's what I'm tryin' to call up here.

Like I’m some white trash perv

No You’re Not

No you’re Not

Your ass and my face What’s up

pritzker after finding out County Sheriffs won't enforce gun ban

Dont try and Church it up, Son. Don't you mean Dirt?

Someone shoves an M-80 up a bullfrog's butt, blows him to pieces, he comes back to you to fix it. You win twice, brother. It's good biz.

It's just an old crapper tank, people.

You didn't listen to me!

I just hope whoever he is, he deserves a girl like you.

So, I hit the road with my list of names,

Valerie, I only have enough money for me and kids.

Welcome back to TRL.

This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.

- That's a snail watching that. - There's a snail in the desert?

Now, it's time for the good stuff!

We need a cleanup right away.

I MEAN, MAYBE ONE DAY pRO dEAL bUSINESS WILL GET INTO THE IMPOUND BUSINESS.

Don’t try and church it up

She's gonna freak out when she sees my wheels.

But, you know, you probably don't wanna hear all my problems.

This is a business, not a charity. Now maybe someday unicef will get into the sports business, but for now, we’re the ones to see

Anyway, the cops knew it wasn't a bomb right away.

Is it done? How much is in there?

My face And your ass

- Balls to the wall. - Yeah.

This is a business, not a charity. Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the NCAA suite business, but until that happens, I am the man to see

One day, I'm gonna marry that girl.

Yes, but once I met them, I knew I had to protect you from them.

You see the peanut? Dead giveaway.

Nah I’m cool No you’re not

Maybe someday UNICEF will get into Charter Business... But until then, we’re the people to see.

Husker Du's, Husker Don'ts,

Can I come too?

- Look! The janitor's gonna eat the puke! - They're hilarious, huh?

'cause I'm gonna be a veterinarian.

That's why I was immediately attracted to you.

YOU THERE SHOW ME THEM BOOBIES.

- Plus 35 bucks for the tow. - What?

Goddamn, you outta date, boy.

Home is where you make it.

Brad wants My body

For Christ's sake! Here!

And I hope you don't win For another 50 years

Well, I'd better go. It's show time.

Or your cousin! Oh Missy!

You told me my parents were dead, and I saw 'em.

Why don't you stick your head up your butt and fight for air? Ha!

I'm kiddin'. But seriously, let's hook up.

This'll be a good base for me here in Louisiana while I look for my parents.

You want me to put my ear to the pipe And listen for steam leaks??

New York City. I mean, Kansas.

Can everybody get a shot of these?

Nah. Flow is where you make it.

Shit will buff out

Anyone that’s lived near railroad tracks

This is a Business, Not a Charity. Maybe one day Unicef will get into the Commercial diswasher business, till then, I'm the guy to see

Hey! You're talkin' to my guy all wrong.

Tiger Boy, come here you mangy mutt

No. No. You know what, guys, I'm fine.

Hey, my man. I got a big date tonight. I'm here to pick up my ride.

Alright well Thank god for SAPD

Can't a guy even take a dump in peace?

Sorry, Billy Jack.

I just didn't know you were in this witness protection thing, brother.

Why didn't your mom change the wig later?

That's why Dad named you Joe Dirt instead of Nunamaker!

At least I know my car will blow his off the road!

Rachel, my love Show me you boobies!!!

This ain’t UNICEF I mean maybe one day UNICEF will get into the tshirt printing business. Until then I’m the guy to see.

You rule! Joe Dirt! Joe Dirt! Joe Dirt!

I'm your sister! I'm your sister!

I’m cool man No you’re not

I'm wringing this chamois as long as I can.

GUY LIKES TO SEE HOMOS NAKED... THAT DON'T HELP ME NONE

And the snail can talk?

None of that pussy skoal right dad

Jace just told Sam you can tag with last names And you can tell he's never even thought of that!

who's filling in for lyndsay tipzerkritt? miguel di angelo.

- Hey, there's Charlie. - Charlie!

Footprints Everyone has

I was at your dads place I mean Iowa

They don't like no feedback. What's up?

Nunamaker! Nunamaker!

where you saw me?

Somebody do something.

and you are a complete loser.

Home What’s that?

You had a home all along. You just couldn't see it.

As my head cleared,

When bad pets go bad, dang!

there won't be some that accidentally have me and my parents in 'em, man.

She is so fine..

This can happen to you....... .........

Once in a while you got a problem with the boiler.

Enough, you broken record! Okay! I’ve been down here for 3 months, man.

You got some cookin' to do.

It aint no stimulus, it's a big old frozen chunk of poopy

Maybe someday UNICEF will get into the patent business

IT'S THE WRONG TONE

This is a big old frozen chunk of poopie.

- New York or somethin'. - No. I'm from here.

This is a busniess not a charity... I mean maybe one day UNICEF will be in the alarm installiaton busniess,but untill then...

I wish I knew what happened that one day at that Grand Canyon place.

That's the guy! That's the hero!

If my calculations are correct, this will create ice.

That's right, Ewers. Nobody wants you in this town.

My tooth! My tooth!

I'd give him 7,500. I used to have one of these. This guy's crazy.

One day.... Imma marry that girl

Security? Don’t you mean Guard shack?

Did you get it? Yeah. Baby.

Maybe we'll go back down to McDonald's

on my own again, looking for my parents, but I don't know their last names.

I need to find a home, Meteor.

Val, I only have enough money for me and kids.

Clem, are you from around here? 'Cause your accent sounds like

So, there I was.

That's what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon.

You need explosions. You need stuff going on, man.

A lot of kids would have been scared, but I was all tough about it.

Nah, I killed him

There you go, Don. Take 'er easy.

When you invite your buddies to mug night