Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Hey, hey, TV people!

Henne to Mahomes before his 98yd drive

You see the peanut?

They just got their own issues and whatnot.

Are these queer? What's up? What's up?

After watching Tyler Childers music video

Is that right? You think that's queer?

This one time I was jerkin my gerkin

Actually, we got separated when I was eight.

See, she signed it right there.

Is this where you wanna be In 2027?

See, it wasn't really my dog. It was this girl's dog.

They clean the bowl so you don't have to.

But they say Joe Dirts a weird name & how cool am I

Brandy. Brandy is jive.

See, them airplanes, they dump their toilets 36,000 feet,

My face and your ass. How about that, friend?

Are you cryin' boy? Notre Dame sucks!!!

You like to see homos naked?

It's training.... It ain't Unicef okay?

We never lost her ..... We was just waitin at the Qmart the whole time!!!

It’s not why you like It’s the market

Vaya a venderle chorizos a la mona

I've got to find my parents.

But see, I don't know their last name.

- Over here, Mr. Dirt. - Well, it's like this.

No one that cares if you're alive or dead?

Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the BOURBON business...

If she was here right now, maybe we'd have a house with a little fence

But are you depressed? I mean, your parents, who you were looking for,

- Hey, a little help? - There he is, boys! Get him!

It has a happy birthday! Alright, alright. I'm havin' a happy birthday!

You are so pathetic.

Hell, Yeah, I'm Going To Louisiana, Brother!

Don’t make me…

We've got the place surrounded. Come out with your hands in the air.

Come on, boy! Come on!

Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the pre paid wireless business, Until then you gotta go sell people on our value man!

Splitting from the pack on my chopper

All right, well, then, thank God for Joe Dirt.

There. Look. I'm puttin' the lotion on the skin.

I was gonna be a janitor.

I think I'm going to go to the restroom and take a big Joe Don't forget to wipe your Flacco

Everybody know that!

I got a backup mic right here.

This is a business, not a charity. Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the used grill business... ...but until then, we're the people to see.

Watch the guns baby That’s how I get the gals

Maybe one day unicef will get into the trucking business but until then, axle logistics are the folks to see

Holy shit Fuck you

- I think your dog's in a little trouble here. - What's wrong?

and "Life's a garden. Dig it."

True Live Resin None of that distillate or added back Terps

Do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.

When you find out Lamborghinis cost 100,000 used

These are Roman candles, brother. That's good stuff.

I was just a little kid.

And I wanna ask her why she was playin' these games with you.

Hey, man, I... I can't say don't make fun of me,

I got it. Now what?

Listen. You're on your own.

We're startin' this Clown.com kind of a thing.

and that means washed under your fingernails and back of your ears

HOME IS WHERE YOU MAKE IT

My dad made my last name Dirt for some reason.

MAYBE GO DOWN TO MCDONALD’S AND GET YOU A WHAA-BURGER AND SOME FRENCH CRIES!

Dang. It's out.

I'll hold your half for ya.

Hey, who's this chick over here? Is that your girlfriend?

But that’s a deal though

You win twice brother That’s good biz

Hey, baby, I'm on! Yeah.

he’s in dog heaven

How my text comes out when typing fast...

Ma'am, are you selling this car?

Not me! That's the guy!

Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back

- No! - Joe! Joe!

Because cory catfish are the only ones I like

Thank god for Valerie Marie

You two shoot him low, you shoot him high.

and it's amazing to me that you turned out like you did

I left it here. Friend's house.

You don't know how many nights I spent alone staring at that moon

we might move, and you might not know where to find me.

I mean, I get this loser talking about the moon

All right! We didn't lose him.

All right. I want you to settle down. Don't make me call your probie officer here.

This next song goes out to our good friend, Joe Dirt, the dirt man.

You're my lucky meteor. Right on.

- Good boy. - You got a big family now, Joe Dirt.

- Hoorah. - What...

- It just does. - It just does.

When the service truck gets a new helper

Nobody wants you around PERIOS

This Is A Business, Not A Charity Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the tax business, till then, I’m the guy to see

So, I did a real bad thing there,

THAT’S NOT WHAT I HEARD

to do anybody any good with my recollections.

that I'm now referring to as

Corn off the Cob

It's Joe Dirt. But if you're just gonna make fun of me, man,

How long did you look for me before you gave up?

I just wanna say thanks to all the people that stop me in the street

I Mean, Maybe One Day UNICEF Will Get Into The SaaS Business

They got me on a radio station tellin' my story to everybody.

You keep calling that tractor rap shit country music. Do it again I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.

So, now you have a bunch of names

Don't forget to wipe your dirt.

George we'll just chop Marley up and throw her onto a tractor George we'll just knock a bookcase on Marley and chop her up

Yeah. And besides, she don't wanna see you anyway.

Get this thing full of lighter fluid.

Over in Kansas.

You have to hit it with a hammer, but it's a good job.

- The one place we didn't look. - I knew you looked for me.

Nobody wants you around

Fuckin Garden My Ass! God Damn!

and all the while maintained his positive outlook on life,

This is a business, not a charity Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the chess business.

You're my first real friend I've found, outside of Charlie and Brandy.

Is this heresy? Is this heresy? What’s up?! What’s up?!

They seem to like me.

Yesterday, provide a little backstory for the listeners,

And If Your Drunk, I'm Not gonna play Spin the Bottle Later either!

Zander Kelly's on the air.

Brandy, what's that got to do with me? We're always gonna be buddies, right?

Can I say that?

Joe! Joe! How are you feeling?

Show me those boobies

I mean, maybe one day unicef will get into the aviation business

Yeah, it is. It came out of the sky.

Breakfast of champions.

He's your real hero, people, not me.

So, there I was, right back where I started all those years ago,

- Radio station ID. - Coming to work.

especially a cool guy like you, Kicking Wing.

That’s you dirt

- Excuse me, sir. - Hey, there, young fella.

Yeah, dream on, Kirtboy.

And it's a good thing that gator didn't get my ring finger,

It's the wrong tone.

There's some deals in here.

Home is where you make it!

- You suck! - You do!

Now, I'll tell you what I could do.

I got to tell her what happened, why I got weird.

People like that security guard,

You're gonna stand there owning a fireworks stand

Joe? Joe, come back over here.

Time not ber frand

I mean, maybe on day UNICEF will get into the alarm installation busniess Then maybe we can have something to talk about

Well, that might be your problem.

So one night I just pushed him into the wood chipper Told the cops he fell

I don't mean to interrupt your clown pitch there,

The little man, the ordinary person who endured enormous adversity,

Her legs went on for days.

Your buddy Clem's real name was Anthony Benedetti.

How does chiropractic work?? It just does!!!

Enough, you broken record! Okay! I've been down here for two weeks, man.

God I hate these nasty things

You never give up, man. That's my philosophy.

You like those spinning tires

None of that pussy skoal

I'm sorry about the noise, sir.

6 7 I just different on the highway

No, man, but you gotta keep going. What am I gonna do, quit?

You see we're not related. We can have sex again

You're talking to my guy all wrong. It's the wrong tone. do it again, and i'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron

Whew Look at that shit