Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ They're really saying ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ They're really saying ♪
You come out.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, picky, picky. Let's go, Edward. Yeah, the chase.
Reader's Digest is considering publishing two of my jokes.
Bookworms, Headquarters Support Activities Saigon
How would you describe your testicles?
Easy, Madge.
I want you to play this.
due to a yearly mail rush at that time.
What's the difference between the Army and the Cub Scouts?
- You wanna take the ball? - No.
I just remain reticent.
one of A.C.'s favourites.
That about wraps it up for me, Marty Lee,
An Loc? Shit.
and they could power a small New Hampshire town.
Well, actually, it's a little more than just a hobby.
- She say it's a little spicy. - A little, yeah.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
Phan Duc Tho!
You just get him out.
Gonna give ya the ol’ Chuck on the shoulder now
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Well, a good polka it is
It's Hanoi Hannah.
Five-thirty, it's very early. I may have to hurt you.
due to luggage lost on transport carriers.
Those are the guys that are dying.
God. Nude photographs of Walter Brennan.
We've got our traffic report up there on the Ho Chi Minh Trail.
[BOTH SPEAK IN VIETNAMESE]
Hey, fellas, how's the cough-drop business?
play Sinead Loud OK
TAYLOR: He made a mistake. DICKERSON: Mistake, sir?
Hello, hey. Well, the gang's all here, huh? Ha, ha.
Good Moring Vietnam
You're in Southeast Asia now, pal. You got your cushy little assignment.
Weather out there today is hot and shitty
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Of people going by ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Of people going by ♪
Okay. Who do we have slated for live entertainment in November?
I Left My Heart in San Francisco, of course, Moonlight in Vermont,
for my good friend Frenchy.
[SINGING] Puff, the Magic Dragon Living by the tree
Hey, Staley! Eat a bag of shit, you suck!
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Is it a little too early for being that loud? Hey, too late.
I'm the tallest hog in the trough around here.
CRONAUER: What, sir? - Oh, my God.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] You're here, good to see you.
- Not friends. - Of course.
- I'm not going on. - What do you mean, you're not going on?
[AS GOMER PYLE] Yes, I am. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
GARLICK: I can't, sir. CRONAUER: You don't understand.
TUAN: You can buy me lunch, but please forget about my sister.
Hey, you two Earl. What about couple beer?
CRONAUER: Have you considered a sex change?
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Who's that? [AS FRENCHY] It's your old pal Frenchy.
Hotter things is my shorts.
You know Puff the Magic Dragon? Will you sing it?
- Okay. - I'm...
Hey, there you are, Cronauer.
Wet and cold till 15th of January….it could be warmer
Not comfort for me.
This news isn't official. That comment is too sarcastic.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] We're gonna hit some songs at you now.
What is a lakai?
Hi. How's Lynn doing?
hello my name is Robin Williams my name is Robin Williams from mrs. Doubtfire Good morning Vietnam and other movies you probably recognize me
You were my friend.
No, you step on crap. You don't call it to a person.
Gonna give ya the ol’ chuck on the shoulder now.
Second Covid shot done, not feeling any side affec......
Aw, no. Ha-ha-ha.
And this one is brought to you by our friends at the Pentagon.
The card should be no larger than 4-by-5 inches
The ARVIN Army
Whatever it is, I like it.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] What music do you like? Little Anthony?
At ease. I'm General Taylor.
Got some songs going out right now to a couple of guys
GOOOOOOD MORNING CRENDER!
By the food and flower vendors where you burn your mouth on the noodles.
Where am I gonna take requests? Where can you call from?
CRONAUER: So this is the country where they grow rattan love seats.
Goooooooooood morning Viet Nan
Hey Stop snoring
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ "I love you" ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ "I love you" ♪
Gooooood Morning Spastic Slaaaags
Hey, hey.
[SOLDIER BLOWS WHISTLE]
CRONAUER [SINGING]: Here she comes
[EFFEMINATELY] They're ruby slippers.
But not before his humour cost the lives of three very fine individuals.
Thousands of guys wrote in, called in, trying to get you reinstated.
No, I'm actually hungry.
CRONAUER: Okay, everybody, let's play ball!
He's read unofficial news. What's he gonna be like in six months?
Lieutenant Schneer...
Jyd
Do you ever wonder how a young South Vietnamese boy
I don't know where they are. I don't even know where am.
[ENGINE TURNING]
GARLICK: I learned enough about radio stations.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
LETS GET THIS SHITSHOW STARTED
- This one's a better one. - No. No. No need.
All right.
More dire need of a blow job than any white man in history.
And how lucky for me. Thank you very much for playing.
A man does not refer to Pat Boone as a beautiful genius if things are all right.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ So pretty in the sky ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ So pretty in the sky ♪
. .
- Is he all right? - No, Phil, he's not all right.
Sergeant Sloan our teacher. You're not supposed to be in here.
The fighting's not in the hills. It's downtown...
Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ.
I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch,
I've been broadcasting the polkas
and Third Man Theme on the Kirk I nternational...
- That's a deal. - It's a deal?
We've got a deejay that the men dearly love.
It just came down the pike. You're back on the air, sir.
Can you envision some fairly unattractive alternatives?
Yeah! Run, run, run!
- You're not gonna last long here, pal. - You can always send me back to Crete.
I mean, the man's not funny. I know funny and he's not funny.
who, despite all your requests, will return tomorrow.
[OXEN MOO]
[SOLDIER] I'm in a phone booth out in the DMZ. I'm trying to call you right now.
There she is.
- Where are you come from? - Queens. Bayside, Queens.
- You can step on crap. I know you can. - Yes, but they can be full of shit, he said.
Cowgirls are called gals.
Hey, 12, please. Um...
Carry on, Montesque. Carry on.
SOLDIERS: Yeah!
The men all hate Hauk. They want Cronauer back.
GOOOOOOD MOOOOOORRRRNING Neeeeew Hire claaaassss!!!
- How would anyone see you fall? - No, no, no. Not literally falling down.
How would you do that?
And I'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated.
This will not look good on a resume!
Listen, if you have any problems here now, you come see me.
- What? I was there. - Airman, you know the rules.
What's the weather like out there? [SOLDIER] It's hot, damn hot, real hot.
That's it for Hygiene in the Heat. Tomorrow we'll...
Former Vice President Richard Nixon's in town.
Who can tell me who sang the song My Guy?
Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls.
those personnel wishing to spend Christmas cards home...
Go into conference. That point. That fence.
We've got a mounting crisis in this country.
Okay, yeah, well, we'll try and do that if we get the equipment.
- As you have suggested, give and take.
ы ы
keep the PC on the QT
NIXON: They're soft, they're shallow
Walter, what's the weather like?
[AS WITCH] Now, little GI, you and your little Toto too.