Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh, censor, censor, censor.
You don't have time.
It's the guys in the field that matter, remember?
- That is not funny. - How about if it escalated?
That's right, the big Dick is here. Get ready.
Can't see dick.
End of an inning.
- That's a joke, right? - Maybe.
Listen, I gotta talk to you. Now. Come on.
You're both from New York. Nice to have you, you like hanging out?
Welcome to Saigon, sir.
Thank you for playing anyway. Here it is right now. What's your name?
DREIWITZ: I tell you, this guy's funny. - I'm trying to run a meeting here.
Why'd you do this?
That's right, the U.S. Army.
Do you have any idea how ridiculous it makes me look
You could see how we live.
I think some apologies are in order.
The Army knows about your brother.
to get your ass back on the air.
So do I.
KIRK: Yes, sir. LEVITAN: How the hell do I know?
with nothing to say and no way to do it?
- You guys mind if I drive? - Be my guest.
Baby.
Please make a note of it. Ahem. Excuse me.
You like it? I got it in Hong Kong, home of the shiny green suit.
- You did? - Nearby the larch tree, near Viet Hoa.
Those pilots are going, I like the music, I like the music.
KIRK: I will tell him, sir. - Didn't I speak to you before?
This guy is funny!
Sergeant major.
Good Morning Spokane
- Ba Muy Ba beer, best beer in Vietnam. - Ba Muy Ba beer, only beer in Vietnam.
SIR, IN MY HEART, I KNOW I'M FUNNY
- My name is Lewis Striker. CRONAUER: Striker.
CRONAUER: Sir?
I want to say goodbye before you go.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪
[NORMAL] Bob, what do you do? [SHOUTS] I'm in Artillery!
Can I help you?
Turn the power off in that studio.
You say after you go out with Trinh, you meet me to talk about her.
I know because she's my sister.
Shot by American.
Gooooooood Moooooorninggggg E-Commmmerce
[IN NORMAL VOICE] That's it for the Adrian Cron-Hour.
indonesia juara indonesia menang
Flip them a bird!
It's not a pretty picture. There's pieces of rubber all over his face.
[AS MICK JAGGER] Oh, you like Mick Jagger?
Then you go. Yeah, there's some skin. Now you do it to me.
you're in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history.
Hey, hey, hey.
[IN DEEP VOICE] Don't go near there?
Well, thank you, sergeant. I've missed you.
Speaking of early, how about that Cro-Magnon, Marty Dreiwitz?
Oh, God, this could be very ugly. Hi.
- the one and the only king of the airwaves, - You're a dead man.
Listen, his life is in danger. You gotta tell me where the hell he is.
Yes, Sergeant Major Dickerson.
I was almost killed.
- Forgive me. - Hey.
...when you get out of the Army?
[SOLDIERS CHEERING]
Sound like you learned English from Tonto. We go.
Oh! You're going straight to Hell for that one!
[AS JAMES BROWN] Back again.
Ethel Merman today uses a test to jam Russian radar.
I can't, it's still paddling.
- I live to collate, sir. - Good.
[IN BAD FRENCH ACCENT] Lieutenant Steve, Lieutenant Steve?
and company clerk.
do you like good food?
I've had no actual...
There's prophylactic everywhere, man.
asking for Cronauer's reinstatement.
- You know any American songs at all? - Puff the Magic Dragon.
CRONAUER: Any food on this street that doesn't give you diarrhoea?
He's impeccably clean.
Wilk, Wilk. Look, you got a base, take it.
Call me crazy, he's in Rome.
- Possibly, but you would need... - Just what I wanted to hear.
Yes. Hey, you know what I mean.
I do nothing.
I won't forget you.
goooood morning... everybody!!!!!
[WOMAN CRYING]
All right?
Didn't have to pick up the phones until he comes back.
If you two have personal problems, solve them, will you?
Don't disappoint your...
Thank you.
We put in just a touch of formaldehyde for flavour.
I n Vietnam, family often come to meet someone, to meet someone.
Goddamn it, I like you, son. I like what you do.
Thank you, Marty. Silky smooth sounds, get out of here.
Yeah.
I just wanted to think that you should...
Get back.
Way, way, way out of line.
by a Jewish scientist in Switzerland, Dr. Feintush.
- Where you going to? - Nha Trang.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪
Good morning Vietnam!!!
CRONAUER: I'm impressed.
with a pissy weather front coming down from the north.
- Don't do this. SOLDIER 3: Groucho Marx!
Who the hell gets laid as a young child? And stop calling them gals.
You're not supposed to address the general saying hi.
Now, let's start off with the fact that English is a fantastic language.
because I intend to take issue with your performance.
If you're walking on the streets of New York and someone says,
Time to take that big orange pill
You think this is the most serious set of affairs I have to address? It's not.
CRONAUER: How can you fight a war in this shit?
A little of this: Whoo-whoo-whoo.
Who is this South Vietnamese boy?
Me waiting for cardiology appointment!
- It read for my the book. - I've never heard rhymes like that.
No, it okay. I not tell you okay otherwise.
Basically It’s hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut.
CRONAUER: Sounds like a couple of cops in Brooklyn,
Airman Cronauer requesting you to elaborate.
You know,
Here's how you do it, Slip me some skin. Put your hand out there.
That's Marty Lee Dreiwitz.
Good morning, Vietnam? What the heck is that supposed to mean?
Sir, sir, reading the news is one thing,
God!
you're under arrest, Cronauer.
He mean that as compliment.
- As soon as possible. - VG, sir.
SOLDIER 6: Moe. GARLICK: Guess again.
Good morning, Montana!!!
- Cooked with...
- Okay. CRONAUER: Okay.
Da Nang me, Da Nang me Why don't they get a rope and hang me?
[BELL RINGS]
- No effect on me.
Something funny, Garlick?
This is Tuan, the guys.
Funny is good.
[ENGINE TURNING]
- Am I being fairly clear? - Yes, sir.
[AS FRENCHY] Oh, but of course, the French love good food.
LEVITAN: Levitan. WOMAN: Levitan.
CRONAUER: Look.
CRONAUER: So, what's wrong with that? TUAN: It's more devout here.
Get off. Go, go, go.